Winter's Heart

The winter mist swirls around my feet.
Nightsky blue and silver for the stars
    are the colors of my name.
Dazed and confused I stumble blindly forward
    waiting for the fall
Not knowing when I will see the light again.
I reach out a trembling hand to encounter Hope.
That which is given freely with nothing expected in return,
I draw from their strength knowing it is the only way home.
The road less traveled is the one I tread
    Where even Fear is afraid.
Destiny has no such qualms.
Onward, ever onward.
Fate is fast on my heels,
Her breath an icy certainty on my neck.
The Phoenix is reborn and keeps the company of dragons and unicorns
    Who keep her safe.
I turn from them, knowing the price I pay is less because of this.
With all their love I stand alone and face the dawn.

Fragile Tears

Alone in a crowd.
Oh how they laugh!
  Snicker.
    Chuckle.
When I turn my back they watch to see what I do.

Nothing.

How dare they think they can upset my fragile little world.
Glass walls.
    Paper floor.
I make them strong.
My anger is the walls.
My pain is the floor.
My laughter is the ceiling.
They cannot make me become who they want me to be.
I turn them off and laugh through my tears.

Silent Grief

Heartfelt sighs whisper on the wind.
Carried by the strength of their loss,
  their love,
    their joy,
      their pain.
Questions remain unanswered.
Messages unrelayed, decisions delayed.

Grief.

Pain lessens with knowing,
But it takes time.
Joy that comes quickly may die just as fast.
Happiness seems a fleeting moment,
Until you have it for a lifetime.

How long is a lifetime?
The silence between heartbeats.

Reaching for a New Hope

The stars shine brightly,
Little points of fire in a cold sky.
He appears as if from a dream, waking me from sleep,
Trying to tell me something I need to know.
My life...
Trying to get to this point,
  Here...
    Now.
I am so close I can taste it, and all I get are riddles.
I can touch it with my mind,
But it is mist and it dissipates like smoke through air.
Lacy spider webs are my hopes.
  Intricate,
    Strong.
Tenuous hold on the corners of my foundation,
So easily ripped apart and thrown away,
Scattered on the wind, Only to catch on something else.

The Way Home

Bitch.
The hurt, pain, agony,
All I feel because of you,
And you don't know.
  Or do you?
Haughty princess thinks she knows it all,
But she knows nothing.
Whispers in her ear are received, and she tells him.
He believes.
She laughs.
Grinding, crushing malice.
The dream turns away from me.
  I follow.
Where else would I go?
The light is faint, wavering in the distance.
Getting farther as I run faster towards it.
A candle flame flickering,
Her breath a flame keeping it lit, toying with me.
My eyes!
The light blurs and darkness engulfs me.
I embrace it, receive it.
She won't know that I am home.

Sometimes....

Don't you wish?
I do.... all the time...

I feel my heart breaking and I know there is nothing I can do.
He picks up the pieces and puts them back together
    To see them break again...

My heart is overflowing with love for him,
And I know he knows....
  Love is hard...
    Life is hard.
When all you want to do is crawl under a rock somewhere,
Dying would be too easy.

When you wish upon a star, be careful...
You may get what you wish for.
And it may be everything you ever wanted,
  Everything you ever dreamed of...
And it won't be easy.
    Oh no.... it won't be easy...

She'll be waiting around every corner,
Waiting to swoop down and catch her unwary prey.

Watching... like a hawk...

To rip your heart out...

We who worship the Night,
Who live for the Darkness and shun the Light
But they deny me.....

      I want...

I Wait...

A darkling rage creeps up my spine.
  I know its name.

    I cannot hide.

It grabs me tight so I cannot run.
  Dark,
    Pain,
      Icy hot.

Squeezes tight,
  Tighter...

There.
    I see a light.

But I was mistaken.

You are Not Alone

He walks alone in the shadow's sun,
Gliding along on the moonbeam's rung.
Once alone, he is no more
For one has melted the heart of stone.


Pain in shadows, Night is come,
Silver Moonbeams are your Sun.
Dance with dust motes, chase the air,
Float away on clouds so fair.


Alone in time forevermore
Sun and Moon will guide you far
Follow Stars and home you'll be
Never alone, For there is me.


(for Sam)

When all the world's a stage and I am on it,
I feel as if I can do anything...

I can be anything...
  Say anything...

I live for the stage,
  And the stage lives for me.

So why do you resent me?
Why can't you let me be me?
I want to share....
But you won't let me.

You made me cry.

I raise my hands and scream at the wind, but it doesn't hear me.
I tear at the ground with my feet, but it doesn't feel.
I run in circles until I can't breathe anymore.
  I can't breathe anymore....
    I can't breathe anymore.....

The pain is inside...... I keep it hidden.
I show the anger... the frustration...
What do you think I am?
I reach out, and you are not there....

For Freak

When all the pain is gone,
And the only thing left
Is the emptiness,
You must fight the feeling
That you are drowning.
Reach out your hand
And you will find me,
Waiting to pull you to shore...

In the shadows of my mind
I hear the endless scream
Of the joyless existence of my pain.
It burns like wildfire
through the neverending corridors.
What do you want??
What more can you take from me??
I am nothing.....

Jim�s Song

for Steve

Night had fallen over the city.

I sat looking out my window, thinking of him.

wondering...

if, at another window, in another city,
he sat thinking of me.

He calls softly in the night to let me know he is there,
Thinking about me.

We talk for hours, or minutes,
There is no difference.

And when he has to go, he is still there.....

Stop
You�re hurting me
You told me it would be forever
You told me you loved me

It�s not your fault
Her hold on you is like a vise
getting tighter and tighter
when you try to
slip
away

I know you can�t choose
I wouldn�t ask you to choose

I�ve been through this before
or something like it
I don�t want this again
not again

I will always be here for you
When you need me
I love you

Why are you crying?

Why are you doing this?
What did I do to deserve this?

It�s her again, isn�t it.
Or maybe it�s just you this time.
I�m not asking.

I want the truth.

You�re fading a little more every day
And there�s nothing I can do
but watch.

I want to help
But I�m afraid I�ll hurt instead.

I gave you my heart in one piece.
Now that it�s shattered you want to give it back?

Don�t run away from me.
It won�t help
And I�ll find you anyway.

You can�t hide from me.

Why won�t you let me in?
You already have my heart
What else is there to give?

You told me that you�re lost
Let me help you find the way back
to me.

for Dr. Deborah Simpkin-King

I met him just last week,
But I don�t know what he looks like.

Does it matter?

Will it make a difference?

To know who and what he is inside without the prejudice of sight,
But will my eyes betray me?

To be truly blind would deprive me of the joy of your smile.
But I can hear it and feel it,
And it makes me feel
    (beautiful)
        happy

Please God, let us see blindly.

Adam�s Mystery

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