Another Xena Fic Thing
by: Doyle
posted: 08/03/02
qc as qcena
Lavelle as Gablavelle
and Silver as Silmoneus
qcena rides her horse as Gablavelle follows behind.
Gablavelle: "Why do I always have to walk behind your horse, qcena?"
qcena: "You can walk by my horse."
Gablavelle: "Oh that's big of you, qcena."
Before they can argue, they meet a man. A Sales Man(with an obviously fake beard), holding lots of togas.
Silmoneus: "Would you two vestal virgins like to buy a toga?"
qcena: "We're not virgins! And...togas? We don't need no stinkin' togas!"
Silmoneus: "Oh, but these are the finest togas in all of New Zealand...uh...I mean, Greece."
qcena: "Get out of my way, little man."
Gablavelle: "I'll take two."
qcena: "Ugh! Gablavelle don't waste your dinars. He'll rip you off."
Gablavelle: "I.want.toga. Give me toga!"
qcena rolls her eyes and continues riding ahead as Gablavelle pays the man.
Silmoneus: "I think you will be pleased with this toga."
The salesman slips the toga onto Gablavelle.
Gablavelle: "Now I'm truly Greek!"
Silmoneus: "Um...yes. Hey, is your travelling partner qcena the warrior lesbian...I mean, princess?"
Gablavelle admires her toga, not really listening to Silmoneus.
Silmoneus: "Do you think I could travel with you two hot mommas? I think there's a pack of wolves after me and I need protection."
Gablavelle, not really paying attention, says, "Uh-huh". Silmoneus catches up to qcena (who's now talking to herself).
qcena: "Finally! I lost the brat...oh crap, she's caught up with me. Oh wait, you're not Gablavelle! And get away from my horse!"
qcena kicks Silmoneus away as he was trying to get onto her horse.
Silmoneus: "Oh come on. A toga salesman is just what a warrior princess and a retarded bard need."
qcena: *sigh* "Fine. You can travel with us but only until the next village, then I'm cutting you loose."
Silmoneus: "This'll be great! Can I call you "Q"?"
qcena: "No."
They reach a set...er...village and qcena chains her horse to a pillar outside a tavern. She enters, followed by Silmoneus. When she sits down at the bar to order a drink qcena notices Silmoneus sitting next to her.
qcena: (annoyed) "Are you still here?? Creepy little man."
Silmoneus: "I know Heathercles, you know."
qcena: "Oh really."
Silmoneus: "Oh ya! Him and me go way back. Infact, I heard he turned you from being the evil bitch you were into....uhm...the evil bitch you are now...?"
qcena grabs Silmoneus by the toga and throws him across the tavern (we can see the wires). He goes crashing through a wall and lands in a horse trough outside.
As it gets late, qcena begins to wonder where Gablavelle got to. She hears some old men talking about a pack of wolves that have been picking off villages recently and qcena finds herself feeling worried for Gablavelle for the first time in...ever. qcena stands up from her stool and proceeds to fly straight up, crashing through the roof of the tavern. The guy who owns the place yells out after her, "Flying broad! You're paying for that roof!"
As qcena flies (suspended by wires) she looks down and spots Gablavelle fighting off a pack of ravenous wolves (not so much *fighting* as throwing her toga at them so they'll eat it and not her). But the wolves aren't interested in fashion, they want to taste some bard. qcena swoops down and grabs Gablavelle before the wolves can devour her.
Gablavelle: "I got so lost."
qcena: "I found you."
Gablavelle: "Will you always find me?"
qcena: "Don't count on it."
qcena and Gablavelle go flying off into the sunset (then the sunset throws Gablavelle back)
sunset: "Gablavelle? We don't want no stinkin' Gablavelles!"
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