Board of the Rings
by: Doyle
Date Posted: 06:46:09 08/11/02 Sun
aka Board "Jerkoff" Of The "Long Finger" Rings. Yeah...this'll make more sense if you've read qc's "Oh, my." post).
The cemetery. Doyle is sitting on top of a gravestone, playing with a yo-yo. Bracken approaches him from behind.
Bracken: "Hey."
Doyle: (Startled) "Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or...yodel. What do you want anyway?"
Bracken: "I wanna know how I was killed at the end of �Board Now."
Doyle: "Does it really matter?"
Bracken: "Yes. To me it does. Now tell me."
Doyle: "Fine. You were shot in the head."
Bracken: "With what?"
Doyle: "A bullet."
Bracken: "So B killed me by shooting me?"
Doyle: "Duh."
Bracken: "How'd she get hold of a gun?"
Doyle: "Who cares?!"
Bracken: "I care."
Anya: "I thrusted from "Long Finger" Fingers/ your school has no bangs team/ this is a fomping last resort!"
"Blood and Guts" Silver: "No! No pornolizing!"
Gollum: "My precious."
Silver: "That's it! You're going on the torture rack, Freaky Gollum freak!"
Doyle: "What are you gonna do? Kill him?"
Silver: "As a matter of fact...yes. But since I'm not gonna kill him any time soon, the question becomes...how are we gonna pass the time till then?"
(While Silver tortures Gollum).
Anya: "I'm pregnant. I tried to kill myself last night."
"Just tell me where to put it" Doyle: "Word down."
Glory: "I got a huge gangbanging snake heading for my groin."
Doyle: "I'm excited!"
Swedish "Buttplug" Bob: "I love showering with a dog."
Dru: "I gangbanged up a banging magazine."
Gollum: "Shire! Baggins!"
"Long Finger" Doyle: "Poor Gollum."
Silver: "I told you, he's gotten old and twisted and fucked up by the ring...he doesn't feel anything."
"Gargantuan dick" Gollum: "Shitbox! Baggins!"
Silver: "Stop that!"
"Give it to me" Bracken: *dripps*.
Swedish "Asshole": "There must be an assfucking way to put a stop to all this."
"Fuck me for a buck" Liz: "There is. If some assfucking freakishly sucked siamese twin can get hold of an enchanted sword, we'll be saved."
Doyle: "Uh...felchs. Where's qc?"
Swedish "Up the Arse" Bob: "Shafting a moose."
Dru: "There must be an enchanted sword smith around *somewhere* that's open for a screwing hour."
Bracken: "I like the gangbanging idea of an hour."
Doyle: "There's not a lot of enchanted gangbangs open on Sunday."
"Enormous Penis" Legolas: "Never fear, because I have totally thrusted sword!"
Liz: "That's deep throating great, Legolas, that you have an enchanted sword. Now use it to free us from this gangbanged pornolizing!"
"Superdick" Legolas: "There is but one problem: I can only use this enchanted sword to lift the pornolizing curse from *one* of you assfucks." *Wad pulls*.
Silver: "Go "Bastard" to hell!"
Swedish "The-Champ" Bob: "He'll no doubt use the sword on Strider."
Doyle: "Why?"
Silver: "I told you, he'm love him."
Doyle: "But deep throating Strider isn't even here! What about the creaming rest of us?! Take the whammy off *us*, Legolas!"
"Anal" Legolas: "Sorry, fistfucks, but the sword was never raunched."
Liz: "Hey!" *licks*.
Silver: "What do you felching mean the sword was never enchanted?!"
Bracken: "Hey, anyone else notice that Dru hasn't squirted in a while? Where is she??"
Silver: ""Dickwad", my skills include (but are not limited to) torture, inflicting massive amounts of pain and keeping you awake while I do it."
"Son of a whore" Legolas: "There is but one way I can put an end to all this: I swallow everything that has happened after Bracken said, "I care." as if it never happened."
Bracken: *mild barfs*
Liz: "Since when did Sir Fuckface become an asslicks Oracle?? Btw, I *meant* to call you "Sir Fuckface"."
"Jar Jar" Silver: "But...that means I won't be able to remember the satisfaction I experienced from torturing Gollum!"
"Pimp Mastah" Doyle: "I fear you. Besides! Let's put it to a vote, shall we? All in favour of Legolas giving us back the day say aye. Aye. Motion passed. He swallows the day."
Silver: "I'll never "Bitch". I'll never forget. I'll never forget. I'll never forget."
White flash dissolves to Bracken approaching Doyle in the cemetery.
Bracken: "Hey."
Doyle: (Startled) "Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or...yodel. What do you want anyway?"
Bracken: "Is this a bad time?"
Doyle: "Well, I was kinda expecting Angel to show."
Bracken: "You were waiting in a cemetery *alone* for Angel to show up?...Is it me or, does that sound just a wee bit suspicious?"
Doyle: "No, it's, uh, it's not you."
Bracken: *Sneezes*.
Doyle: "Here, take my snot rag."
Bracken: "Your what?"
Doyle: "Hankerchief."
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