popstarrevenge

Pop Star Revenge

Note: Jessica Simpson = Heather, Britney Spears = Bracken, and Christina Aguilera = Sophie

originally from BC&S chat

<.Britney Spears> Nick? Christina screwed him six ways from Sunday last week
<.Britney Spears> Hello. Jessica
<.christina aguilera> oh please...i screwed him ages ago....you think he 'understands'...?? ha!
<.Jessica Simpson> What????
<.Jessica Simpson> you little whore!
<.christina aguilera> i like to think of myself as a tramp....but whore will do i guess...
<.Britney Spears> Wait. Who's screwing who? I've done the N'sync boys.
<.Jessica Simpson> haha
<.Jessica Simpson> what's the deal with your hair Christina??
<.Britney Spears> Who've you all done?
<.Britney Spears> She's going for the "latin" flavor.
<.Jessica Simpson> I haven't screwed anyone
<.Jessica Simpson> I'm saving myself for the love of my life
<.christina aguilera> me too...i did bsb as well...i did eminem too...
<.Jessica Simpson> he understands
<.christina aguilera> *Snorts* yeah...right...
<.Jessica Simpson> Christina...aren't the BSBs all gay?
<.christina aguilera> brb
<.Britney Spears> Jessica. You're with us. The two biggest whores. Spill girl
<.Britney Spears> They are now that she slept with them
<.Jessica Simpson> okay...there was this one time that I...
<.Jessica Simpson> now, don't tell anyone this
<.Britney Spears> I won't
<.Jessica Simpson> but I gave Ricky Martin a blow job
<.christina aguilera> of course not....
<.Britney Spears> But he's gay
<.christina aguilera> you too?????
<.Jessica Simpson> he is??
<.Britney Spears> Girls. It's much better to get him to *ahem* you.
<.christina aguilera> wow...i guess we do have something in common..why do you think he agreed to duet with me? not cos of my singing abilities..
<.Jessica Simpson> which I'm sure YOU'VE done
<.Britney Spears> Of course. I have
<.Jessica Simpson> you have singing abilities?
<.christina aguilera> god..you're so selfish brit...
<.Britney Spears> Have I mentioned that I'm hot?
<.Jessica Simpson> not as hot as I am
<.Britney Spears> I can do whatever I want
<.Jessica Simpson> I mean really, look at my boyfriend
<.christina aguilera> of course not..they get some ugly chick to sing and i mouth...
<.Britney Spears> Excuse me? I'm the hottest one out there
<.christina aguilera> you two have it all wrong..you dont need pop star boyfriends..screwing everyone is sooo much more fun
<.Britney Spears> He looks gay.. well more gay then Justin
<.Britney Spears> It's all about status, sweetheart
<.Jessica Simpson> yeah yeah
<.Britney Spears> I do my bodyguards.. but that's just to pass time.
<.Jessica Simpson> Christina...I was wondering earlier...why do you always have to be feeling yourself up in your videos?
<.christina aguilera> personally, i think your boyfriends are attracted to each other...
<.Jessica Simpson> my boyfriend loves only me
<.Jessica Simpson> and is waiting for me
<.christina aguilera> well dahling, i just love to touch myse...ok, i'm sharing...
<.Jessica Simpson> while I save myself for him
<.Britney Spears> Mmm. Yes. Nick and Justin have slept together. Jessica is in denial. But I've got the video tape
<.Jessica Simpson> that isn't him
<.christina aguilera> look sweetie, i hate to burst your bubble, but your boyfriend, me and eminem and marilyn mason had a GREAT time last week
<.Britney Spears> Oh yes it is. Because I fucked him right before, Justin did
<.Jessica Simpson> gasp!
<.Jessica Simpson> you selfish bitches!
<.Jessica Simpson> get away from my man
<.Jessica Simpson> he loves me
<.christina aguilera> and i watched and touched myself...cos i so good at that
<.Jessica Simpson> he must have been under the thrall of your whoreness
<.Britney Spears> Maybe, but it's me he wants to fuck over and over and over again
<.christina aguilera> no, he just needed to get some cos you so frigid...
<.Britney Spears> When I slap my crotch.. that's a message to all my "men"
<.christina aguilera> britney...you aint *that* good..i mean, i know that thing between us was a drunk mistake and i didnt want to hurt your feelings, but i was faking...
<.Jessica Simpson> they'll never be your's
<.Britney Spears> That was not faking. You can not fake passing out that well
<.Britney Spears> Oh. I don't want him. I'm just using him
<.christina aguilera> lol, i can! i'm a great actress...and brit..that tape of you and prince william...very interesting..
<.christina aguilera> you trying to become queen or something??
<.Britney Spears> And Christina. I know you want me again. I've gotten the phone calls from your agent.. I know..
<.Jessica Simpson> christina...ever thought about cutting down on the lip liner?
<.christina aguilera> no, i need it..i need it all..i'm naked without using a whole lip liner pencil before i leave the house...
<.Britney Spears> Prince William. What a bore. "Is this an erection? No? How about now?" Gawd, it took so long.. "Where do I put it?"
<.christina aguilera> and no! i dont want it again...and lol!! oh god.....
<.Britney Spears> Have you considered a lip reduction?
<.christina aguilera> you stay away from 'willie' in both sense of the word!
<.Jessica Simpson> lmao
<.Jessica Simpson> you of all people would be a pro about...erections brit
<.Britney Spears> Yes, I am. Thank you
<.christina aguilera> lip reduction? bigger is always better..as i guess you would know brit..
<.Britney Spears> William would never touch you, Chrissy
<.Britney Spears> Breasts. Dear. It's all about cleavage
<.christina aguilera> she has a book with 'information' about every guy she ever been with..fascinating read...
<.Britney Spears> And I'm nowhere near done.
<.christina aguilera> and he would so!! i'll just pout and wearing almost nothing..
<.Jessica Simpson> prince william and I are pals
<.Jessica Simpson> we have never done ANYTHING wrong
<.Jessica Simpson> Brit's the slut with him
<.Britney Spears> No? Then why all the rumours of backdoor fucking, *sweetie*?
<.christina aguilera> 'pals'?? in the 'we screwed till dawn way' or the 'oh so innocent' way?
<.Jessica Simpson> I guess it just shows...brit gives him the fucking, I give him the intelligent conversation
<.Jessica Simpson> can't have both I suppose <.christina aguilera> what do i give him?
<.Jessica Simpson> a headache?
<.Britney Spears> I read Poe to him, thank you very much.
<.Britney Spears> lol
<.christina aguilera> *whines* dont be mean...
<.Jessica Simpson> brit...poe never wrote "fuck me, fuck me now!"
<.Britney Spears> Alright. Alright. I just shouted Poe.. Didn't want anyone to know who I was doing
<.Britney Spears> lol
<.christina aguilera> lol, no..thats brit's autobiography...
<.Jessica Simpson> brit doesn't have an autobiography
<.Jessica Simpson> she can't write more than a sentence
<.Britney Spears> No. But my boobs are big
<.Jessica Simpson> and that sentence is suprise suprise..."fuck me, fuck me now!"
<.christina aguilera> well...it's just abook she found that seems to fit in with her life...
<.Jessica Simpson> and there are now dancing tampons on the tv
<.Britney Spears> Jessica? Are you hinting at something? Do you want me to come over and give you a few pointers?
<.Britney Spears> Oh. I've made stuff dance before.
<.christina aguilera> please..she needs pointed from a professional..
<.Jessica Simpson> god dammit...cash register
<.Britney Spears> *sighs, remembering Enrique*
<.Britney Spears> lol
<.Jessica Simpson> oh yes, enrique
<.Jessica Simpson> I ran into him while I was on tour
<.Jessica Simpson> he's very big...
<.Britney Spears> Were you naked?
<.christina aguilera> your breasts?? they about the only part of you that do dance well enough to merit mention..not that i would have noticed..
<.Jessica Simpson> on conversation
<.Britney Spears> Nice cover Jessica
<.Britney Spears> He told me all about you
<.Jessica Simpson> what did he say?
<.Britney Spears> And my breasts are well trained
<.christina aguilera> ok...so..i cant spell...my hands kinda cramped..it was..'busy' earlier with...well, you dont need the details..
<.Britney Spears> What a good fuck you were, how flexible you were.. how you screamed.
<.Jessica Simpson> feeling yourself up again, huh?
<.Britney Spears> No, Christina, we don't need details
<.christina aguilera> he was talking about ME
<.christina aguilera> of course..i'm addicted to....i mean, no...
<.Britney Spears> Not this time. Tho, he did mention you when I was bent over backward
<.Jessica Simpson> no
<.christina aguilera> what? shouted my name, huh? i was THAT good....
<.Jessica Simpson> I have a chastity belt
<.Jessica Simpson> really
<.Britney Spears> And every guy out there has a key
<.Jessica Simpson> no
<.Britney Spears> No one shouts your name Christina.
<.Jessica Simpson> just my boyfriend
<.Jessica Simpson> but he...hid it
<.Britney Spears> Only you do
<.Britney Spears> Yeah. Right. He made copies.
<.christina aguilera> i used to...but the key...got lost...its actually rather painful...
<.Britney Spears> lol
<.Jessica Simpson> hahahaha
<.Jessica Simpson> it got lost??
<.Jessica Simpson> I so don't want to know
<.Jessica Simpson> you really DO feel yourself up too much
<.christina aguilera> no, you really don't...maybe when i have a kid they'll get it for me..
<.Britney Spears> lmao
<.Jessica Simpson> hahaha
<.christina aguilera> there is no such thing as too much...
<.Britney Spears> Not at all
<.Britney Spears> We should all get together with our boyfriends, and meet in a hotel. Put aside petty differences for one night of hard core fucking.
<.christina aguilera> just cos every waking minute i'm not singing, staring at my naked self in the mirror or screwing some cute famous person i touch myself, does not make it too much...
<.Britney Spears> Whatta ya girls say?
<.Jessica Simpson> yeah...
<.Jessica Simpson> but there's one problem
<.Jessica Simpson> christina's such a whore she can't get a boyfriend
<.Britney Spears> Give me that virgin line one more time....
<.Britney Spears> Fine.
<.Jessica Simpson> and yeah, I AM a virgin
<.Britney Spears> Whoever she's scewing at the moment.. will work
<.christina aguilera> sure, i'll bring the chains, whips, etc etc..did i mention i'm a dominatrix?
<.Jessica Simpson> I know, it's hard to believe since i'm 32
<.Jessica Simpson> but I'm saving myself for the love of my life
<.Britney Spears> lol
<.christina aguilera> ohh...that would be brad pitt..jen just aint living up to his expectations...
<.Britney Spears> Christina. Those sound great.
<.christina aguilera> call me mistress
<.Britney Spears> Brad. I love it when he roars...
<.Jessica Simpson> uh
<.Britney Spears> And when you're spanking me, call me a bitch.
<.christina aguilera> no problemo...it my favourite name for you anways
<.Jessica Simpson> such language
<.Jessica Simpson> eesh
<.Jessica Simpson> my virgin-ness can't handle it
<.Britney Spears> Stuff it Jess
<.Jessica Simpson> I'm sooooo innocent
<.Jessica Simpson> you're just jealous because everyone thinks you're a slut
<.Britney Spears> Jessica. Honey. I'm still reeling from that week ago. When you and I... ..
<.christina aguilera> ohh..admit it jess..this conversation has made you wanna go home, find nick and just.........well, i'll leave that up to you 'innocent' imaginaion
<.Jessica Simpson> I don't know what you're talking about
<.Britney Spears> Yes you do.
<.Jessica Simpson> yes Christina. I want to go home, find nick, and talk to him about poetry.
<.Britney Spears> You still scream my name out at night. I know you do
<.Jessica Simpson> I have never screamed anyone's name
<.christina aguilera> yes you do, heard all about that....you didnt realise the phone was off the hook did you??? brit 'accidently' didnt hang up from when i was talking to her..you scream a lot jess...
<.Jessica Simpson> I am pure
<.christina aguilera> yeah..and so am i!
<.Britney Spears> Jessica. No tabloids are here. You can talk freely.
<.Jessica Simpson> hahahahaha....no
<.Britney Spears> Remember
<.christina aguilera> we're all pure goddamn virgins....
<.Jessica Simpson> I am talking freely
<.Jessica Simpson> I never lie either
<.christina aguilera> never think a wrong thought....
<.Jessica Simpson> I don't know why I'm not a nun
<.Britney Spears> I know I'm a fucking virgin
<.christina aguilera> oh please..i know all about your nun fantasies...
<.Britney Spears> If you want you can play a nun when we get together, Jessie
<.Jessica Simpson> okay! then we can all read scripture!
<.christina aguilera> i'm a virgin too..pure as...really unpure water..
<.christina aguilera> youre not getting the concept here!
<.Britney Spears> Well, I do plan on having you scream the lord's name, if that's what you mean
<.Jessica Simpson> sure I get the concept...
<.christina aguilera> then we could rea the porn lovers bible...
<.Jessica Simpson> I can teach you all the right way
<.christina aguilera> porn
<.Jessica Simpson> you'll see that you don't need deviant sex
<.christina aguilera> i could rub you the right way
<.Jessica Simpson> no, no rubbing
<.Britney Spears> And I could hit you...in all the right spots
<.christina aguilera> but..it's in my song! i like to use my work!
<.christina aguilera> *shakes her head* jess, jess, jess....why wont you just admit you want it??
<.Britney Spears> She will soon enough
<.Jessica Simpson> because I don't
<.Jessica Simpson> I don't need it
<.Jessica Simpson> I'm saving myself
<.Britney Spears> Jessica. I've just phoned Nick and he's hard...err I mean game
<.christina aguilera> then you're a freak..
<.Jessica Simpson> hmm
<.christina aguilera> everyone needs it..please.....i need at least 15 happys a day or i go crazy..
<.Britney Spears> Well they don't call you loose lips, cuz you talk to much.. eh?
<.Jessica Simpson> I think you're lying brit
<.Britney Spears> Not about this
<.Jessica Simpson> yes
<.christina aguilera> no..she's not..i can see nick thriough my window...he's definatly...game..
<.Britney Spears> lol
<.Britney Spears> He's so easy to please
<.Jessica Simpson> excuse me
<.christina aguilera> and oh my god? i now understadn why you won't do it with him..i
mean..god..talk about small...
<.Jessica Simpson> I'm kind of...busy...
<.Jessica Simpson> yeah...
<.Jessica Simpson> that's only because you're so far away from him
<.Britney Spears> He might be small.. but he knows how to move
<.Jessica Simpson> he's very adequate...not that I KNOW
<.Britney Spears> Of course not...
<.christina aguilera> oh no..you're just...psychic?
<.Jessica Simpson> yup
<.Jessica Simpson> how'd you know chris?
<.Jessica Simpson> gosh, you're not as dumb as I'd thought
<.christina aguilera> you thought i was dumb?? *sobs*
<.Jessica Simpson> well...
<.Jessica Simpson> it is kind of the impression you give
<.Britney Spears> When it comes to fucking, Christina has the knowledge
<.christina aguilera> that's just for show..i'm actully very smart..
<.Britney Spears> I will admit, she taught me a move or two
<.Jessica Simpson> hahahahaha
<.Jessica Simpson> actually smart
<.Jessica Simpson> I doubt it
<.christina aguilera> yeah....you have hurt anyone doing...that thing i taught you have you?
<.christina aguilera> haven't
<.christina aguilera> please...i'm way smarter than you jess
<.Britney Spears> lol. I almost hurt Jack Lemmon.. but that might be because he's so old
<.christina aguilera> brb
<.Jessica Simpson> eww
<.Jessica Simpson> you're THAT desperate?
<.Britney Spears> It wasn't me who was desperate
<.Britney Spears> We met at Cannes.. and well one thing lead to another
<.Jessica Simpson> uh
<.Jessica Simpson> please don't tell me anymore
<.Britney Spears> Jealous?
<.christina aguilera> brit....i did give you the warning about that move..never on anyone who you think might be..fragile..
<.Jessica Simpson> hardly
<.Britney Spears> I know. I know. But I thought he could handle it.
<.Britney Spears> I mean you know that him and Walter were doing it.. and he's a heavy guy
<.christina aguilera> it didnt go a strange color did it?
<.Britney Spears> No. We stopped before it got to that point <.Jessica Simpson> alrighty, I need to go to bed...BY MYSELF
<.christina aguilera> ahh...good..cos..its not fun trying to explain that to a doctor..
<.Jessica Simpson> my boyfriend is waiting for me
<.Jessica Simpson> because I'm an innocent virgin
<.Britney Spears> You'll be screaming my name later Jess
<.Jessica Simpson> will not
<.Britney Spears> That I am sure of
<.christina aguilera> go jump him!
<.Jessica Simpson> no no no
<.Jessica Simpson> no
<.christina aguilera> no, she's got enough of a brain to get the name right at least...
<.Britney Spears> Yes, yes yes
<.christina aguilera> unlike you miss 'ohhh...PAMELA' when i was....with you..
<.Jessica Simpson> okay you two
<.Jessica Simpson> I'll talk to you both later
<.Britney Spears> Yes. You will
<.Jessica Simpson> and I'll try to avoid listening to your music
<.Jessica Simpson> don't want to get ill, you know?
<.christina aguilera> night jess *showbiz kisses*
<.Britney Spears> *walks up to Jessica and shoves tongue down throat* Night
<.christina aguilera> no, i quite understand..i don't like my music either
<.Jessica Simpson> pfft
<.Jessica Simpson> ugh
<.Jessica Simpson> get away from me
<.Britney Spears> I haven't gotten off today.
<.Britney Spears> Sorry
<.christina aguilera> silly girl..
<.Jessica Simpson> that's not MY problem
<.Jessica Simpson> gawd
<.Britney Spears> But you're pretty
<.Britney Spears> Almost as pretty as I am
<.christina aguilera> and way more pretty than i...i mean, nothing compared to me..
<.Britney Spears> lol

Note: thanks for the submission Heather...and also for adding all the .'s and <*br>'s for me :)

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