Doyle / Doyley


Doyle

Where is everyone? There's nobody to talk to. (NT)


Doyley

I want to talk to you about something. (NT)


Doyle

Okay, how about Denmark? (NT)


Doyley

Why? (NT)


Doyle

Oh I already have a topic in mind. (NT)


Doyley

Do you ever wonder why no one wants to talk to you? (NT)


Doyle

No. Why? (NT)


Doyley

You're only the deadest man in Deadonia. (NT)


Doyle

Doyle est non morti, damnatus! (NT)


Doyley

People don't feel sympathy for you. (NT)


Doyle

Yes they do. (NT)


Doyley

If you become a hobo, no one would give you money...

You would go, "Pleeeease?" and then someone would throw an empty can at you. Then you would say, "Is there any drink left in it?" Stranger: "No, it has cyanide in it." And that's how you die. And nobody would care.


Doyle

The board peeps would care! (NT)


Doyley

The board peeps! The board peeps don't like you - they don't care! (NT)


Doyle

They do! They do care! (NT)


Doyley

They think you're boring! (NT)


Doyle

No! No! They're my friends. (NT)


Doyley

*laughs* You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you... (NT)


Doyle

Not listening - not listening - (NT)


Doyley

I've heard your "friends" say things like...

"Doyle does naughty things with his hand in his pocket." and "Doyle's as dull as a table lamp."


Doyle

No!!!!!! (NT)


Doyley

What's that you say? Gay porn with Mr Pervey? (NT)


Doyle

Go away! (NT)


Doyley

(mocking) Go away...Ha! Ha! Ha! (NT)


Doyle

I hate you...I hate you... (NT)


Doyley

You make us sick...where would you be without me? *coughs up a hairball* (NT)


Doyle

Leave me alone! (NT)


Doyley

There's that word again. What you are. How you'll die. Alone. (NT)


Doyle

Then I'll die. (NT)


Doyley

You don't have the strength to kill yourself. (NT)


Doyle

I don't need strength. I just need the sun to rise. (NT)


Doyley

You're not supposed to die. This isn't the plan. But it'll do...oh shit! If you die, you'll kill me as well! (NT)


Doyle

*climbs hill and stands at the top looking out over the peaceful board* (NT)


Doyley

Doyle, please. I need for you to get inside. There's only a few minutes left. (NT)


Doyle

I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes. (NT)


Doyley

Really? I didn't know you could do that. Anyways, I don't have time for this. You just have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you... (NT)


Doyle

It wasn't haunting me. It was showing me. (NT)


Doyley

Showing you? (NT)


Doyle

What I am. (NT)


Doyley

Were. (NT)


Doyle

And ever shall be. I wanted to know why nobody was talking to me. Now I do. (NT)


Doyley

You *don't* know. Your vicious dark side says that everyone on the board doesn't like you and thinks you're boring and you just buy it? You just give up? (NT)


Doyle

I can't do it again, Doyley. I can't become lonely. (NT)


Doyley

Then be interesting. (NT)


Doyle

It's too hard. (NT)


Doyley

(pleadingly) You have the power to be amusing, to make people laugh. *raises voice* But if you die now, then all you ever were was insipid. (NT)


Doyle

*looks out at the sky as it begins to lighten* (NT)


Doyley

(begging frantically) Doyle, please, the sun is comming up! (NT)


Doyle

Just go. (NT)


Doyley

I can only go if you go. (NT)


Doyle

I said LEAVE! *shoves self away, falls face forward, hard to the ground* Oh my God... (NT)


Doyley

Are you the bad Doyle now? Am *I* the good Doyle now? (NT)


Doyle

*grabs self roughly by the arms and holds firm* Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a funny man? The world wants me gone! (NT)


Doyley

(tearfully) What about me? I hate you so much. I tried to make you go away and look where it got me...

I'm facing my own demise at *your* hands. And I hate it! I hate that it's *so* hard for you to be the least bit interesting...and that you can kill me. *sobs* I know every boring thing you said because you said it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't - mainly because if you die, I die too.


Doyle

Doyley, please. Just this once...let me be strong. (NT)


Doyley

Strong is living. It's hard, it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do...

And we can do it together - pretty much because we're stuck with each other.


Doyle

*struggles with self, knowing Doyley's right* (NT)


Doyley

(resolvedly) But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn...

If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do *not* expect me to watch. And *don't* expect me to mourn for you - I'll be too busy mourning for myself - because...


Doyle

What are you talking about? (NT)


Doyley

You comming up here, the suns rays charbroiling us! (NT)


Doyle

I'm not a vampire. (NT)


Doyley

Oh. Right. Then why were you waiting for the sun to rise? (NT)


Doyle

Doyley, listen to me. Listen: I don't like you. I will never like you. This is something I have to do...

Tell Sil, tell Sil I figured it out, and I'm okay. Give my regards to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Like you said, Doyley, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live...for me.


Doyley

If I could just get a word in edgewise... (NT)


Doyle

*turns and runs to the end of the cliff, and does a swan dive* (NT)


Doyley

Nooooooooooooo!!! (NT)


Doyle

*is sprawled on the piles of rubble, limp in death* (NT)


silver

lmfao!

i mean....

*mourns*

heh...i knew you were going to aim for the Gollum angle, but i was surprised by the "amends" bits. even more so for "the gift" bits. hee.

you *are* a funny man. not funny and discombobulated, 'cause that's qc. but funny, nonetheless.

;)


Xander

*stands around and doesn't cry, 'cause he's a bastard* (NT)


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