THE REAL HARRY POTTER

May I have your attention please?

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Harry Potter please stand up?

I repeat

Will the real Harry Potter please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here:

Y'all acting like you've never seen a 12-year-old wizard before

Eyes gawking at my forehead where I got my sore

From he-who-must-not-be-named (yea right) Voldemort!

It's the return of the-

Ohhh wait, no way. Your kidding?!?!

He didn't just say the name did he?

And the Weasley twins said:

Nothin' you idiots Fred -&- George are dead!

They locked in my basement! (ha-ha)

And the lil' kids loved Harry Potter

Ohh look at him

Walking round like a lil' kid

Playing make-belive

You didn't actually read the books did you? (uhhh.... no?)

Yeah the haters probaly gotta couple of screws up in their head

loose

But no worse that the one's on Peter Pettigrew's

Sometimes I wish JK wud let the 5th book go loose (come oooon)

But I gotta wait cause she's not done yet

Just like I uzed 2 w8 4 bookz by Dr. Zeus

That book iz on my list

The list being for Christmas

And if I'm lucky I won't have to wait that long (but if I do I'll

get pissed)

That is the message we deliver to little kids

and we expect them not 2 know what da game quidditch iz (me me me

me me!!!)

OF COURSE they're gonna know what the Snitch is

By the time they hit 4th grade

They got the books for themselves (or did they?)

We ain't nothing but muggles

Well, some of us are wizards

But the rest of us gotta struggle

But if they can turn people into antelopes and animals

Then there's no reason why we shouldn't too

So if you feel like I do I got the solution

Get some willow, without pollution

Steal a phoinex hair but don't jump to conclutions

Chorus:

Cause I'm Harry Potter

Yes I'm the real Potter

All you other Harry Potters are just being big Rotters

So won't the real Harry Potter

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up

Ron won't belive I didn't enter the tournament

Well I didn't

So screw him

And screw you to

You think I give a damn if you don't belive me?

Half of u Slytherin's can't even stomach me

Let alone stand me!

But man, what if you win

Wouldn't it be funny?

Why so you guys can just lie 2 gimme money?

So i chill with them Villa honeys?

I can't belive that's what you all want from me

And that bone-head Serveus Snape better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Remeus Lupin n Siruis Black

And hear them argue over whu he tried to curse first behind their

backs (jerk) (say that last part fast. don't read out this part)

Lil' snitch

Put Neville on blast in defence against the dark arts

Just because he's not all that good (and ocassionaly he farts)

I should learn how to do the Crutaricuis curse

And curse him worse

Than i did when I made 'old Marge' burst

Well, I'm sick of you lil' Slytherins and Death eat

So I've been sent here to beat out the beeep (beeep) (laugh of triumph)

And there's a million of us

Just like me

Who got a scar like me

Who wanna dress like me

They wanna be a wizard like me

Even though they're muggles

They may be the next best thing (But not quite me!)

Repeat CHORUS

I'm like a floo powder trip to listen to

Cause I'm only giving y'all things you talk about with your

friends inside your classroom

Only diffrence is I'm doin' it for real

And I've already sealed

with Warner bros. a 20 million dollar deal

I just wake up and do it

And if you want to sue it

Be prepared for a 100 million fans (get a clue dudette) (make the

dudette rhyme with do it)

Then you go out and say they copied your ideas 10 times before

your corfue b*tch (b*tch!)

It's funny

Cause at the rate I'm going when I'm 40

I'll be the only wizard more powerful than Voldy

Use Avada Kedavra like Abra Kedabra

Not the Pokémon Abra

So don't even start to brag (uh... no) (say this VERY fast and

put the previous parenthethese in sync (mind the pun) with the

lyrics)

And every single person is a Wiz

Get a 100 off an HP quiz

Future plans: The broom-making biz

Or in the ministry

The department for Misuse of Muggle artifacts with Mr. Weasley

(what a hottie)

Maybe working in da 3 broomsticks from 2 to 3

So will the real Harry Potter please stand up?

And put one of thoze fingers on each hand up?

And be proud to be 1 of a kind and have a broom with complete

control

So 1 more time

Loud as you can:

How does it go?

Repeat CHORUS

Ha - Ha

I guess there's a lil' magic in all of us

Forget it

Let's all stand up