Baby Lenin
a.k.a. "Which is exactly why you should go study."
Thanks to qc for saving this chat!
Liz: qc! How ya been?! Long time no chat
qc: heya!
Liz: What's up with you, chica?
qc: delaying study for an exam that I have tomorrow morning :-D
Liz: eesh, what's it in?
qc: modern Russian history
qc: which I also did for 2 years at high school
qc: and yet I can't remember a damned thing about it!
Liz: Eek, sounds like a lot of not fun
qc: *bashes head against table*
qc: oh, it is
qc: if only I'd been paying some sort of attention this semester... sigh
Liz: I remember saying the same thing to myself every semester
qc: hee
qc: totally
Liz: "this sememster I'll pay attention!"
qc: oh yeah
Liz: Of course, I was also always saying "Okay, next semester I'll actually do the homework!"
qc: heh, me too
Liz: Sigh. I've always been slackass.
qc: ya
qc: I usually get better resukats when I do everything at the last minute
qc: although I think that studying would definitely help in this case
Liz: Like, I would write term papers using the table of contents, the blurb on the back of the book, and the introduction
qc: heee
qc: yeah
Liz: But then, I also got excellent resukats doing that
qc: resukats? I want some@
qc: !
Liz: Hey, you're the one who brought 'em up - I just hopped on the resukatty bandwagon
qc: did I? heh
Liz: Yeah, not only am I slackass, I'm also an unrepentant smartass
qc: oh, I can tell that I'm going to go well in this exam ; )
Liz: My ass is many things
qc: heh
Liz: But it is not pansy!
qc: lol
Liz: How long do you have to study for it?
qc: erm... it's in about 14 hours' time
Liz: Eek. Probably a need for sleep in the interim too, huh?
qc: ya
Liz: So what are ya doing chatting to my multitalented ass?!
Liz: Study!
qc: having a good time!
qc: noooo
Liz: Ah, but if you don't do well, you'll curse me and my ass for being so darned amusing ;-)
Liz: And stop talking about my ass!
qc: I would never do that!
qc: I'll never do *that* either
qc: :p
Liz: lol!
qc: *talks about Liz's arse some more*
Liz: :-*
qc: hee
Liz: :-D
qc: :-!
qc: that one's so fucked
Liz: lol, I know! Is he drunk? sleepy? stupid? burping?
qc: lol
qc: I think he has foot in mouth disease
Liz: he just might
qc: well, I guess I should abandon your arse to the joys of pretending to study
Liz: Sigh, I am sad, but I understand
qc: heh
Liz: work that Russian history!!
qc: ooh yeah
Liz: WooHOO!!!
qc: go Lenin, go Lenin
qc: *does a little dance*
Liz: it's yer birthday! go Lenin!
qc: lol
Liz: I used to have the coolest pin ever
Liz: it was a small black and white baby picture of him, set in a red star
qc: lol
qc: groovy
qc: *wants one*
Liz: Yeah, and now it's gone - that pin was too damn cool - plus, I scammed it off a guy with my feminine wiles, which made it all the more cool
qc: lmao
Liz: Yeah, I was a summer camper, he was a counselor, we had many illicit tickles and improper flirtation :-*
qc: hee
qc: and he gave you a baby Lenin pin
qc: how romantic
Liz: Then I saw him again a few years later - he was an RA in a dorm
qc: lol
Liz: Nah, not romantic - hormone-y
qc: hee
Liz: (do you have RA's?)
qc: nah
qc: what does it stand for again, anyhow? I can't remember
qc: eek, my hair's dirty
Liz: Okey - Resident Advisor - older guy in a college dorm who's kind of a "big brother - slash - authority figure" type
Liz: I don't mind, it's still lovely
qc: cool
qc: aww
qc: maybe Lenin had dirty hair
Liz: So I was visiting a friend at her college and ran into him
qc: actually, he didn't have hair
qc: I take it back
qc: heh
Liz: not as a baby, or as a grown dude - ah, symmetry
qc: funny how you can keep running into people
qc: lol
Liz: (edited at the prompting of qc)
qc: lmao
Liz: Hee!! :-*
qc: you do realise that I'm going to be giving some weirdarse answers in this exam tomorrow
Liz: (edited at the prompting of qc)
qc: lol
Liz: lol!
Liz: (edited, blah blah)
qc: but of course
Liz: (edited, blah blah)
qc: *giggles maniacally*
Liz: (yup, edited)
qc: lmao
Liz: (last one, but yep, edited ;)
qc: lol
Liz: Which is exactly why you should go study now.
qc: lmapo
qc: lol
qc: lampo!
Liz: Hee!
qc: I have no idea what I'm saying now.
Liz: teyho!
qc: But Lenin's telling me to stay and chat.
Liz: Ah, but baby Lenin's crying out for him to be a nicer guy
qc: He think's that you're one foxy chick
qc: lmao
Liz: "Dooon't make me grow up to be a mean guy who crushes spirits and makes cute chicks fail their tests about me!!!"
qc: shit... I just managed to smack myself in the mouth with my necklace. Hee.
qc: lmao
Liz: Yikes!!
Liz: You just know sometime during your test tomorrow...
qc: *channels Stalin* Ilyich, honey... come back to bed. It's so cold without you....
Liz: you'll be thinking about an answer... LOLOLOLOL!!!
Liz: you'll be thinking about an answer, and baby Lenin will appear over your shoulder and start cooing out the answers
Liz: and you'll find it terribly creepy, yet oddly comforting at the same time
Liz: Which is exactly why you should go study.
qc: lmao
qc: (sorry, was talking to mum)
qc: I am *so* gonna crack up in the middle of this fucking exam
Liz: lol, did she say you should go study?
qc: heh - ya
Liz: lol, I hope so :-D
qc: then I'll start screaming that baby Lenin is cooing to me, like some American chick said he would
qc: I'm sure it'll go down really well
Liz: And you can thank the crazyass chick in America when the class turns and says "Aah, yes, just as we thought"
Liz: LOL
qc: lmao
Liz: Of course, I'll probably be asleep at the time and won't hear your cries
Liz: But baby Lenin will call to me "She's cracked! She neeeeeds yoooou!!!"
qc: I'm sure that baby Lenin will cry loud enough for you to hear
qc: LMFAO
Liz: And I'll tell him that you don't need me, that the magic was inside you all the time.
qc: okay, this is scary
qc: hee
Liz: Dude, i've had way too much freaking coffee tonite
Liz: Which is exactly why you should go study.
qc: at least you have an excuse
qc: you have so many reasons as to why I should study
Liz: Yes, I really do.
qc: maybe my not studying is a reason for you not to drink coffee
Liz: Which is exactly why you should go study.
qc: *clamps hands over ears* it's a good thing I can't hear you.
qc: *is not about to go study*
Liz: You so don't wanna hear it from me - I'm obnoxious.
qc: although it'll be teatime soon, anyhow
qc: and I'm not?
Liz: And WIRED on caffeine
qc: mmm, maybe I should go buy five litres of coke, and stay up all night
qc: Coke, that is
qc: not coke
Liz: Ah, teatime! Now I'm seeing a lovely garden scene with you, baby Lenin, Drusilla, and the White Rabbit all having imaginary tea
qc: *wishes she was alive in the days when Coke had actual coke in it*
qc: lmao
Liz: And Miss Edith can't have any tea cuz she was naughty
qc: she deserves a spanking
qc: rrruff
Liz: lol, yeah, scaryass coke
Liz: She really does.
Liz: Which is exactly why you should go study.
qc: totally
qc: except not
Liz: lol
Liz: Ouch, it hurts! The laughing!
qc: Baby Lenin is freaking me out, man
qc: the plane! the plane!
Liz: Aww, but he's digging you baby!
Liz: I loved that show.
qc: digging my academic grave, maybe
qc: he's no help at all *pouts*
Liz: Yeah, which is exactly... yadda yadda.
qc: yeah, yeah
Liz: Aw, but he'll be there for you tomorrow in your exam, and that's what counts.
qc: *sticks shovel in baby Lenin's head*
Liz: HEY!
qc: I have a disturbing lack of faith in Baby Lenin's abilities
qc: YOU!
Liz: No way did you just do that!
qc: get offa my cloud!
qc: you're right, I didn't
qc: it was a rake :-D
Liz: Ah, but it's not about "his" abilities, it's about him showing you your true abilities.
qc: lmao
Liz: grumbling damnit :-!
qc: hee
Liz: Remember, cuz the magic was in you all the time!
qc: oh, it was
qc: then I killed it
Liz: magic and tea and Miss Edith
qc: and it was gone, gone, gone
qc: with the wind
Liz: You killed the magic? You can never kill the magic, just turn your heart to stone
qc: where the deer and the antelope play
qc: lol
qc: *gives Care Bear Stare*
Liz: *gives Care Bear hair!*
qc: eek!
qc: you don't hate me that much, do you?
qc: *puts hair on baby Lenin*
Liz: Never
Liz: See, that's exactly what I was hoping you'd do.
qc: lol
qc: And that's why I should go study, hmm?
Liz: With your magic and teacakes and garden tools, you make quite the amazing gal
Liz: Damn straight!
qc: ooh yeah
Liz: Well, baby Lenin thinks so - you're amazing and should study
qc: I think I'll just go in tomorrow and throw cold chicken and spinach sausages at my tutor
Liz: Cuz if you don't, he'll keep you awake all night with his cooing
qc: lmao
qc: I'm gonna have nightmares tonight, man
Liz: Well, I'd give you high marks for creativity there, but I'm afraid it would still only be partial credit
qc: *baby Lenin* Woooooooooooorldwide revoluuuuuuuution
Liz: Aww, but he just wants a huuuggg!!!
qc: better than nothing
Liz: lol
qc: aww *hugs widdle baby Lenin*
qc: hope he doesn't bite
Liz: Never
qc: he's such a softie
qc: rake prongs just slide right in like butter :-D
Liz: Hey, DAMNIT! Quit it!!
qc: d'oh
qc: *sigh*
Liz: You can never kill baby Lenin!
qc: okay, miss bossypants
qc: dang
Liz: He's all misty and forever!
qc: lol
qc: you *so* know that I'll have to save this chat, right?
qc: maybe I'll just print it out and hand it up
Liz: Dude, I would love to be in your class tomorrow when you finally see baby Lenin over your shoulder during the exam !
Liz: lol, yes!!
qc: lmao
Liz: And the class is all "Damn, what is it?!"
qc: hee
Liz: And you're all "But Liz, she was in the shower, and there was a baby, see, and he had tea and told me to study!"
qc: he should really smite all of the other students for me
qc: lol
Liz: He totally would, if only you'd let him
qc: but I would~
qc: !
Liz: Ah, but first you'd have to let him into your heart
Liz: And that would be seriously gross
qc: Baby Lenin is one mean mutha
qc: lol
Liz: shut your mouth!
qc: hee
qc: ah, well... I don't have a heart, anyhow
qc: another perfectly good plan foiled
Liz: Well, crap. Then there's no other choice.
Liz: You should go study now.
qc: NOOOOOOOO!!
qc: MENDOOOOOOZAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Liz: LOL!!!!!
qc: *yells at ceiling*
Liz: Ooh, you gotta rip your shirt for good measure
qc: that's such a common phrase around this house
qc: hee *rips shirt*
qc: My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
qc: Bye, book.
Liz: the ceiling bit or the MENDOOOZAAA!
Liz: LOL!
qc: the MENDOOOOOOZAAAAAAA!!
Liz: Jimminy Jillikers!
qc: hee
qc: Mein bratwurst has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z
Liz: Now now, Fallout Boy, there's no need to swear
qc: heh
Liz: Haaa!!!
qc: *punches alien*
Liz: OOh, you gotta hear this - I got my husband a Christmas present already!
Liz: It's the best!!!!!
qc: woo!
qc: is it... a Baby Lenin?
Liz: I got him a talking Evil Krusty doll!!!!!!!!!!
qc: lmao
qc: you can BUY those?
Liz: YES!!!
qc: hee!
qc: as long as it doesn't actually try to kill him, I guess
Liz: And it actually has the little switch on the back you can switch from good to evil!
qc: unless that's part of the plan
qc: lmao
Liz: Curses, you've found me out!
qc: muahaha
qc: don't worry, I'll never tell :-D
Liz: excellent *rubs hands together*
qc: hee
Liz: Smithers: "Shall I send out for some Chinese?"
Liz: Burns: "No, those people are all gristle."
qc: or what, you'll set the dogs on me? or the bees? or the dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
qc: lmao
qc: *loves Burns... not like that*
Liz: BWA, I loved that!
Liz: hee
qc: I love the whole Smithers/Burns thing
qc: hee
Liz: Yeah, me too
Liz: Hey, you didn't get this year's Simpsons Halloween special yet, did you?
qc: and that's why I should go study.
qc: um... probably not
qc: I haven't been watching many new eps lately
Liz: Ah-HA! Exactly!
Liz: *gasp!*
qc: I stopped watching when it started to go downhill, and I can never remember when the new eps are shown
qc: because there's so much simpsons on in the evenings
qc: I'm never sure when the new ones are on
Liz: It went downhill for a year or so, but then there was a really funny season after that point
qc: cool
qc: I'll have to start watching again ; )
Liz: Yay!
qc: *has a party*
qc: *but not a Communist Party*
Liz: I think the point at which the Simpsons becams great was when they realised that the star wasn't Bart, it was Homer
qc: totally
Liz: lol, baby Lenin's a party all by himself!
qc: hee
qc: that he is
Liz: He's like, the daddy of the whole party thing!
qc: there's a baby Lenin in my mouth, and everyone's invited
qc: hell yeah
qc: the original swinger, he is
Liz: Yeekes!
qc: I'm so gonna crack up tomorrow... hee
Liz: He really is
Liz: Dude, I wish I could see it
qc: poor you. Tell ya what... I'll trade places with you
Liz: Like, the moment you realise you can hear baby Lenin blowing kisses to you from the teacher's desk - that's gonna be priceless!
qc: you can sit the exam and be driven crazy by a ghost of the baby of a dead nut
qc: lmao
Liz: See, but then you won't be there for me to enjoy watching
qc: nuts
Liz: lol!
Liz: cashews!
qc: heh
qc: coconuts!
qc: of which I have a loverly bunch
Liz: lol!
qc: they're all hairy and shit
Liz: Ooh, and also?
Liz: Ew.
qc: heh
qc: Baby Lenin, change yer own fucken nappy
Liz: baby Lenin don't need no nappy
qc: damn. Demanding little dictatorial prick, ain;t he?
qc: and I don't need no education
qc: but I'm still getting it, for some reason
Liz: Which is exactly why you should go study.
qc: *waves shovel menacingly*
qc: ack. Don't you hate it when your ears are really itchy all down into your throat?
qc: does that even make any sense?
Liz: Eesh, I hate that!
Liz: Yeah, it does, and I hate it
qc: good
qc: bad
qc: whatever
qc: *sneezes*
Liz: spinach sausage, huh?
qc: what's the bet I'll be just sick enough to screw up the exam, but not to get a med certificate? sigh
qc: ya
qc: I normally don't like spinach, but these are nice
Liz: I've never had - sounds yum, though
qc: yeah, they don't actually taste anything like spinach ; )
Liz: Whoa. Mindblowing.
qc: mum's making mashed potato, which is the main thing
qc: that it is
Liz: Mmm! Damnit, now I'm hungry!!
qc: my mind is blown, I can't do the exam
Liz: Iiiii want mashed potato!
qc: have some more caffeine
Liz: Ah, but remember, the magic is inside you all along, damnit!
qc: I'll get Baby Lenin to whip you up a meal
qc: magic is eeeeeeeeeeevil
Liz: Excellent! He is SUCH the good cook!
qc: as is Baby Lenin
qc: and exams
qc: but yes, he's a faboo cook
Liz: Exams are evil.
Liz: Evil must be defeated.
qc: *burns down uni*
Liz: Which is exactly why you should... you know.
qc: blah
Liz: Well, okay, that's one way to handle it
qc: but then I'm just playing their game!
qc: ya
qc: our uni is the most critically underfunded uni in Australia. Yeehaa!
Liz: Yeah, but they don't have the ghost of a Communist infant cooing in their ears to help them.
qc: blah
Liz: Wow, what a special thrill!
qc: it's not all it's cracked up to be
qc: oh yeah, I'm proud of my uni
qc: *waves flag*
Liz: *feels hungry*
qc: Baby Lenin, stop picking your nose and make us some pie!
Liz: Hey, what are the chances that you'll go study if I go get something to eat?
qc: heh
qc: rather dim
Liz: See, you just think he's picking his nose - it's actually special ghost baby magic
qc: maybe Baby Lenin will whisper in my ear while I eat
qc: aaaaaaaaaaaaah
qc: *lightbulb goes on over head*
qc: I seeeee
Liz: He just might, if you're really lucky!
qc: ooh
qc: or maybe he'll just summon the Cheka to destroy all traces of the exam papers
qc: and then make some contradictory proclamation about something
Liz: Sneaky - I like it!
qc: it's all good
qc: yes, there's nothing like the secret police to make things... secretive
Liz: Actually, my hunger and cramping fingers are about to force my retreat
qc: heh
Liz: You know, I think you're right
qc: good luck, brave comrade
qc: I am? Go me
Liz: And good fortune to you!
qc: E tu!
qc: and you and you and you
Liz: May you and Baby Lenin enjoy your time together during the exam!
qc: Baby Lenin wishes you good fortune and mashed potatoes
qc: lol
qc: oh, it'll be a blast
Liz: And I love him for it!
qc: we all wuv baby Lenin
Liz: So, you gonna study?
qc: Um... no.
qc: :-D
Liz: Well, damn.
qc: Maybe after tea
Liz: It's outta my hands - enjoy your tea!
qc: thanks!
Liz: and yummy potatoes!
qc: enjoy your food!
qc: yuuuum
Liz: Chat ya later, Gorgeous!
Liz: Bye!
qc: *bids adieu*
qc: Right back atcha!
Liz: :-D
qc: :-D
Liz signed off at 7:42:45 PM.
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