Survivor-less, pt.2 by: Doyle
Warning!! This fic contains spoilers for Fray #5!
Starring:
Silver as herself
Berry as herself
Doyle as himself and so on and so forth
and Anthony Stewert Head as Giles
guest starring
Bracken as Tom Hanks/Bruce Willis
Everyone just kept looking at passenger 57/Tom Hanks/Bruce Willis in shock and he got nervous and so he wet his pants.
Silver: �Wha...what? What?! What�s this?? Bruce Willis doesn�t wet his pants!�
Wesley: �I don�t believe he changes from being Tom Hanks either.�
Berry: �I hear he can, but he doesn�t like to.�
Wesley: �How is it even possible?�
Berry: �Haven�t you read even one of my X-Men comics? Hello! Does the name Mystique ring any bells? This Bruce Willis or whoever he is, is obviously a shape shifter.�
Spike: �That�s all very nice and stuff.� he said from inside the cave that was sheltering him from the daylight.
Spike: �Say, Brucey, could you maybe use your extreme marvelousness to get us off this bloody island? There�s a bear in this cave that looks like it either wants to eat me or mate with me.�
Silver: �Shut your cracker hole, Spike.�
Spike: �Cracker?....What??�
Suddenly the sound of a plane flying overhead was heard and everyone (except Spike) ran out onto the beach to try and get the pilot�s attention. The plane flew past and everyone was bummed until it turned around and came back towards the island. Everyone was happy and sure they would get off the island in no time until they heard the small airplane making a chukka chukka noise and saw smoke coming out from behind it. It began to descend faster and was heading towards the group on the island who scattered before it crashed.
Silver: �They really aren�t making planes like they used to.�
Everyone checked to see if the pilot and the passengers were okay. Silver was aghast to find the pilot was in fact Lorne. He had a few scratches on his face and the green make-up had come off.
Silver: �Uh...Lorne?�
Lorne sat up and asked if one of his horns was broken off.
Lorne: �They�re a bitch to glue back on.� he said.
Silver just looked at him quizzically.
The others discovered that there were only two passengers on board.
Liz: �Damn it, messed up my manga-style hairdo that plane crash did.� she grumbled as she undid her seat belt. Berry was quite happy to see her fellow comic-reading buddy and greeted her with glee. As Berry helped Liz out of the plane, Liz turned back around to look inside the plane as if she�d forgotten something.
Liz: �Oh geez, I forgot about Giles. Giles is in there!�
Wesley: �Where is he? I�ll go see if he�s alright.�
Liz: �He was in the toilet when the plane went down.�
Wesley hopped inside the wrecked plane and everyone else who was outside it could hear a manly holler followed by a girly scream and then a, �Do you mind?! I wasn�t finished!�
Wesley emerged from the plane mumbling, �Ungrateful.� followed by Giles who was doing up his belt. He glared at Wesley who looked (original) sheepish. But before any of them could make with the not-so pleasantries, Bruce Willis ran out and hauled them both up the beach away from the plane just before it exploded. Everyone greeted the newcomers.
Fred: �Well, at least we have a fire now.� she said, pointing at the rather large inferno.
Doyle: �Right. All we need now is something to cook for dinner.�
After a moment he grabbed a sharp tree branch and made a spear then began to walk up to the cave Spike (and the bear) were in. Silver quickly ran after Doyle.
Silver: �Wait! You�re not going to kill the bear for us to eat.�
Doyle: �Well what would you have us do? Make like Lyle and start eating each other??�
Silver: �Well, no. But there must be berries on this island...�
Fred: �They�re all poisonous.� she said, appearing behind Silver who was unnerved by her sudden appearance.
Silver: �Well if there�s no berries, what have you two been eating since you were stranded here?�
Doyle: �Mostly bears. That�s why you haven�t seen any really.�
Silver had a shocked expression.
Silver: �Some salad will suit me fine you cadaverous bastard.�
Doyle and Fred looked at each other.
Silver: �Uh...I meant to say �carnivorous bastard�.�
Doyle: �There is no sal-ad on this island, silver. Besides, you don�t win friends with sal-ad.�
Fred and Doyle made a two person conga line and started chanting, �You don�t win friends with sal-ad.� Everyone else but Silver joined the conga line and chanted as Doyle led them into the cave, his spear at the ready for the bear.
When night came, everyone sat around the burning airplane while eating the bear. Spike was there too and he commented on how horrible bear blood tasted. Doyle offered silver some bear but she was quite content sitting away from the others, eating some plants and snubbing the meat. In doing so she believed her soul would be saved.
Doyle turned back around so he could be part of the conversations that were happening. Berry and Liz were huddled together reading Fray#5 (forgetting about Wesley and Giles). Spike joined Berry and Liz and caught up with the storyline in the comic.
Spike: �No, I don�t think Loo�s truly dead.� he said comforting them both.
Giles, Wesley and Lorne sat together and Fred and Doyle sat together just across from the threesome.
Lorne: �Hey, I got a fantabulous idea - me and watcher boy here can sing something. But we need a third person."
Wesley: � I can�t sing.�
Giles: �Not you, doofus. He meant me and...Spike! Get over here and sing with us.�
Spike left the two women and shoved Wesley out of where he wanted to sit.
Spike: �I vote Wesley off the island.� he said half-jokingly.
Wesley went and sat with Fred and Doyle. He was about to start chatting up Fred until Doyle indicated not to by shaking his head.
Lorne, Giles and Spike began singing �Survivor� by Destiny�s Child, which disturbed everyone greatly.
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