they keep taunting me. the voice, it questions me and mocks me for what i em. it doesn't know though, it doesn't know what i have done in the past. but then again it does. it reminds me of that girl....i want to stop thinking about her but i can't. it gets getting worse. ever sence i desided to help. to try and redem myself. the voice has gotten louder. it tares away at the part of my body were my soul was. it keep reminding me, or all the things i have done. it shows me them over and voer again. i meet the girl...Raven, yes that is her name. i em supposed to protect her. i don't know why... but i em. i need to. "He" tells me to. i can not show myself to her father. though he never saw me as a human he will remember my scent. or my voice. i'm not sure. i have to get advise. Laric i wish you were still here...but your not....
August-19-03
The wind sways, a war is coming, i can feel it in every fiber of my being. most likely silverfang is also feeling this. he's not old enough to reconize wht it means. but i was thier when the tribes fought for the first time. i stayed by my friend. i don't know if he's dead or not. i wish i did. the voice mocks and says he is rotting in prision. i can not belive that. Laric was too good, he was pure of heart. for a shadow lord, he was a saint. i have to find him, if i do he will help me protect the earth gaurdian child. my grand daughter by the Moon. i can't tell her though...but what if i did. would she exsept me and not tell her father. no she would tell him, and he would come for blood. but why do i care if a child exsepts me in to her life. the voice mocks and says because i em lonely. i was never lonely, i em alone but not lonely...
August-20-03
it shall be soon, the long and unforgettable war. were all will have to fight. even the mortals. it shall be fun to watch, i have not seen a war in a long time. the blood shed the screams the cries of war. oh how i long for it. but what side shall i be on, i must protect that Earth Gaurdian, Raven, or i wont come out right in the end...if i do come out at all. i'm hoping i will die in this battle, i should of been with you Laric. when you fought agenst my people. i would of been right at your side...but i wasn't. i was stupid and rash and i left. i could of been more help to you that way.....
August-21-03
my temper is shorter these days, i can't beilve what i see in the human world. hate, killing, children hungry. it disturbs me, just to watch the news. i can't get my mind straight, i was right a long time ago and i still em. the humans should be surving us, and not us running in fear of them. we have more numbers, we should take back what is ours. Laric was with me on this, i don't even know if he still lives. i had heard he did from the council. and that boy saw me, Damadar Wolff, yes he knows what i look like in my human form. i can't let him tell Raven or SilverFang. sometimes, i feel something for killing that girl when i turned SilverFang, but i take it as nothing.
August-29-03
it shall come soon, when the rest shall be told. and i know who shall tell it. me of course. i know it Laric told it to me once. the rest of the prophecy...were i play in. i should wright it down just in case.
" Following close in battle is the storm dragon, who shall help the one of both good and evil. and then her protector the one who moves shadows."
i didn't know it then, but it is me. i'm the one who moves shadows, and that girl is who i must protect with my very life. not a big thing make that. i would prefer to die with honor then anything else.
August-31-03
still nothing is coming yet, i wait for the battle, and my chance to have honour. once and for all. though i can't help but think of Raven how much she looked like Lana. the same eyes even, it was strange, she looked like a younger Lana. oh Lana how you should of seen her. you would of been happy to know she was happy. but mad at the thought of me as her protector. how i think of you Lana, you were nice for a human. though you had to die, they all die everything dies...exsept for me, unless i do get killed i will stay forever.
september-3-03
the girl doesn't know how i know her, and how i know the person who looks like her. Lana, sometimes i wish you were here, but other times i don't for i know, i would have a weakness if you were alive...same with silverfang, your son. he would protect you...from me. he doesn't even know does he, he doesn't know how i know you. i remember that day when we meet, you were with your Thomas, and silverfang was not born yet. you saw the fact i was injured. and you helped me...not knowing that i was dangerous. but then you died, i watched your funeral from affar and i remember your silverfang crying, yes he was crying for you. i wonder will i have anyone cry for me, when i die. most likely not, no one cares anymore. though i don't want thier pity. i jsut want to be left alone...but i still do miss you....
Nov-23-03
it's been so long sence, i looked apon her, i wish i could of had a sketch of her, and all her innocnece. i would keep it close to me. i should go back to england, and see if i can find something of her. my sweet innocnet one. i remember how she cried once, because i was in pain...no one had ever cried for me before....it felt good. i had never felt like that, i wish i could more often. if it works, i can have her back. only for a second, as i die, but too see her again would be enough. If Lana is right, next red moon, i will have my love back.
Dec-7-03
I have figured it out. Why was it away from me for so long, i am not sure. she is the one who has my innocent one's soul trapped in her. the young Earth Gaurdian, by the moon she is my Grand daughter, but she would mean nothing. i would kill her myself only to see my love again. I have caused to much pain in my life time. i hope...that my soul will be trapped on this earth just as Rose's had been. maybe i will become like Lana...what is it again....yes Essence. maybe....if my plans work out. i will give life, and then die. oh...how i long for death. but i shant die now. not until the blood moon blossems.