Old Competition Winners
Third Place:
Third Place:
Honorable Mention:
Honorable Mentions:
March - June 2001:
Honorable Mentions:
Daniel: Oh s**t Chris, not again!
Ben: Me and Chris finally got Dan to drink as much beer as us!!!!"
Third Place:
"Ben is high-fiving some kid because he just got Chris to pose naked for 10 dollars in a picture that he will sell on e-bay for 10,000 dollars. Daniel is just
kinda sitting there thinking "How stupid, people would much rather see me naked than Chris!"
Second Place:
"Ben just scored with Natalie Imbruglia, and Daniel is denying the whole thing!"
First Place:
Ben: Hell yeah! We just won the Silverchair Stuff
Competition!
Honorable Mention:
Chris, afraid that the band might end up in the tabloids, desperately tried to break up Ben and Daniel. He faked a smile at the camera as he pleaded with them, "Ben! Daniel! Please not here, mates!"
Third Place:
Honorable Mentions:
BEN: Daniel, please tell me you didn't drink that litre of buzz cola.
The Nailscissors of doom.- sorry this is so crap...
Honorable Mention:
Honorable Mention: The night before a concert, Daniel and his good buddies Ben and Chris, were out heavily partying in Las Vegas. The next thing Daniel knows he's waking up with this HUGE headache. March - April 2000
Honorable Mentions:
Honorable Mentions:
Yeah...like I said. This is where I put the winners of previous competitions. Read on...they're quite funny.
April 2002-May 2003 (sorry for the delay!):

xXGooberGXx:
After millions of album sales and millions of dollars made, Daniel still can't find anything better to screw than his beloved guitar...
Second Place:
KelNino:
"Dammit, Ben, look at the sky. Have you ever really looked at it? Look at the clouds...hey! There's a guitar! Doesn't that cloud look like a guitar? Yes, it's a guitar all right. That's a guitar or my wife isn't Sweep...Wait a damn second...That's not the sky! Okay, who's the wise guy who put a ceiling there? For gosh sakes, who'd want to put a ceiling there like that? Oh God...maybe I should have taken fewer pills for that arthritis...
First Place:
Prosoul:
A second in the mind of Daniel Johns:
"Playing some guitar lying down...I know it's a rock and roll cliche but GOD I'm cool! This is gonna be one hell of a show! I think I might just not get up at all! On the other hand, I'm
kind of sending a message that I'm not really enjoying myself...that I'm bored and tired! God...those people must feel rejected by me...I'm such an a**hole! I'm going to get up again. No, WAIT! That'll be too obvious. Can't let them know I'm getting up for them. Who's the rock star here? Those f***ers! Who do they think they are? They should never forget that without me there'd be no show at all! Then again, I should feel privileged. I owe all my rock and roll stardom to them...I mean, they're the ones buying the CD's, which by the way never have a constant factor due to my changing musical styles all the time and all. Why do these people make me feel so small? I am a person too! ...Oh my God there's a camera! S**T! Stay cool, stay cool. What the f*** am I going to do now? I'm not getting up NOW! Oh God...I'm such a freak! Hey...that inspires me...good stuff for a song...No, wait, done that already. Is that camera still there? Damn! Get lost! He's got me right in the groin...this is not going to be flattering...Take that picture already!
January-March 2002:

prosoul:
This picture was taken right after Dan told Ben to pull over so
that he could make a move on a girl passing by. At the moment of this
picture Dan is giving her his best line and look whilst Ben is holding
his breath and thinking, "This girl brushes her teeth as often as Dan
washes his hair!" Chris just thinks it's cool to get his picture taken.
Second Place:
xXGooberGXx:
The boys are just getting back from a Weezer concert. Daniel
and Chris both got special souvenirs from the band...but poor Ben
didn't get anything.
Daniel: Chris, I bloody love that sweater Rivers gave you...it brings
out your haircut!
Chris: Likewise, Dannyboy, those glasses are the perfect addition to
your collection. I say you should wear them for our next photo shoot!
Ben: *thinking* What makes those two so special...why doesn't Rivers
love *me*? Hmm...maybe if I sell my hair...
And so, the REAL reason Ben cut his hair was to win money to purchase
various Weezer merchandise to say that he too is loved by Rivers Cuomo!
First Place:
Kel Nino:
Perhaps it was Chris' innocent "cardigan-over-the-shoulders"
look or maybe Daniel's glasses gave him the straight-A schoolgirl
image. Others believe it was Ben's frightened puppy gaze and his tousled
locks that won security guards over. In any case, silverchair was famous
in the groupie world and always scored backstage passes to meet the
sexiest, most infamous rock stars.
August-December 2001:

Jaded Angel:
Ben's upset cause Daniel and Chris have decided they're getting
married and he's still sore after the divorce (from Daniel).
Third Place:
Shana (IM me at Wack4Zac):
Daniel: "Chris, stop pinching my arse."
Chris: "But it's so much fun!"
Daniel: "I'm serious...stop!"
Chris: "Fine. You're not my friend anyway."
Ben: "Nobody ever pinches my arse. Nobody loves me. Can I please have a
date?!"
Daniel and Chris: "Shut up, Ben!"
Second Place:
Lindsay:
Daniel: Hey guys, look! There's two chicks making out over
there!
Ben: Where? Let me see!
Chris: No, you guys, that's just Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.
Ben: Damn!
Daniel: Ah, same s**t, different pile.
First Place:
Jessabell23:
The boys are watching their first Placebo video.
Dan: What the hell is that?
Ben: I can't see it, what is it?
Dan: That's what I'm trying to figure out...
Chris: You guys, it's-
Dan: Quiet, you! I need to concentrate!
Chris: But I know-
Ben: Hush! Uhh...I still can't see it!
Dan: Is it a girl or a guy?
Ben: Oh! That! Haha. I think it's a girl.
Dan: But, listen to it!
Ben: She's just got a weird voice for a girl.
Chris: It's a-
Ben: Shut up! We're thinking!
Dan: Yeah, it's a girl.
Ben: Totally...actually, she's kinda hot!
Chris: Dude, that's Brian Molko!
June-July 2001:

A Gillies Girl from Canada:
Daniel is in deep thought right now: Wow, Ben's hair is sooo
shiny and silky, I wonder if he'd mind if I...
Ben: Oh s**t, he's giving me that look again, is there something on
my face? No, wait, that is definitely a seductive look! What the hell
am I supposed to do? What if he asks me to put my hand down his pants
again? Okay, okay, wait, Ben, it's gonna be okay, just think back to the last
time this happened. Where exactly did Chris put the sedatives?
Daniel: Ohhh, baby, he smells sooo goood, I think it's Herbal
Essences...
Chris: S**t, not again! Daniel's having another one of his "organic
experiences!" We're all gonna die!
Dani57:
Daniel: (to Chris) "Hey, mate, you're right! From this angle I *can* see
out the window through Gillies' head!"
Chris: (to Daniel) "Told ya!"
Third Place:
KelNino, devoted Fantastic Fashions watcher:
SILVERCHAIR: FANTASTIC FASHIONS
Chris: "Hello, viewers. Welcome to our show, Fantastic Fashions! Today
we have special guest, Ben Gillies from Cosmo magazine, and my
fashion-friendly TV sidekick, Daniel Johns.
Daniel: "Thank you, Chris! So Ben, has anyone ever told you what a
gorgeous man you are? What's your secret?"
Ben: "Well, (turning to camera), I like to look my best. I always dress
impecably, preferably in a designer cotton Billabong t-shirt. I've also
found that Max Factor volumizing mascara accentuates my eyes nicely.
You know it volumizes my already lush lashes by 200%?"
Daniel: "Why, that's amazing! You have the sexiest eyes, Ben."
Ben: "I know."
Second Place:
Shana:
Daniel: "Ninety-five bottles of beer left for Ben, ninety-five
bottles of beer, give him a cup, don't let him throw up, ninety-four
bottles of beer left for Ben."
Chris: "Ninety-four bottles of beer left for Ben, ninety-four bottles
of beer, give him a cup, don't let him throw up, ninety-three bottles of
beer left for Ben."
Ben: "I think I'm gonna spew."
Chris: "But you've only had six bottles..."
Daniel: "Come on, mate, let us finish the song."
(half an hour later)
Daniel: "Two bottles of beer left for Ben, two bottles of beer, give
him a cup, don't let him throw up, one bottle of beer left for Ben."
Chris: "One bottle of beer left for Ben, one bottle of beer, give him a
cup, don't let him throw up, no bottles of beer left for Ben."
Daniel and Chris together: "NO BOTTLES OF BEER LEFT FOR BEN, NO BOTTLES
OF BEER, GIVE HIM A..."
Ben: *barrrrrrrrrrf*
First Place:
Jessabell23:
Ben: I hope the car stops soon...I feel sick.
Dan: (laughing) Dude, the car stopped like 5 minutes ago!
Ben: Daniel, you are so dumb. Where are we then?
Dan: Uhh...(giggles) a parking lot.
Chris: Guys! We better, like, hide! That person standing there just gave
me this look!
Dan: Haha, you are so paranoid!
Chris: No, I mean it. They're like planning to kill us or something!
Ben: Shut up! Seriously, you are giving me such a headache. My head is
killing me.
Dan: Really? It's killing me! (uncontrollable laughing at his own joke)
Chris: I think Dan's gonna explode or something...dammit! That
person is still looking at me!
Ben: Shut up you wanker! I'm gonna spew on you if you don't shut up!
Dan: (still laughing)
Ben: I need some air...It won't open!
Chris: (tries opening his door) Mine won't open either! We're trapped!
I knew it! Thats person looked us in! (Flips off the bystander)
Dan: You know what a cool word is?...Nippy! Ha ha. It like, sounds like
nipple, but it's not! It's nippy!
Ben: (Stares at Dan) Oh you are so dumb!
Chris: I can't find my nipples!
Ben: How many times do I have to tell you to shut up!
Chris: That damn person is still staring at me!
Ben: Both of you shut up!
(Silence)
Dan: Nippy!
Chris: Okay...now I think im scared (Huddles in the back of the car)
Ben: I can't believe I'm stuck in here with you guys!
Dan: Ben, I love you!
Ben: @#%$ off, Danny!
Dan: No, I mean it. I wouldn't be anywhere without you! (goes in for a
hug)
Ben: Dude! Stop being gay. Get off of me.
Dan: I knew it. You hate me!
Ben: (thinks) No, I don't hate you...uhh...I guess I love you too!
Chris: (pops up from the back) Man, I love both you guys!
Ben: Didn't I tell you to shut up?!
(Another silence)
Chris: That person is still there!
Ben: Jeez! Just shut up for once!
(Someone opens the door)
Watson: Are you guys gonna come in or what?
Chris: (springing up from the back holding onto Watson) Thank God you
came! We could have been trapped here forever! How did you free us?
Watson: Uh, it's called the unlock button.
Chris: Genius!
Ben: Get me out of here, I'm going to be sick!
Watson: Damn, you guys have been smoking weed again! Your mothers are
going to kill me...Come on, get upstairs...maybe I can make you look somewhat normal before the interview.
(They start to walk to the hotel)
Chris: That person is still there!
Dan: Nippy!

Cooper:
Chris: He he, sorry Daniel, I just couldn't hold on any longer!
Ben: Yeah!! Nice one Joannou, that was a ripper!
Trin:
Dan: Not..feeling...so...good...
suicidal_dream:
silverychairs:
*Kelnino:
Daniel: Yes...I'd like to thank my mum and dad and animal liberation and my hairdresser and my family doctor and my friends at eleven, but most of all I'd like to thank my dear Sweep for her relentless love and affection and...
Ben: "Time for celebration! Beer 'round the table - on me! Raaah!"
*The March-June competition had a record 35 entries...8 of which were Kelnino's! Some of them are too funny not to put up, so click here to see them.
January - March 2001:

KelNino:
Daniel however, ignored him as he spoke cheerfully to Ben. "Ben, good fellow. There's no need to blush."
"I'm not blushing. I'm just so happy that you and I-"
"Please! Come on!" Chris begged. "What if this ends up on the cover of some terrible magazine! We'd be in heaps of trouble!"
Daniel turned to Chris and patiently said, "Chris, there is nothing wrong with people holding hands. No disrespect to you, but I think you're just jealous."
albinobunny:
Ben: Don't you see them, guys? Don't you see the flying monkeys with black wings and gold elf shoes? Huh, huh?
Chris and Daniel: Right, Ben, flying monkeys. Before we go on tour again, we need to get you some help.
Second Place:
*antoinette*:
Daniel: Chris, stop squeezing my butt! We're in public!"
Ben: Dude! Stop, it's really starting to hurt me!
Chris: Squishy squishy!!!
First Place:
Nikki:
silverchair were walking along, Johnsy has Sweep with him, they run into an unsuspecting Britney Spears, Sweep chases her into the middle of the intersection, and then Brit gets hit by a semi. Sweep proudly trots back to Johnsy and the guys. (Webmaster's note: That *would* explain the hysterical expressions, wouldn't it? *lol*)
September - December 2000:

SilverMelinda:
Daniel: Uh, Ben, why is this water yellow?"
(Giggles from Chris)
Ben: Because it's magical fairy water Daniel! If you drink it you can fly! No glitter dust needed! Just drink it!
melktart:
Dannyboy is convinced that Ben and Chris have put some fish oils in his water. He just knows it. He has to make sure that the water is 100% vegan, so he's inspecting it. Chris is about to bite his nails,
and Ben's just sitting there thinking, "Ohhhhh s**t....he knows!" he he he.
Third Place:
jupiterspice:
DANIEL: Yah so what if I did? So what, Ben? Are you my mummy or something?
BEN: What does it say on the back of that bottle? Hmmm? WHAT?
DANIEL: ..."do not drink if under 125 pounds...do not drink ESPECIALLY if under 125 pounds, blond and charmingly disturbed..." Umm, yes...well...umm...I didn't see that before...
CHRIS: Oh well just shake it off then--you'll be fine! (to self) How can I use this situation to my advantage?
Second Place:
Silvrchairgrl420:
It would seem that Daniel is reciting the lines from
Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" to a plasic bottle or something.
First Place:
VeGo:
Daniel: "Let's see...1% water...4%fruit juice..and 95%
Alcohol...Perfect....Ben, You do the honours..."
Ben: "Right-O!"(Pip from South Park)
Chris: "I dont think this is such a good idea..."
Ben: "C'mon Chris, where's you sense of adventure?"
Chris: "Oh Okay..." He takes a sip from the bottle.
Dan: "Hey hey...Leave some for me..."
Soon after, they're aaaalll pissed.
Ben: "HHhhhhhhhhhhheeeeyy...I just had a good idea. I think I should cut my hair..."
Chris has passed out. Daniel goes to find the razor...but there isn't
one, and the closest thing is a pair of nail scissors.
Dan: "This do?"
Ben: "Yyyyyep. Cut away, my friend!"
It takes about an hour for Dan to cut Ben's hair, considering that the scissors are small, and Daniel, even when sober, is a klutz...Once finished, Danny falls face down onto the floor, and Ben had long
been out in the chair. The next morning, Ben wakes up.
Ben: "I have such a f**king headache..."
Then he walks into the bathroom and what he finds staring back at him in the mirror...
Ben: "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Dan:"What? Whatzup Gillies?"
Ben: "My hair...it's GGGOONNEE!"
Gillies's hair is a mess. There are partially cut bits, bald spots...it's gross. Chris walks in.
Chris: "Hahahahaha! Not so good night then Gilly boy?"
Dan: "It was MEEEEEEEEEEE! But I was the last man standing. I win I win I win!"
July - September 2000
This is an exclusive pic...the story is after the winning entries.

KelNino Feo-faragher:
In the midst of the battle agaist Britney, Daniel had to grab Ben to drive him to his cardboard box so Daniel could break the scene in his new pink cape that he left under his bed. However, on the way home,
Ben left Daniel playing in the highway as he went off to shag the hippo formally known as Ozzy. Sorry, Daniel.
(Webmaster's note: This is a bit of an inside joke about The Never Ending Story.)
Third Place:
Amanda#1silverfan:
Ben: "Hey Dan, are there any cars on that side? Dan...DANIEL!!! Okay, c'mon, quit looking at the chicks and help me out!"
Second Place:
broken angel:
"Why can't I drive, Chris?"
"You know the rules, just put that belt on... S**T there's a car coming up the other side of us!"
"It's okay, just laugh - I should be driving!"
"Remember the time in Santa Monica, Daniel?"
"Shut up!"
First Place:
jupiterspice:
An awards show has just ended. Britney Spears has picked up the Best New Video award for "Lucky," or "The Ana's Song Rip-Off From Hell." Daniel waves to her with one hand and smiles, knowing she will be intrigued by a face with no artifical tan. The other hand is getting limbered up to scratch her eyes out.
The *Real* Story:
There is, of course, a real story behind the picture. It was taken in August 1999 by ex-webmaster smash when she met silverchair (in Sydney, I think) prior to a concert. (There were other pictures as well, but they couldn't be found.) She said that first she met Ben, who was "very nice" and posed for pictures. Then she met Chris, and even though she disliked him at the time, she had to admit he was "very nice as well." Chris' girlfriend (also nice) was there and even snapped some pictures of smash and her friends with Ben and Chris. Then, along came Daniel in a car, and he wasn't quite up to signing anything that day, let alone hopping out of the car for a picture. He just wanted to be left alone:
Daniel: I'm sorry, I just can't.
smash: %#$@ you!
Daniel: No, I'm sorry, I can't.
So smash just snapped a picture of Daniel in the car, doing that universal "bug off" wave. And that's the story.
May - July 2000
Hmmm, not too many entries this time. I really should make the next one easier!

Dead Kittie:
They should be ashamed to get 15-16 years olds drunk like that!
Third Place:
[email protected]:
He's thinking, "Mmmmmm, Daniel looks rather tasty today...."
Second Place:
Lisa Kelso Ate Daniel Johns' Balls:
Baby Danny, having been abandoned by his mommy Mrs. Ramone at the age of 3, meets her again, 10 years later, together with her other children, his unknown Sisters from Hell, for Thanks Giving Turkey.
(left to right: Dee Dee Ramone Johns, Debbie Ramone Johns, Tricia Ramone Johns, Teenie Danielle Johns - no Ramone because she's a bastard -, Mommy Ramone, Julia Ramone Johns and Claudia Ramone Johns).
And First Place goes to:
SilverMelinda:
"Man! What happened last night, guys?"
"Don't you remember, Danny? We got married! Elvis was
there and everything! Just like I had always dreamed about!"
Daniel rolls over and sees a tall, dark, and handsome man smiling at him. Startled, Daniel sits up and sees he's lying in a king size bed in a hotel room. Ben, Chris, and many unfamiliar looking people are passed out all over the floor. "BEN! CHRIS!" Daniel shouts. "Guys! Wake up!"
Ben and Chris sleepily sit up looking very groggy. "Do you know what happened last night guys?" Daniel asks with a frightened tone to his voice.
"I told you, man!" the tall, dark, and handsome man lying next to him answers. "We got married! It was so beautiful!"
"That's not what happened! I'd remember something like that!" Daniel snaps back.
"But it did happen! You said 'I do' and then puked all over my shoes! Remember! Then I carried you over the threshold! I think you might have been passed out by then, though."
"This can't be happening to me!" Daniel said. "What time is it?"
"Almost noon! You were sleeping so peacefully I didn't have the heart to wake you." The tall dark and handsome man said.
"NOON!" Daniel, Ben, and Chris all shouted at the same time. "We have to get ready for the show!" Ben yelled sounding frightened. "Quick! Everyone out! We have to get ready!" Daniel, Ben, and Chris run around throwing clothes on.
"Quick! Quick! Out!" Daniel shouts as him, Ben, and Chris push the tall, dark, and handsome man, and all of the other strange men out of the room. They get down to the lobby and Daniel's Mum runs up. "Honey! Hold still for a second! I didn't get any wedding pictures last night!" *Click* And that's where this picture comes from.
Well, kiddies, I certainly got some...*interesting* entries this time. And I've got to hand it to you guys, only half of the entries I got were dirty in any way!
What is the story behind this picture? 
Star:
[hehehehe] All three in a sing-song fashion: "Three little
monkeys jumping on a bed, one fell off and bumped his head, momma called the
doctor and the doctor said, "I'm sorry Chris, but you lose again!!"
[chris]: Awww no fair! Daniel and Ben ALWAYS win HMPH!!!! [that's why he's
sitting on the floor between the beds while Ben and Dan continue to bounce!]
OoOrainbow:
One word: Wop-Bop-A-Lu-Bop.
Third Place:
Rebel X:
Daniel: He misses Sweep a lot. He's said, "I got porn pictures of my dog..."
In other words, the dude is masturbating with her "porn pictures"...
Everyone thinks he's f***ing with their minds but, he's actually serious. The only thing he's f***ing is...well...Sweep.
Ben: Ben is hiding in shame & horniness because he's having phone sex with this chica he met off the internet. At the time, he did NOT know it
was a male until they planned to meet for coffee the week after. (He must have been stoned to have not noticed the deep voice!)
Chris: Of course, we all know what he's staring at on the right...
Posters...
From the new issue of Playboy! The only thing going in his mind is, "I like the one with the pretty eyes...
Alright...I like those tits better!" Chris was shocked to find out that he was staring at Playgirl the next
day...
Dirty Dan & Ben probably got him drunk again...
Daniel likes dogs...Daniel likes dogs alot...Not only does Dirty-Dan like dogs, he loves them...He loves them alot...He loves Sweep. He likes to...
(Webmaster's note: Out of all the dirty entries I got, this was one of the few I could actually put on this page!)
Second Place (it was a tie!):
The cold sore cream dealer:
Daniel, Chris and Ben have come back to the hotel room after a very heavy gig. One of the girls in the front row was crushed to death by the thousands of people behind her trying to get a grab at Daniel's pants. She has come back as a poltergeist and is throwing both Daniel and Ben around the room. (Chris was knocked out and stashed under the bed before this photo was taken). Who can guess what she'll do with Daniel after Ben is put under the bed?
moon-covered:
To make a long story short, Chris really had to sneeze!!
And First Place goes to...
llama_chick:
"First one to the bed gets to f*** the ex-Neighbours star of their choice!!!" Daniel won - he got there first, though he had to wait a couple of years to get the prize...
Haha, well, I think you know who he chose!
January - March 2000:
What is the story behind this picture? 
Trin
Daniel is thinking, "When I jump into the crowd this time, it will be a lot harder for the crowd to steal my pants if I wear a jumpsuit over my clothes!!!" (Webmaster's note: That *would* explain the grin, wouldn't it?)
Teenage_Angst_Brigade
Daniel is thinking, "Wowsers...I'm FINALLY going back to my home planet!" He's just about to board a spaceship which will bring him home. (D.J. go home!) :p He's smiling because he remembered that his home planet is filled w/ Fiona Apple lookalikes. (He's a perv!! hehehe) *And* Neighbours is broadcasted 24/7!
dEaReSt_HeLpLeSs0
Daniel is thinking, "I'll just smile till my mumsys comes and ties my shoes for
me." He's waiting for his mumsys to come tie his shoe for him, he honestly believed Ben and Chris when they told him the windbreaker bodysuit was cool! He's smiling because the guy taking the picture told him he was a foxy lady. He *is* a foxy lady, so is the photographer, hmmm... *thought*
Third Place:
Sars
He's watching his weight. He's planning a healthy meal and he's getting ready to go to bed. *heheh* He's smiling because he's going to see Sweepy BabAy! I hope you and Sweep have fun! *heheh*
Second Place:
crazybug
Daniel is thinking, "AAaahhhhhhh!" He's getting his clothes back on, of course! He finally got laid!
What a cute smile!
And the first place entry is...drumroll please...
silver_dj
Daniel is thinking, "Man, it's gonna be sweet to skydive into my high school attatched to my I RIDE BIKES banner alongside the Elvis skydivers, not to
mention get away from the oncoming teenies!" The teenies were chasing him, so he took refuge in a hangar; when the teenies found him he decided to take the plunge and go skydiving with the Elvis skydivers to get away. He's smiling because he gets to show them his "short Elvis!" THROW THE SAILORS OVERBOARD!!!!!!!
And if you have
a *really* wacky idea for the next competition, please fill out the form:
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