Part 10
"Are you sure?" KelNino asked. "It sure looked like her!" Back to silverchair stuff
"That devil lady couldn't have been taller than dreamer without her shoes! Courtney's almost as tall as I am!" he pointed out.
"Oh, yeah," mused Robin. "That makes sense. And there's the hair."
"What do you mean, the hair?" rockstar asked.
"Courtney colors her hair. It's really this dullish brown. That lady had jet-black roots!" Daniel was surprised at Robin's eye for details, but then, the Brunet Brit seemed full of surprises...
"Oooh, yeah, and there's the nose!" Ash piped up. "There is no *way* that was Courtney's real nose, and she won't get hers done for another two years at least! Plus she would have been holding a cigarette."
"Okay, so it's probably not Courtney then. But if it's not Courtney, then who is it?" Ada wondered aloud.
"Are you kidding? It could be someone from the future who wants Courtney gone before she can finish Live Through This. In fact, I think Hole's supposed to go record it in Atlanta soon," dreamer speculated.
"Or someone who doesn't want her upstaging them," Daniel added.
"She sure did that at that awards show," Ben said, grinning.
dreamer elbowed him. Then it hit her.
"Uhh...everyone? I think we've run afoul of Madonna."
"Madonna?" Robin seemed shocked.
"Really?" James piped up. "Man, I went to one of her concerts last year. Wow, what a show! And her outfits...dead sexy. There isn't a pair of breasts out there to match hers, with Britney dead and all...hey, what's wrong?" The bathroom pioneers were staring at him. "What's wrong...hehe....come on, guys, that's freaking me out..." he whimpered.
"Who *are* you?" KelNino asked sharply.
"Hehe..." James improvised, "I'm James, hehe. You know...'kill pop'. Hehe, yeah." KelNino pounced on him, holding the runt down with one hand. Junta pushed through the curious group and picked up James' head forcefully and looked into his frantic eyes.
"I knew it..." she nodded.
"He's posessed then?" KelNino's shoulders dropped. "I kinda liked the fellow too."
"Yep, must have been when he killed himself with that banana. Some pop spirit must have taken his body, what a shame. Such an enthusiastic kid."
"Wait..." fireangel interrupted. "That guy is still alive? How many times has he died? Damn..."
"Oh, heheh. Just once, but sometimes he leaves and reappears again. Such a strange little twit, he is. I thought for sure that when he killed himself we'd be rid of him," KelNino explained while glancing down at the struggling boy, "but I guess not. So Junta, how are we gonna get the demon out of him?"
Junta shrugged. "Beats me. First Madonna, then this. God, it never ends. I say we kill him - "
"NO!" rockstar screamed.
"Okay, okay, fine. We won't kill him. I can get the thing out of him, then we can deal with Madonna and Boyz II Men. I don't know how to, though. Robin, got any ideas?"
Robin nodded, "Oh yes, I spent many years in a cult learning how to style my hair just right. First we need some cottage cheese and a tea, please."
"What do you need that for, pumpkin dew?" KelNino said saucily. Robin was irritated because his girlfriend didn't like it when KelNino made her feel like they were really married. She's such an airhead and all. KelNino gave Robin a sharp nudge at which he winced in pain.
"Hey, that will bruise! Dammit woman!" Robin was about to backhand his girlfriend when he remembered her black belt in karate. "Oh, uh, nevermind."
"What, are you afraid of your woman?" Junta taunted. She and KelNino laughed heavily. Robin mumbled something below his breath.
"Fine, forget it. To get the demon out, we'll have to
dunk him in a keg and plug his head into some Marilyn Manson."
"Okay..." said Robin. "This is gonna take all of your help. Come on!"
Shay pinned James down with her feet as she dug through her CD collection, removing the Spawn soundtrack, which featured a Marilyn Manson song. "This is all I could find, fellow pioneers." She grabbed KelNino's Discman and Ada put the headphones on James. Robin and Ben went to go grab the keg.
KelNino said, "Who's the dumbass that sent Ben to go get the keg? C'mon, fess up because you KNOW there will be no beer left when they get back."
Silence fell over the bathroom pioneers. "Now what are we gonna do?" said Daniel.
Ada chimed in, "I think I have some barley my my backpack. We could brew our own!" James screamed a shrill noise, commonly associated with exorcism. "MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!"
"Guys, wait! Isn't this a little harsh?" Ash asked. "I mean, maybe we could use James to help us find Boyz II Men and Madonna (who scampered off in the back room of the old Pizza Hut) - since James has the mind of a pop star, he has to know where there all hiding at. We just need to keep a close eye on him and make sure he doesn't use his powers on us!"
Then rockstar found an old rope and put it on his wrist so he couldn't run away. KelNino whipped out her black leather, spike-studded dog collar. "Hey Robin, remember this?" she giggled. Robin's face turned bright red. KelNino snapped on the collar and attached the matching leash to James and gave it a sharp tug. James yelped. "Good, nice and tight..." Next she took duct tape and kept the headphones strapped to James' head. With Marilyn Manson sound blaring, he'd be weakened to where he couldn't pull anything sneaky.
"Hey, good idea, sis..." Junta commented, "Now just set the CD player to repeat that Marilyn Manson song and we'll be okie dokie smoke!" KelNino did exactly this. James lay writhing on the floor, tied to the wall by the dog leash. Everyone settled down to get some sleep...they could deal with James, Madonna, and Boyz II Men in the morning.
The following morning, Junta and KelNino awoke to find themselves alone.
"Hey, where is everyone?" Junta mumbled through her puffy, sleepy eyes. The two sisters searched the Pizza Hut but could not find the group. Just when they were about to give up, something happened that totally shocked them - James had given birth to puppies!
"Aren't they cute!" shrieked Ada. "This one can be Goober, this one can be Queer, this one can be Jasper...oh, and that one can be Miss Piggy," she said with a smile.
"Ada, I wouldn't touch them," warned dreamer. "They're infected with salmonella. James had been eating raw chicken the night before during one of his fits. Oh, wait! There's one more!"
Out came one more puppy! "What should we name it?" asked Junta.
"Slutbag Whore!" shouted fireangel. "Aawww it's a cute Slutbag Whore..."
Just then, bursting through the door (to everyone's PLEASANT suprise) was Sean and Colm from the Chosen Rejects! "Wickedeebo!" Robin exclaimed. The Rejects did some strange sort of manly greeting which involved smacking each other's butts and wailing like a pop diva.
But the Chosen Rejects weren't the only suprise guests. Hiding in the corner was Ada's beloved John. "John!" she cried as she rushed over and gave him a big hug. But something was wrong. Someone was controlling John.
It was Carson Daly! Carson had latched onto John's neck with his black nails and was controlling the beloved insomniac through his spinal cord.
"Damn you!" Ada shrieked.
"Dude, this sucks...." KelNino muttered, knowing fully that Carson was a big sissy. She strolled up to the MTV VJ and gave him a swift kick in the location where Robin's banana might have been.
"Dude! That's so totally not cool! Errrr..." Carson grumbled as he crippled over in pain as well as releasing John from his control. KelNino gave Carson a wicked backhand slap.
"Dammit you stupid MTV freak! I've got PMS and a cruel bitchslap, so don't mess with me or my friends!"
"S**t, I *knew* I should've picked up that Midol..." Robin said under his breath.
KelNino continued to lecture Carson. "And then all that Britney Spears s**t came around..." she snapped, "And you got all uncool. Yeah, you better be afraid. We used to look up to you! You bet your ass, but then you got all full of yourself! You think I forgot the day when you said Taylor Hanson was a hot chick? Yeah! You didn't know that he was actually a guy, did you! I bet you think Daniel is hot too, don't you, Carson! Don't you!" Carson squeeled as KelNino girlslapped him with full force.
"Ooh, do you really think he fancies me as hot?" Daniel piped in happily. KelNino grew tired of the ninny, so with a flash of bright light, she blew Carson into a pile of dust.
John lay motionless on the floor. With whatever strength he had left in him, he managed to whisper, "I will not die. Two can balance better then one can. Ada...you know..." he gasped. With that, Ada rushed to his side. John somehow managed to get up. Ada held him close and the two started glowing magically. Ada was giving John some of her strength. She would not lose him ever again, nor would she come close to losing him. She kissed him, and the room was filled with a blindingly bright light, which disappeared as quickly as it had come. Ada stood clutching John's arm. She had used more strength then she realized, but she would be ok, especially now that John was alright. With Carson Daly blown to dust, the bathroom pioneers happily rejoiced, and Ada and John were finally content just by seeing one another.
But, of course, the happiness never lasts very long. Standing in the doorway was a very pissed Madonna. "Uh oh..." muttered dreamer.