And now, for his very first performance at the new board, my personal good friend, our renegade mascotte: Bo!
Bo: thank you! thank you! you're too kind!
*applause dies down*
Tonight we will be listening to the various random things that come along in this post. you see? you will. Yes, tonights topic is 'humans'. You silly, silly humans...
In order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.
Humans are strange creatures. What is it that makes a complete stranger dive into an icy river to save a solid gold baby? We'll probably never know.
And they're so unpredictable. If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone. And so on and on... you just can't peg them down...
On top of that, humans have all these weird emotions. like embarrassment, it pops up in the strangest situations... If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you...
*silence*
Fear. Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."
*more silence*
But what is being human all about? consumation, indeed. You need all kinds of stuff. Like wood. I mean, if trees could scream, would you be so cavalier about cutting them down? You might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
But through it all, humans stay ruthless. I read that when the archaeologists dug down into the ancient cemetary, they found fragments of *human bones*! What kind of barbarians were these people, anyway?
But I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
Yes, humans all want to be god in their own little universe. I'll be the first to admit that my idea of God is pretty different. I believe in a God with a long white beard, a gold crown, and a long robe with lots of shiny jewels on it. He sits on a big throne in the clouds, and He's about five hundred feet tall. He talks in a real deep voice like "I...AM...GOD!" He can blow up stuff just by looking at it. This is my own, personal idea of God...
Yeah, humans love to feel superior. You tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But you can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys you.
*alex signals from the side*
Bo: my time for tonight is up. Thank you, you've been a great audience. Goodnight, and remember: I'd rather be rich than stupid.