(c) 1998. May not be reprinted in any form without written permission from the author.

Feeling a little cramped in there? Got one foot in the mop bucket and a dustpan poking you in the back? Are you so far in the Broom Closet that your familiar is a dust bunny? If you have decided that you want to come out of the Broom Closet but don't know how, here are a few things to consider before you make that leap of Faith.

First, are you over 18? If the answer is no, I strongly suggest waiting. Because you are a minor and are most likely living with one or both parents, it would be best for you to wait. If you are blessed with open-minded, understanding, well-educated parents, you might try discussing it with them. If not... keep your mouth shut until you are older. If this is something you really want and firmly believe is right for you, it is worth the wait. You have your whole life ahead of you. If you can't wait a few years, then maybe you are just jumping on the bandwagon; Wicca isn't for you.

Next question: Are you at college? Beware of cults that prey on the lonely freshman. Yes, it really does happen, and it CAN happen to you. Make sure you know what path you are on. Did someone approach you and invite you to join their group? Legitimate pagans don't operate that way. We wait for you to come to us. Be wary of people calling themselves pagan or Wiccan who actively recruit new members.

If you have a Pagan Youth Group on campus, check it out. Chances are it's just a bunch of kids like yourself getting together to talk about similar interests (this is a good thing). Keep in mind that the legit groups will be registered with the campus and not holed up in a dorm room meeting secretly. Meet with a few members before joining a group. Some things to watch out for - they don't want you to tell your parents about the group; they don't want you to have friends outside the group; they want lots of money from you (some groups may need to charge dues to keep going - just watch out for those who want mosst or all of your spending cash).

Still want to step out of that closet? It will be one of the most difficult things you will ever do. If you can, talk to a friend who has come out, either pagan or gay. The experience is similar. Your family will express shock and disbelief, and some of your friends will avoid you. Of course, those friends weren't really friends in the first place. The best place to start is with someone very close to you, such as a best friend, brother or sister. Be prepared to answer a lot of questions. If you haven't already, pick up a few books on Wicca and read over them. You might also want to have a copy of The Truth About Witchcraft Today on hand to leave with whomever you are telling. You must also be prepared to defend your choice of religion. If you don't know why you chose Wicca, or aren't prepared to defend your choice, you aren't ready to Come Out.

My own experience has been varied. My dad is a very open- minded individual and accepted the fact that I was an adult and wouldn't step into something without knowing everything I could. My mother flipped out and wanted to send me to a psychiatrist. Every chance she gets, she pushes Christianity at me, and my aunt thumps her Bible at me. I accept that they choose not to understand and do not push Wicca or anything pagan at them. I just let their remarks slide over me. I don't respond to them unless they ask me a direct question. I ignore everything else. Most of my friends are either pagan, pagan-friendly, or pagan-curious. I also have many friends who are Christian, yet have no problems with my religion. Some of them even ask me questions about how we celebrate Sabbats and can they watch. You may be surprised at how many positive reactions you get, from unexpected people, but be prepared for veiled insults as well as the proverbial slap in the face.

Now that we have the warnings out of the way, and you are still determined to get the heck out of that closet, let's discuss the basics: Who, What, Why, Where, When, How.

The 'Who' is easy - just you and your parents. If you originally told a sibling, feel free to have him or her there, but don�t invite anyone else. This is a private matter and should be taken very seriously. The 'What' is also easy - Coming out of that Broom Closet. Why? Make sure you know why you are doing this. If you are doing this for shock value, you might want to consider one of those cults I mentioned earlier. If you want to be able to openly celebrate the Sabbats, and the Lord and Lady, then proceed. Make a list of the points you want to discuss so you don't forget the important stuff.

Where? Someplace private. Your house or apartment is the best place. Second choice would be their house. (This assumes you�re not still living with them, of course.) DO NOT invite them out to dinner in a public restaurant unless you want a scene (and as I mentioned earlier, if you want a scene, cults are much more effective).

When? I would suggest a Friday or Saturday evening. This will give them the weekend to think things over and won't disrupt a workday. Remember, this WILL occupy their minds for at least a few days.

How? You know your parents best. Plan this for them, not for you. Try to explain things in terms that won�t frighten or upset them. Be patient with them, tell them you love them, and be honest.

After you have told your parents, you might want to tell others: friends, other family members, employers, teachers. Choose wisely when telling others. If your friends are truly friends, they will accept you for who you are, not what you are. If they choose to disassociate themselves from you, then you deserve better. Find friends who love you for who you are. Your extended family should also accept you for who you are. They may try to 'convert' you, just be firm and remind them that it is your choice, not theirs. They may also tell you that you are making a mistake; let them know that you are willing to make that mistake yourself, and will gladly 'suffer the consequences' of your actions.

If you decide to tell your employer, be prepared for anything. I am of the opinion that it really isn't any of his or her business. There are those who would argue otherwise. These are usually persons who wish to have holidays off to celebrate. If Jewish people are able to have their holidays off, I see no reason we shouldn't have our Sabbats off and wouldn't argue with someone who wanted them. I also don't like being forced to take off holidays that I don't celebrate. Despite these thoughts, I still don't feel like I have to tell my boss WHY I want those days off beyond the fact that it is a religious holiday. (For that matter, I can celebrate in the evening, or the weekend before or after a Sabbat. That is one of the great things about being pagan: I don't HAVE to go to church every Sunday. I don't have to tithe ten percent to the church - not God, the church. Who do YOU think is paying for Father What's-his-Name's new car?. Every day is sacred to me.) But until Pagans are no longer persecuted for choosing their religion, I'm not going to risk my job. It's a fact, people. Unless you work for one hell of an understanding boss or in a New Age/Pagan store, they will find a way to fire you. If you still feel that this is something you must do, then by all means - do it. If you are lucky, things will work out for you. Don't be surprised if they don't.

Another issue to keep in mind is the effect your choice may have on children. If you have kids, beware of overzealous parents trying to take them away. If you watch or read the news, you know what I'm talking about. People sue for custody of children and WIN because of a pagan (ex-)spouse, or the (non-pagan) parents of a pagan may be given custody of their grandchildren. Imagine having your parents claim you are an unfit mother because of your religion. There have even been cases where children were taken away by the state and placed in foster care because their parents� religion was "unsuitable". They will go to any lengths to take your kids. Unfortunately, all this will happen with circumstantial evidence. Witnesses can lie through their teeth and won't be questioned because they are "good Christian people." You, on the other hand, can produce reams of evidence, hard evidence, and won't be believed because you are a pagan heathen.

If you want to wear jewelry proclaiming your pagan status, don't go overboard. If you work in a professional capacity, PLEASE dress conservatively. Suddenly showing up in flowing robes with pentacles dripping from every limb is the fastest way to meet the men with the pretty white jackets and shiny buckles. Keep your private and professional lives separate. Wear a small pentacle or ankh as a necklace, earrings, or other small symbol if you feel you must, but keep it simple and unobtrusive.

One last thought. If you choose to tell a casual acquaintance, be prepared for the brush-off. They don't see you often enough to need to worry about their crazy Witch friend. They will just drift away. This will, of course, make way for new friends who care about you. On the other hand, you may attract new acquaintances who are eagerly curious about your "weird occult practices". Some of these may turn out to be genuinely interested, but I�ll bet most of them are just thrill-seekers.

If this all sounds a bit somber, it is; but there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. You'll get rid of that excess baggage - those 'friends' who weren't really friends. You'll also find that new friends are pagan or pagan-friendly. I've found that pagans attract each other - must be something in our auras.

I encourage you to think this through. You have much to lose, but you also have much to gain. I've been lucky so far, but I've also chosen wisely. May your choices, and your experiences, be just as positive.