Enough
By lyra and Niz

Max and Alec rode side by side through the streets of Sector 5. There had been a few incidents lately in that sector and now Normal insisted on sending the messengers in pairs to the worst areas of the city.

Max wore a scowl on her face, caused of course by the incesant chatter of her companion.

“...and then I tell her ‘sure you have, babe’ and she drags me to the-”

“Alec, does it look like I give a fuck about any of your stories? ‘Cause I sure as hell don’t, and your yapping is giving me a headache.” Max interrupted him. “It’s bad enough that I’m stuck with you for these deliveries, but I really don’t wanna have to put up with any more crap than I necessarily have to. So. Shut. Your. Trap!”

Alec, whose goal had been to get a reaction from her the whole time, smirked at her even though he did stop talking.

For a whole minute.

“So Maxie, what’s got you in such a good mood?” He drawled.

“Alec.” Max warned in a dangerous tone.

“No, really.” Alec kept going, faking a sincere concern for the she-devil at his side. “I’m worried about you, Maxie. You’ve been even bitchier than usual the last few days. And believe me, I really thought that was impossible.”

“Alec!” Max tried again, but Alec was in a roll.

“I mean, come on, Maxie,” he insisted, knowing how much she hated him using the nickname his siblings used for her, “you know you can talk to me, right? That’s what friends are for.”

“Yeah, well, when I see a friend I’ll tell them. Because right now all I see is a waste of Ben’s genes not worthy of the air you breathe.”

Alec’s face went completely blank. He stopped and fixed his gaze on the road, counting to 10 silently. This wasn’t fun anymore. Pissing Max off had always been his favourite past time, but he had never tried to deliberately hurt her, and what she just said hurt. A lot.

Max noticed he wasn’t with her anymore and turned her head to look over her shoulder. He was standing in the middle of the road, stone still, his head was lowered and his knuckles were white from the grip he had on the handlebar. Max stopped her own bike, feeling a little prick of guilt for her hurtful words. But she told herself he had been asking for it all day. Make that all week. Who was she kidding, he’d been trying to rile her up ever since they met.

Well, now he got what he wanted. Didn’t he?

When he hadn’t moved after 5 minutes, Max got tired of waiting and went back to where he was standing. Eyes still closed. “What?!”

Alec had been counting slowly in his head trying to reign on his rage fueled by his hurt. It hadn’t worked.

“What?” He spoke softly. So much that Max stepped closer to hear him better. “What, Maxie? I’ll tell you what. I’ve had enough.” Alec raised his head, his eyes cold. “See that warehouse over there?” He pointed to a big building with all the aspect of being abandoned about 45 feet south of where they were standing.

Max followed his gaze and nodded. “Yeah, so what?” She said curtly.

“It looks empty. We’re gonna go over there and we’re gonna settle this once and for all.” Alec said slowly, still trying to control his anger.

“What are you talking about? Why would we need to go to an empty warehouse to settle anything?” She asked confused. “And why would I even wanna settle anything with you for that matter? I have nothing to say to you.” She said with a little more spine.

Max made to turn her bike around to leave, but a steel-like grip on her arm stopped her. She followed the arm to the face of the owner. A very much furious Alec stared back at her.

“Who said a word about talking, Max?” Alec told her dead serious. “You’re gonna come with me, want it or not.” He said, getting in her face.

Who the hell does he think he is? Max thought. Her eyes were incensed and she was breathing hard. He wants to play? Let’s play.

“Yes, sir. Lead the way.” Max said sarcastically.

But Alec wasn’t gonna let her out of his sight now. “Walk.” He ordered and much to Max’s surprise she found herself doing just that.

~ ~ ~ ~

They entered the warehouse, their eyes looking around to check for enemies and escape routes. It was instinctive for Alec and in the time they’d spent working together and pulling the occasional job, Max had gone back to her basic training almost without noticing.

Alec walked to a corner and leaned his bike on the wall, Max following him, and then they faced each other taking off their jackets so they’d have more freedom to fight. Alec threw his to the floor beside his bike and Max’s landed on the seat of hers.

“So what are you gonna do, Alec? You’re gonna make me swallow my words? You’re gonna beat me ‘till I’m sorry I was mean to you?” She taunted him in a mocking voice.

“You don’t get it, do you Max?” Alec said. “What is wrong with you? What the hell do you have against me, huh?” He asked closing in on her.

Max took a step back. This wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. He was going to play victim?

“That’s rich, Alec. Do you want the abreviated version, meaning you’re a selfish bastard screw-up, or the detailed list?” Max spat, halting her retreat and standing her ground.

“What the fuck have I ever done to you, Max? I thought you would get over yourself with time but obviously you need more than time, don’t you Max? Do you need blood?” Alec had started circling Max when she stopped moving, he stopped right behind her and whispered in her right ear. “Go for blood, Max. Get it out of your system. You know you want to.” He was the one taunting her now.

Max felt her rage boiling over. She turned around in a whirl with her fist already in the air and punched him in the jaw so hard it spun his head and made him stagger a few steps back. “You asked for it, asshole.” She said furious, rising her fist to hit him again.

Alec straightened and block her hit in a blur, shoving her hard. He felt the blood trailing down his chin and dripping on the floor. He wiped it away with his hand and looked at it. Then he looked at Max, who was seething a few feet away, lying on her butt. “That’s all the free blood you get, Max. You want more you’ll have to work for it.”

Max sprang to her feet and adopted a fighting stance. “You got it, pretty boy. I’ve been waiting for this for months.” She said with contempt.

Alec looked her in the eyes, his mask falling for an instant. “I know, Max. Believe me, I know.” Then he took a fighting stance mirroring hers and his face went back to the soldier blank mask. Alec waited for Max to move. She was too mad and too little disciplined to wait for his move.

Max didn’t disappoint. She launched herself at him, an explosion of kicks and punches raining on Alec but finding his arms and legs blocking the way each time. She fell back slightly to gain perspective again, going back to circling

“That’s for the virus!” She yelled seeing a hole in his defense and throwing a punch at his face but Alec jumped back just in time.

“Who the hell do you think I am, Max?” He blocked her arm with his. “I’m not a scientist.” Alec raised his other hand to stop her second hit. “I’m not a lab tech.” He shoved her and she stumbled over the fallen crate, landing on the floor. “I didn’t make that virus and I didn’t inject you with it. I’m a soldier. I was following orders. I followed you to Eyes Only and told you to stop touching him. And killing him.” Max had gotten to her feet again and was looking at him with a mixture of confussion and irrationale rage. “That was all my involvement with the virus. Stop blaming me for something Renfro did. Something Manticore did.” He saw something flash in her eyes. “That’s it, isn’t it? I’m the only solid leftover from Manticore and you need to hate me for it.”

Max didn’t want to hear that. She stormed him again, (fighting)

“You cost us the cure!”

“Come on Max, I didn’t wake up that morning thinking ‘Let’s screw Max’s life, shall we? Let’s get a bomb in the head!’” Alec kicked her left hip and her head in quick succession. “Max I didn’t ask you to pay that guy. Hell, I didn’t ask you to take me to that creep.” Max fell to her knees and threw a punch to his groin but Alec saw it coming and blocked her arm. Pulling on it he made her stand and rolled her so that her back was flash against his front. “I was going to die. I chose to die rather than kill you.” Alec muttered, panting for breath. Then he realized what he’d said and pushed her away, rushing on and hitting her to distract her from his slip. “It was your decission, your choice to take me to that guy and save my life. So don’t dump that on me. It’s not fair.”

“Like I had a choice!”

“You did, Max. You may not have liked it but you had a choice. I mean, I had just tried to kill you, why would you even want to save me?”

Max didn’t answer. She could still see her brother begging her for help. With Ben the only way to help had been killing him, but she couldn’t bear to see ‘him’ die again. But she wouldn’t tell Alec that. She couldn’t. Instead she threw herself in the fight with renewed vigor.

Alec could feel her distress in her hits. He didn’t say anything for a while, just concentrated on the fight and stepped up, too. (fighting).

Max, finally having found something else to blame him of suddenlly said, “You endangered Joshua.”

“You’re not Joshua’s mother nor his keeper. That’s between Joshua and me. Stay out of it.”

“Joshua is my friend.” Joshua’s mention had reminded her of something else. “And you got paint over my cure notes.” She said triumphantly.

“That’s what your free blood was for. That’s the only thing in your ‘list of woes’ I’m actually guilty of.”

(fighting)

Suddenly Max stood still. She dropped her fists to her sides and relaxed her stance. She stopped circling Alec and just stared at the floor.

Alec stopped too and stared at her. They stayed like that for a long while, both lost in their thoughts.

Alec’s eyes ran over her figure, trying to read her pose and her look. He didn’t know what to think. He could never figure her out. And he’d tried. To say we didn’t have a good start would be an understatement, Max, but I could see from the beginning that you were a caring person. Just from the way you treated Joshua. And when I decided to stay around I knew I could easily fall for you. I’ve cared about you right from day one. You were my only link to my kind and no matter how reluctant you seemed to be I always thought you felt the same.

I’ve been standing in a doorway all this time. Only a step away from going from caring about you to falling in love with you. And every time you snapped at me, every time you blamed me for something that wasn’t my fault, every time you dismissed me from your mind without a second thought or you made fun of me to entertain yourself, or Logan, you put a brick in that doorway, blocking my path, keeping me trapped in this side.

At first it was easy to ignore your jabs. Your insults rolled off my back and I could move on to our next fight. I really enjoy pissing you off. It’s quite a show seeing the sparks fly from your eyes, your cheeks flush and your pouting lips could bring me to my knees. But after months of listening to you curse me and bring me down every time you bothered to even let me register in your mind, it got harder and harder to ignore the truth. You really hate me, don’t you?

Why is that, Max? Is it because of Ben? Because of Manticore? Why? Why did you feel like you had to hurt me every time we were in each other’s presence? Why did you have to twist the knife time and again till I bled myself to death in front of you? Why make it so hard for me that I had to force myself to go to sleep at night so your last hateful remark stopped eating away at me?

You’ve finally done it, Max. The door is closed and now I can barely see your side. I still care about you. I don’t think I could make myself stop caring. How sad is that? But you’ve dried me up. I need some distance from you to find myself again in between all the shit you’ve loaded me with.

I need space. I need time.

Max was frozen on the spot. She felt horrible. I can’t believe I called him a waste of Ben’s genes. That was a horrible thing to say. And I don’t even believe it. What is wrong with me? Suddenly, all Max could see were all times she’d seen Alec’s eyes cloud over with pain because of something she’d said and that she’d always dismissed, barely registering in her mind at the time but squeezing the air from her lungs now, the weight of her guilt almost crashing her to the ground.

I’ve never been anything but a bitch to him and I really didn’t have a reason for it. I remember clearly the flash of hope I felt when he entered my cell back at Manticore. And how painful losing it was.

It must have been horrible for him to be Ben’s twin stuck at Manticore, a replacement for them to study and break apart and find what went wrong with their little experiment. But I never even considered it. I only tried to make him pay for it. For being Ben’s twin and not Ben himself.

These months I had to make myself look at him with contempt and hate so that I wouldn’t try to find Ben in his features. Because I knew I wouldn’t find him. And that only made me feel resentment towards him. I’d find myself wishing for a second it was Ben’s eyes looking back at me from Alec’s face. And then I’d hate myself for it. Hadn’t he paid enough already for sharing Ben’s DNA?

But I can’t tell him that. I have plenty of other reasons to hate him, anyway. Don’t I? He’s Manticore through and through. Has lived his whole live there and become everything they’d strived for. Everything I hate.

Oh yeah! That’s why he’d been running his scams right under their noses. And he talked and moved like no soldier I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen my share of them... And he covered for me at roll call, or when he caught me sneaking in from the tunnel. And he followed his orders to follow me to Logan’s like a good little soldier, but he was never willing to die for it. He wasn’t the automaton bred to fight and die for Manticore they wanted him to be. They lost that a long time ago. He only played for himself.

But that’s not even it. What makes me really mad is that he’s not like me. What infuriates me the most about Alec is the way he conducts himself. Because when I look at him I don’t see a man haunted by Manticore. I don’t see a mirror image of my misery. How can that be?

It’s me who’s been on the outside for half my life. And I’m still trapped there. Marked by my childhood, by what manticore made of me. And every time I look at him and all I see is a light-hearted and well-adjusted guy, always with that easy smile, as if he’d just gotten out of summer camp and not my personal Inferno, it makes me a little more bitter.

But that’s not his shit. It’s mine. I don’ know why I want him to be miserable. What’s happened to me? I’m tense all the time. I’m always angry, ready to snap, worried about something. I wouldn’t know a joke if it bit me in the ass. I never laugh anymore. When did the world drop on my shoulders? When did I become dry inside, only a shell of who I could be?

I don’t like feeling like this. I despise every waking moment of my life. And seeing Alec only makes it worse. But that’s not fair to him.

Finally Max raised her head and looked at Alec. She was a fool and now she didn’t know how to fix this.

Alec could she the feelings rolling over in her eyes. Too late, he realized. She opened her mouth to speak but Alec cut her off. “I’m leaving, Max.”

Alec turned around and walked to their bikes. He put on his jacket trying to cover the marks of their fight the best he could. A heavy thud behind him made him turn around.

Max was on her knees and tears were running down her face, her eyes closed. Alec’s heart constricted at the sight. He hesitantly gave two steps toward her but stopped when she raised her head.

“I’m sorry.” She said still sobing, though it was clear she was trying hard to stop herself. “I’m so sorry, Alec.”

Alec lowered his gaze. He didn’t want to hear this. Not now. Max would apologize and realize she didn’t want him gone and ask him to stay, he’d seen it in her eyes. And he would put his needs on hold because it was Max asking.

Max got to her feet and walked up to Alec. When he didn’t look at her she wrapped her arms around his waist and clung to him tightly for a brief moment. Whising.

“Be happy, Alec. Go and heal.” Alec’s startled eyes went to hers. “And maybe... maybe when you’ve healed... you’ll find your way back. To me. Someday?”

She understands. Relief flooded Alec and he hugged Max back. Fiercely. “Someday.” He said softly against her hair and Max could feel the wetness of his tears falling over her.