| Disclaimer: Ronin Warriors is not mine, and somebody, somewhere owns it. Take a guess as to who, 'cuz I don't know. _______________________________________________________ Part Seven: You Haven't Seen the Last of-! by Ami-chan The volcano bubbled happily, content. It's warmth radiated from miles away as it churned and rumbled it's song. It was such a lovely day! How could it possibly be ruined? From the burning depths a floating something broke through the ash and smoke. Slowly, steadily, it rose, the smoke twirling about it, angry at being disturbed. Soon, a head became visible. A duck head. It rotated slowly, as if surveying the area. Then, it paused, as if waiting. A slight crumbling sound made the duck head on the cane glance down. Cursing also rose up with the slight noise from somewhere inside the volcano. The muffled growls and hisses echoed hollowly to the duck head's unhearing ears. Scraps and the falling of coarse rocking alerted it of something crawling up the steep sides of the volcano. It wasn't alone. Eventually, a hand came into sight, followed by a very battered and weary figure. The person was covered in ashes and dust, the edges of her outfit was singed and smoking. "Cursed little wretch! How dare she!" she growled. Another hand lashed out and dug into the rock surface, and pulled the body higher up as another hand repeated the tiresome process. "She'll pay! They'll all pay!!" She smiled as she realized she had made it to the top at long last. "Just a little further." She cackled wickedly. "You haven't seen the last of-" she said as she reached out and grasped the ledge, which suddenly gave way under her fingers and sent her hurtling back down into the volcano, screaming. The duck head seemed to flinch as it heard the loud crack of what was obviously the old woman colliding with an outcropping in the volcano. It flew back in for a closer look as the now barely visible figure resumed her climb. More growling and cursing followed as she dragged herself up more quickly this time. She would not be humiliated in his way! "Okay! Let's try this again! You haven't seen the last of-" The duck head cane suddenly fell, clunking the old woman on the head. With a pained yelp, she let go of the ledge and plummeted again like a rock. "Bob, you stupid duck head!!" Bob the duck head quickly righted itself and hovered back up, once again waiting. It's mistress appeared again, more battered then before, and definitely more angry. Had it done something wrong? Worming her way carefully over the cliff ledge, she called her little old rocking chair to her, and grabbed her cane roughly. She wasn't taking anymore chances with Bob the duck head. She levitated the rocking chair higher and higher into the sky. She wasn't planning on falling into that damn volcano again. There was no way she was going to be that stupid! "Nothing will stop me this time! For, you haven't seen the last of-" Quite unfortunely she had gone up too high, and was at that moment hit by a low flying jet plane. Opps. The poor old woman tried to peel herself from the front of the jet, but it was useless. It was going too fast, and she was still weak from the tideous climb. So, she needed to use something else. Something like . . .- She smacked the jet's nose with Bob the duck head, and sent it veering off course and into a near-by ocean. The passengers all screamed, but there was no chance to escape. Darn. "Stupid, frickin' planes," she growled, lowering her rocking chair as to avoid anymore jet planes. "You have NOT seen the last of-" A little birdie decided to fly by at that point, and it just couldn't seem to hold it any longer . . .PLOP! Bird crap, right in her eye! She howled in rage, the vein in her forehead throbbing. "That's it!!" The little birdie was fired, as was everything else within a twenty mile radius. "You haven't seen the last of Crazy Old Gretchen!!" The Earth trembled and shook from her rage, foretelling disaster to come. But, at least, Crazy Old Gretchen had learned a lesson. It was this: when making speeches, it was best to make them in a dead-zone. That way, there's no possible way you can get interrupted. ********** I sighed in boredom. No more fun. No more cute millennium-old once two-legged mage/dog to drool over. What was I to do? Yawning, I leaned back against the oak tree I was currently vegetating under. What a drag. No world to save today. Damn. And I still missed Milo - the dog, or the mage, I wasn't sure which. I was about to be lost in some day-dream of me - the lovely, intelligent beauty that I am - finding my handsome prince, when I felt something crawling up my leg. I looked down, and frowned. What the hell? "EWWW! An icky little snail!" I moved to flick it from my leg, wanting to ground the detestable thing into dust. "I am NOT a snail," it hissed, indignant. I stopped in mid-motion. I wouldn't kill it . . .yet. "You aren't?" I'd seem enough oddities that a talking snail didn't surprise me greatly. "No! I'm a gecko!" "Oh." I blinked. Gecko? "What's the difference?" "I don't secrete slime from my skin in a trail people can follow! Plus, I don't have a damn shell!!" "Oh." I blinked, again. "What's the difference?" I was confused! Secrete? Slime? Shell?! It groaned. "Never mind. I am Squibby the Holy Gecko, and-" "Holy? Why are you holy, snail?" "Gecko! And, I'm holy because I'm full of holes, you twit! Now, shut up and-!" "There's no need to be rude." I shook my head. "What a mean little snail." "Gecko!!! I'm a GECKO!! G-E-C-K-O!" The snail cleared his throat, still glaring evilly at me. "As I said, I am Squibby the Holy Gecko, and I am here to guide-" "Guide what?" "AHHH!! Let's me finish!" "Why are you holy, again?" "SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!!" "Your not a very nice snail, are you?" His eyes narrowed in annoyance. Then, he growled, "Ah, screw it! Fine! I'm a snail!" "Okay, snail." The snail sighed. "That was supposed to be reverse psychology." "Sai-co-gy?" I asked, even more confused. Wasn't Sai from that one show? Ronin Warriors? My head was starting to hurt. Big words! Big words confusing. "Just . . .never mind. You wouldn't understand." The snail shook his head, standing on his back legs in my hand, and placing his little front leg against his temple. "I am here to guide you to the Mystical Realm." I blinked. "Mystical Realm . . .I've heard that somewhere . . ." "Where the Earth's Protector lives?" "Huh?" "MILO!" "Oh! Milo!" I purred. "I wanna see Milo! He's so cute!" The snail grumbled something along the lines of, "Stupid bitch," and so, I flicked him off my hand and into a big rock not far away. "Stupid snail." Did he think I wouldn't hear him? I knew what THAT meant! "I don't get paid enough for this job," he said from his mangled upside down position, arms out flung, head lolled to one side. "Take me to see Milo, now, you icky little snail!!" "Fine," he grumbled. "Just pick up my broken little body and I'll take you there." "'Kay!" I chirped, picking him up and squeezing him tightly. I was so happy! I was gonna see my darling Milo! "Agh . . .honey, snail needs to breathe." "No, you don't," I told him seriously. He could damn well breathe when we got there! "Can't breathe, no see Milo," he gasped. My grip loosened, tears forming in my eyes. "Wanna see Milo!" I whined. "Wanna breathe!" he mimicked, and I almost choked him again, but I remember his threat in time. "Take me to my Milo!" "Yours? Ha! In your dreams!" "Damn straight!" I stomped my foot, and suddenly, I was somewhere else. What the hell? I started to scream hysterically! Where was I? What the hell was happening?! "Hush, Iye. It's okay." Huh? "Milo!" I beamed, screams ceasing, as I dropped the snail and ran toward him, stopping short of plowing into him. I had just realized what he said, so I asked, "'I'?" "Yes, Iye. Your name." "Oh . . .I thought you said, 'I'." "Iye, they sound exactly the same." "Exactly!" I giggled. I loved my name, though sometimes it got me confused. The mangled little snail wobbled to his feet, and saluted as if he was drunk. "Squibby the Holy Snail, reporting for duty, almighty Protector of the Earth." Milo stared. "But Squibby, your a gecko." "Tell that to Iye," he said, listlessly point at me. "She says I'm a snail. So, I'm a snail!" Squibby began to giggle uncontrollably until his little body began to contort into shapes on the floor, his body trembling wildly. "A snail! A snail!" he chanted, curling his little hands around his tail. "Snail's have tails!!" He giggled as if he'd told a wonderful joke. "Squibby, maybe you'd better go lie down," Milo suggested, rather concerned for his messenger's sanity. "Good, good. Lie down, good." He nodded his head rapidly, eyes flitting around the room. "The walls . . .the walls have ears, you know . . .and eyes . . .and toes . . .and TAILS!!" "Squibby . . .maybe you need a vacation . . ." Squibby giggled insanely, clutching his tail and dancing about the room. "A really LONG vacation." I stared at the little creature, shaking my head. "Hn. Geckos." Squibby's eyes snapped to me, an anguished scream tearing from his throat. "Now!! NOW you get it right!!" He darted from the room and disappeared from sight, his scream echoing back to us from several minutes. "What an odd little gecko," I noted quietly, tapping the side of my face thoughtfully. "I don't understand. He's normally quite sane. A little edgy, maybe. But . . ." I shrugged, unconcerned. "It happens to the best of us a times. He'll get over it." "Anyway, Iye, there's something I wanted to tell you." "Yes?" I chirped, anticipating the response: "I'm madly in love with you." Or, "I can't live without you." Or, "I want to stay with me . . ." "It's about Crazy Old Gretchen." I frowned. "Oh?" Ah, damn. Why her? Why now?! "She's back." "Yeah, so?" I glared at him. I thought he'd wanted to say something else! This conversation was getting boring, fast. I didn't see what this had to do with him and me!! "You must take care of her again before she can cause anymore trouble." "I don't wanna!" I whined. Now that I was with Milo again, I didn't want to leave him! Couldn't someone else kill her? "You have to! For the sake of all humanity!" I shook my head. "I'm tired. Don't wanna." That damn snail had interrupted my nap! I yawned, and wrapped myself around Milo, and closed my eyes. Warm. He was so warm...alive...comforting. "'Sides, I saved it once already. Isn't that enough? I mean, we aren't worth the effort, really." "Iye, please! Don't say that! That's not true!" I opened one sleepy eye and looked up at him. "It isn't? Come! Look at us! Corrupt, greedy little beggars, aren't we?" "What about you?" "What about me?" "Don't you want to live?" "Not particularly. I mean, it's not on my to-do-list or anything, but it wouldn't bother me much." "Oh, Iye." His soft, sad tone caught my attention, and I glanced up at him. "Sweet Iye, there's so much to live for. You have to help me. Help us!" "Milo . . .there's only one way I'd even consider it." "And what's that?" "You must promise me something." "What?" "Let me stay with you, here. I don't want to leave you." I shifted slightly, tightening my grip. "I want you to be mine." "Iye . . .you wouldn't like it here. You wouldn't have your friends, and your family, and you have a life on Earth. Plus, my role as Protector keeps me very busy. I wouldn't have time-" "I know," I chirped, eyes wide. I didn't care, either. Just to be near him, be with him, that was enough. "I can't. I'm sorry. I can't promise you that. Iye, I have the well-being of the Earth to consider. You don't know what your asking." "I do know!" I protested. Nothing else mattered! Milo was everything to me! He bowed his head, refusing to meet my persistent gaze. "I can't," he repeated. My body went numb, and my arms dropped back to my sides. "I understand. You don't love me. You don't even like me." "Iye, no. It's-" "No, don't!! Please, don't!" I wailed. "I hate excuses!" I turned and fled, oblivious to him calling after me. My dreams, my heart, my mind were shattered in that instant. It mattered, but I didn't matter to him. I ran past Squibby the Holy Snail walking drunkly through the hall. He was singing some bar song quietly, and muttering other nonsense. I scooped him up. I'd need him. "Squibby! Squibby!" He blinked his wide eyes. "Yeah?" "Take me to see Crazy Old Gretchen" My eyes narrowed to blazing slits. "I've got a score to settle with that old bitch." _______________________________________________________ Note: I created the character Squibby before all of those telephone commercials with the gecko; Squibby was inspired by a beaded gecko I made for my VBS class. ^-^ Well, you didn't actually think I was going to give "I" a REAL name, did you? I would have called her "Aye", but that's too Star Trekish, and "Iye" looks better anyway! Hmm . . .at least, I don't think "Iye" is a name . . .but there are many things I don't know . . .I should have just called her "Eye" and solved the whole debate! Oh, there's probably a lot of spelling mistakes in here because I wrote it on really short notice, and I have to end this now because I have to leave in like three seconds! SO, e-mail me at [email protected] and make me real happy! |