| This joke is actually perfectly safe depending on how you want to tell it. I'm listing the clean version. |
| One day a woman was in the supermarket going through the aisle and she stopped to look at a can of green beans. All of a sudden, she heard a booming voice, "You will live to be a hundred!" Surprised, the woman looked around to see if anyone else was there. She was alone. Then she heard the voice again, "You will live to be a hundred!" God was talking to her! She was excited now. So, she ran out of the store and thought for a moment. Deciding if she was going to live that long she might as well look good. Taking all the money out of her savings she went and got some plastic surgery done. Tummy tuck, face lift, that sort of thing. Then went and got a full make over. Getting her hair done, her nails, everything. Feeling good with herself now, she walked out of the beauty parlor. She felt brand new! A new woman! Then she stepped out to cross the street and POW! Hit by a cement mixer and killed. When the woman got up to heaven she went to God and asked him, "What's going on? I thought you said I would live to be a hundred?" God studied the woman for a few moments... "Oh! I didn't recognize you!" |
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