Part 12
Next, the chosen and unchosen found some berries to eat. Unfortunately, these were acid-laced berries. Ada noticed that they didn't look quite right. "Guys? I don't think we should really be eating these things. Something's wrong here..." Back to silverchair stuff
Chris, who had already begun munching, spit out a mouthful of berries. "I'll say!" he spluttered.
"Hey, does anyone have a Little Mad Scientist chemistry set?" KelNino asked.
Interestingly enough, Daniel had one buried in his immense backpack! He set up some tubes, and Sweep helped him run some basic tests on the berries. "Ada's right. These things have been tainted with something, and judging from the loopy way Chris is looking right now, I'd say it was acid."
"Really?" Ben asked, grabbing the berry container for a better look. Of course, he spilled them all over the sidewalk.
"Hey, what's that?" fireangel asked, noticing something odd.
"What's what?" rockstar asked.
fireangel took the container from Ben and removed a slip of paper from the bottom. "This." She tried to read it, but had trouble because it was slightly stained with berry juice and water. Daniel, who has the oddest handwriting in the world, was able to decipher it. The paper was a note, and it read: 821
"What in the hell does *that* mean?" asked Daniel.
"Oh my gosh! That can't be right, please tell me you're misreading it!" cried Ash.
"Nope," said Rockstar, "it says 821."
"Why? What does it mean, Ash?" asked dreamer.
"Now don't get freaked out, you guys, but that is the combination for my locker!" said fireangel.
"No one cares..." drifted rockstar.
"Ooooh, I know!" shouted junta. She turned over the paper and saw the butt symbol! It looks somewhat like this:
( Y )
"Dear God!" KelNino shrieked, "Don't you know what this means?!"
"Err, I jolly don't..." Chris replied squeakily.
"The butt symbol is the Yo Mama secret signature! Damn, this can't be good! We derived the butt symbol from fibergiggle-rack!"
Robin looked up. "Errr...mshsshs. What?" he inquired through his mouthful of banana.
"KelNino, what are you getting at?" Junta drilled.
"That's not a locker number! It's a street address!"
"What's fibergiggle-rack?"
"It's the lab that Britney's silicone was processed at!" KelNino screamed in panic. The bathroom pioneers gasped.
"Holy shnikes...."
"What the hell?"
"Hey, pass me another banana, will you?" The group turned and gave Robin a dirty look.
"I get it!" The lightbulb above fireangel's head flickred on. "If we prevent the rise of Britney's boobs, we can prevent the rise of Britney altogether!"
"Exactly!" KelNino answered. "Because what is Britney without her breasts?! We may have killed in the future, twice, but she can always come back from the past. If we kill her in the past, or prevent her popularity, we'll destroy her for forever!" The group cheered.
"Okay then..." Junta smirked, "We have to find building number 821, then what?"
"Errr..." KelNino stuttered. "We destroy fibergiggle-rack laboratories?" Junta nodded. The group meandered around town until they reached an inconspicuous stucco building with the street address of 821.
"Oh, this isn't jolly good..." Daniel muttered, looking through the windows. "I'm afraid we missed the open hours by 15 minutes. I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow..."
"Daniel! We're not shopping, we just have to demolish the building!" KelNino snapped.
"Oh, gee. I kinda wanted to get this bit of chub sucked out, you know. It's not very sexy. Doesn't compliment the muscles at all..." Daniel shifted Sweep to his other arm and grabbed a pale wrinkle of skin below his ribs.
"That's nasty, Daniel." Ada stated bluntly.
"What muscles? What fat? That's just skin! Hahaha!" KelNino chortled, obviously back in a cheerful mood.
Junta and the other bathroom pioneers joined in the laughter. However, Robin stood at the edge pouting. "Don't laugh at him! He can do whatever he wants to do!" Robin stuck out his buttom lip like a pissy kindergartener. KelNino and Junta were disgruntled at his boyish behavior when they had finally been feeling happy, even when such an important task was at hand, so they stuffed another banana in his mouth and began thinking of what to do. Daniel had been poking at his little mound of "fat" and the continual action greatly annoyed Shayla, who started screaming things that didn't make any sense. Ada calmed her down by starting a chorus of "Goober and the Queer".
Suddenly, dreamer had an idea. She tried to speak out over Shayla, who was continually shouting "Damn them all! Damn every one! Damn 'em! Damn 'em!" and so on. However, by the time Shayla had lost her breath and quieted, dreamer had totally forgotten what the hell she was going to say.
"Oh dear," she said, scratching her head. "I knew it was important..."
KelNino patted her on the back because she knew full well the strain of studying too much. "Now, honey, don't concentrate too hard. It would be terrible if you pulled a muscle right now. Don't worry now. We'll just blow the whole building up." dreamer, with a tear in her eye, nodded appreciatively.
Robin swallowed the last of his banana and spoke "Okay, wickedeebo! Let's blow the whole friggin' place to the sky! Such poor architecural design as well. I mean, look at this paint!" As Robin ran his finger down the stucco, the wall seemed to ripple as if it were a verticle wall of water. "Errr, hehe. Ozzy's weed must still be lingering, haha," he said dreamily, staring at the rippling wall.
"Robin! You wonderful little twit!" KelNino hugged Robin quickly. "You have found the door!" She embraced Robin so hard a banana squeezed out of his mouth and onto her shirt. "Aww s**t, I kinda liked this one too," she said, pulling it off.
Everyone entered through the watery exterior to find themselves in the middle of some band's rehearsal! Fortunately for the bathroom pioneers, the band was so engrossed in adjusting the tunings on their instruments, they didn't even notice they had company.
"Who the #%$& are they?" Heath hissed at Daniel.
"*I* don't know! *You're* the one who reads all those indie magazines!" he hissed back.
"Dude, I think that's Sleater-Kinney!" rockstar noted.
"Ooooh, you're right!" Robin said.
Just then, the drummer dropped a cymbal. Sweep freaked out and started barking, attracting the band's attention.
"*Now* I remember what I was going to say earlier!" dreamer announced. "Maybe we could ask some of the Riot Grrls to help us out! They of all people should understand."
"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, you dumbass!" Shayla snapped.
"I wouldn't put it in those words, but I agree with Shayla," KelNino said.
dreamer dropped her head sadly. "It was just an idea, you know..." she muttered. "And I'm not dumb, I just get a little forgetful, okay? It's not my fault - "
"Oh shut up, dreamer. You're dumb if we say so, so shove it or KelNino will zap you." Shayla gave dreamer a hard shove.
"I will not!" KelNino argued.
"Shut up, Little Miss Faragher!" Shayla turned on KelNino.
"Okay, that's enough! SSSTTOOPP THAAAT!" KelNino raised her palm and a great flame leapt up from the dingy floor, engulfing Shayla. With a violent jerk of her arm, KelNino burst Shayla into ashes. dreamer seemed relieved, but the rest of the group was irritated.
"What'd you do that for!?" Ada scolded.
"Oh, she'll be alright..." KelNino assured her.
KelNino was correct. Despite the fact that Shayla had completely disintegrated, the sassy girl struggled back to her feet (don't ask me how that happened - maybe KelNino re-integrated Shayla). Shayla looked disoriented.
"Now maybe she'll shut up!" KelNino looked Shayla harshly in the face. Shayla opened her mouth to say something back, but decided it to be wiser to stay silent. When KelNino looked around she noticed that they had attracted the attention of the whole club.
"Er, hey there..." Robin improvised. he gave a weak smile while elbowing KelNino. Unlike Robin, KelNino was not shy.
"Okay, listen up everyone!" She shouted over the crowd. "We're blowing this place to pieces, if you want to live, get out now." Quicker than you can say 'balderdash' the building was empty. "Okay then, you all ready to prevent the rise of Britney for foreve-"