| Warning: This joke has some bad language in it... Other than that it's pretty safe. On a side note, this joke is really much better told verbally than read. I actually heard this joke from a camper while I was working at the BSA camp and I nearly died laughing. |
| The Captain was getting old. His wife had died and he was lonely. So he thought maybe he would get a pet. One day he swung over to the pet store to look around. He didn't really want a dog... or a cat. Nothing traditional. Then he spotted the parrot in the cage by the front counter. Deciding on that, he paid the man and took the parrot home. Set his cage up in a corner of the living room and settled himself down in his chair to take a nap. He was just at the dozing stage when all of a sudden he heard a voice, "Heeeeey, one eye!" Startled, the captain looked around to see if there was anyone in the house then looked over to the bird. "Did you say that?" The bird nodded so the captain got up and moved to the cage. "What do you want?" "Fuck you!" the bird said. "Hey! Watch your language... and be quiet I'm trying to sleep." The captain said before moving back over to the chair. Not too long after he started to doze again he heard the bird... "Heeeeeey, one eye!" Angry now, the captain got up and moved to the cage. "What is it this time?" "Fuck you!" the bird said. "I told you before not to say that! If you do it again I'll cut your tongue out!" The captain stomped back over to his chair and sat down. Right before he started to doze off he heard the bird yet again... "Heeeeey, one eye!" The captain jumped back to his feet, stomped over to the cage and glared at the bird. "What now?!" "Fuck you!" The captain then cut out the bird's tongue and went back over to his chair to sleep. He was just about to fall asleep when he heard something tapping on metal. Taptaptaptap. Rubbing his eyes, the captain looked around then over to the cage. The bird covered one eye and flipped him off. |
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