Introduction

As many of you know, our own Bracken has given everyone at Silver's Sanctuary and Alien alter ego. Several weeks ago, I volunteered to write a board fic about the Sanctuary Aliens and I have finished Chapter/Episode I. Here is a list of the Sanctuary Posters who have alien names so far:

Silver-Arlek
Doyle-Relal
Swedish Bob-Jaomna
Bracken--Onara
Starlite-Onazk
Heather-Npoia
Beautyone-Kmpar
Leo-Kano
Liz-Okaalk
Mat-Anarlas
Alex-Tranla
Berry-Ponka
Sophie-Nualr
Drusilla-Kaorl
QC-Oknan

So if you don't have an alien name yet, start pestering Bracken to work her alien-speak mojo.

Anyway, I decided to write this fic, and to be honest I have never written a fic before, so it will probably suck. The basic premise is that um there is a bunch of aliens living together in an apartment building and they will share adventures and stuff. It is sort of a cross between "The Real World" and "Roswell" at least in my mind anyway. As you can see from the list of posters above, there are now quite a few of us at Silver's Sanctuary, and I could not possibly introduce everyone in the first chapter. There are seven characters introduced in Chapter/Episode I.

Throughout the course of the next few chapters/episodes I will have introduced everyone and the plot will begin rolling, so to speak. So, if your character doesn't appear in the first chapter/episode, don't worry. Each character has a unique super power, which will be revealed over the course of the story. I also reserve the right to introduce dues ex machina plot devices. Muhahahaha. So anyway, without further babbling, here is the first episode of the of the adventure I have creatively named The Alien Fic.

~*~*~*~

The Alien Fic

by Clark Elliott, a.k.a. Swedish Bob

Chapter/Episode I "Dinner with Aliens"

~*~*~*~

"What the hell kind of name is ET anyway? As if any self-respecting alien would call itself that?" Onara glanced up from the television to her compatriots who were nodding in agreement.

Relal popped his head up from behind the kitchen counter and retorted with, "but ET didn't speak English. And didn't Elliott and Drew Barrymore give him that name anyway. I mean, I thought his name was unpronounceable or something."

"Ugh, something like that," Arlek felt she had to giver her proverbial two cents worth. "I just wish Hollywood would stop portraying non-Terrans as skeevy little green men with bug-eyes. It's not like we look like that. If they only knew�" She chuckled at her own comment.

Jaomna felt that he should join in on the conversation happening around him. "Well, at least ET and his alien scientist buddies didn't spend the whole movie kidnapping people, taking them to their 'flying saucers' (he pantomimed the quotes for dramatic effect) only to anal probe them and return them an hour later. As if we would really put our instruments up there."

The three others let out a resounding "Ewwwww�"

"Besides," Arlek interrupted, "we could just as easily scan them from a distance anyway. As if kidnapping people would be necessary."

Onara, now sick of the conversation she had begun looked at the television controls. She concentrated on the buttons and began flipping through the channels.

"Hey, I thought we were watching that�," Relal yelled. "It's not over."

"Yeah, but it was getting to the depressing part," Onara answered.

"I have to side with Onara on that one," Arlek answered, "it will be on again�besides don't we have it on tape somewhere?"

"Yes," Jaomna said, coming once-again out of his conversation coma. "It is cabinet in the study under your stereo, Arlek."

"Um, speaking of my stereo, I was going to ask you and I forgot�.But, what the Voarn (an alien whose precise meaning cannot be explained in English) did you do to it anyway?"

"Oh, I adjusted the speakers," Jaomna responded defensively. You don't have to plug them into the wall anymore, they run of tachyon oscillations."

Fearing that an argument was brewing, Onara lifted herself off the couch and walked towards the kitchen. "I think I am going to get up and get a drink. Who wants a cranberry juice?"

"Oh tachyons is it? Fine then, but next time ask before you butcher my appliances."

"I'm sorry, I should have asked first. I just got carried away."

Onara walked into the kitchen and poured a shot of cranberry juice. She returned to the living room sat back down between on the couch the two bickering aliens with her drink. "Ah come on guys don't fight. Want to join me for a drink."

"I hate cranberry juice, and your shot glass looks awfully full to me," Arlek responded, in her maternal voice. She had bad memories of the last time the friends had celebrated with a juice party. She shrugged her shoulders. It was not hat she could stop the others from indulging in the occasional glass but she wished they had cleaned up the mess they made.

"Eh, one shot of juice won't get me drunk."

Jaomna unfolded his arms, "You know Arlek, I think you could incorporate the tachyon power supply into some of your weapon designs. It could lead to further miniaturization since it is smaller than the plasma generator you have been using. I did some preliminary calculations and I think that�."

"Does anyone know where the remote is?" Onara interrupted. She didn't want to discuss Arlek's weapons plans at the moment. She decided that that it was her duty to improve everyone's mood before the others arrived. "It's making me dizzy changing the channels like this." She stopped flipping on one of the video channels for a moment to point out that Dick Clark looked hot.

"Ewww. Dick Clark is what, in his seventies?" Jaomna grimaced at Onara's comment.

"Actually, I think he is a hundred and four," Arlek answered. "He grew a new body in the early Fifties before he became famous."

"Dick Clark is an alien?" Relal asked incredulously.

"Yeah, didn't you know," Onara answered. "So is Jerry Lewis as a matter of fact."

"I would have never guessed Jerry Lewis," Jaomna added.

Onara continued channel surfing. "Ya know, you would think that with like a hundred channels that there would be something good on all the time."

To make conversation, Relal decided to bring up everyone's favorite topic, stealing cable. "So do you think the cable company minds that we steal their signal? I mean, not that they know�Well, if they knew do you think they would mind?"

"Hahahaha," Arlek and Relal laughed together. "Yeah, I guess you're right, we do take liberties with electronics; but we really needed that for our research.

"And that's why it is now powering the tv?" Relal asked rhetorically.

"Alright then, where is the remote?" Onara interrupted again.

"Oh, I think I left it in the study," Arlek answered. "I'll get it."

"Well don't get up. It's not that important." Onara didn't want to bother anyone that much.

"I wasn't going to," Arlek responded with a laugh. "Where exactly did I leave it?" she mumbled. �Oh I remember; it's on the desk." She held out her right hand and concentrated on the remote control; she carefully visualized it as blue sparks emanated from the palm of her hand. The sparks continued for a second and her palm began to glow bright blue. The others caught a whiff of ozone as the remote materialized in her hand.

"Here." She handed the remote to Onara.

"Thanks."

Relal decided it was the perfect opportunity to ask another question, "When exactly are the others getting back? I'm starving!"

"Npoia and Onzark are supposed to be back by five." Arlek answered, "And Kmpar went pick up the pizzas."

Onara stared blankly into space with a glassy look in her eyes. "Npoia and Onzark are going to be late. They missed the connecting train and had to take a bus." She put down her empty shot glass. She spoke in the same monotone as she always did when she was having a premonition. She shook her head and took a sip of the cranberry juice.

Relal squirmed in his chair. It disturbed him when Onara used her psychic powers. In fact he tried to avoid being around whenever he knew she would be using them. He hadn't told any of the others how he felt; he didn't know how to bring it up and he really didn't want to tell them why. The others knew Onara's powers made him uncomfortable but didn't want to make an issue out it. They hoped he would tell them why when the time was right, and they certainly did not want to make him uncomfortable by asking.

"I really wish you would predict the lottery numbers sometime, Onara. God, we have a resident psychic; it would make things easy." Arlek joked.

"Bleh, The lottery is rigged." Onara grimaced. "Besides winning would draw too much attention on us. We don't really want that." She gestured in the air as she continued, "One day, we are million dollar winners. The next the government will be making us do undercover work for the CIA or something. Besides, I like using my power in smaller ways. It's good practice. Besides, I really like my job."

"Yeah the CIA or the dissection table." Relal shuddered.

"Yeah, it's better that we keep a low profile," Arlek spoke up but was interrupted when the door flew open.

Npoia walked into with her frustrated look on her face. "Damn subway! Err!"

"Awww, long day? Have a glass of cranberry juice�."

"No thanks, I have come Penzoil in the refrigerator. I am so hungry I could eat a Subaru. When is dinner?" Npoia walked into the kitchen and took a can of Penzoil out of the refrigerator. She popped off the top and took a gulp."

"I thought you didn't eat imports anymore�" Arlek asked half-jokingly.

"No, only Koreans. There is too much magnesium oxide in the paint. It gives me indigestion. Japanese cars are nice and their steel is so yummy. It's quite pure." Npoia answered with a grin.

"Where is Onzark?" Relal began but was interrupted when the door again slammed open.

Kmpar walked in carrying several pizzas. She also had a frustrated look on her face. "Ugh, I hate that grocery store. The employees are so shady." She walked into the kitchen and put the frozen pizzas on the counter.

"Pizza! I want the extra cheese!" Npoia yelled. She realized right away that she hadn't needed to state that quite so loudly and looked around, embarrassed. She took another drink from her mortar oil.

"Oh no, you forgot to buy soda." Relal complained.

"There is a two liter in the fridge�." Kmpar answered.

"But it's gone flat�" Relal answered.

Kmpar shrugged, "I'll fix it if you bake the pizzas." She was loosing her patience. She opened the refrigerator and looked for the day old two liter. "I don't see it�"

"It's behind the case of Penzoil�"

"Oh thanks." She took out the bottle, unscrewed the cap and set it on the table. She looked at the bottle and concentrated. (To be completely honest, she always wanted to wave her hands or do something theatrical when she used her power, but she decided long ago that looked too melodramatic, besides it was totally unnecessary. She only had to concentrate on the molecules in the air�.) There was a brief whoosh as carbon dioxide from the room flowed into the bottle. She tried to screw the cap back on, "There, the soda is as good as new, but I think the cap is broken."

"Thanks Kmpar. The pizza cooker thing is in the middle drawer." Arlek was proud of her pizza ion gun and loved showing it off to everyone.

"Alright, I'll cook the pizzas this time but remember, I am the keeper of the Sacred Chain of Aimche, not a short-order cook," Relal protested.

The friends rolled their eyes (but not so Relal could see). That damned Sacred Chain again, what was that all about? They didn't even know what was so special about it. As far as they knew it was just a meter of chain. Their books seemed to indicate that it had a greater purpose, but didn't exactly say what that purpose was. They knew it was Relal's sacred duty to guard the chain, and he reminded them of that fact often enough.

"Hmmmm," Arlek inspected the cap, "I think I could build a better cap, this plastic doesn't hold up�."

"Aren't you a weapons engineer?" Chuckled Kmpar.

"Weapons, bottle caps, same difference." Laughed Arlek.

The door once again slammed open as Onazk arrived carrying her and portfolio. "At least she looks like she is in a good mood," thought Arlek.

"Hey everyone! How's it going?" Onazk asked cheerfully. "Want to see what I painted today?"

"Eww pictures!" Kmpar spun around to see.

Everyone gathered in the living room, as Onazk opened her portfolio and began rustling papers. "Where is it?" She asked rhetorically. "Well it was here a minute ago�" As she looked through her collection, the others took the opportunity to sit down and grab on to the furniture. Although everyone enjoyed Onazk's work sometimes it was a bit shocking, especially in the close quarters of the apartment.

Onara wished to herself that she had another shot of juice. Relal sat in the chair firmly gripping both arms. Meanwhile, Arlek reached her hand into her pocket and held on to the miniature plasma torch she carried. Not that she was going to torch anything, but holding on to a weapon made her feel better.

"Oh here it is!" Onazk announced. "There are two I want to show you, first the happy one�"

Everyone's eyes opened wide as she held up the rather large watercolor; Npoia took a swig of her motor oil before the big unveiling and Kmpar enveloped the group in a bubble of oxygenated air, in case anyone hyperventilated. She remembered the last time Onazk showed off her art in the apartment.

Everyone in the room experienced a moment of vertigo as their vision flashed. Once the momentary confusion has gone the group found themselves no longer sitting in the living room. They were instead standing amidst a beautiful and foreign, no alien landscape. It took each one of them a few seconds to realize that Onazk had painted their home. Although the books described their planet; the readings could not have prepared them for what they were experiencing. They looked around in awe of the landscape. The orange sand reflected the bright light from the binary stars in the hazy sky. The looked up to see the four moons orbiting the planet and in the distance they could see the bright lights in the skyline of their beautiful capital city. Electrical storms were common on their world and lighting was the same blue as on earth but also had distinct yellow hues due to the high amount of argon in the atmosphere. The ocean of the fourth moon (an engineering triumph in it's day) reflected light from the two suns. Once by one they reached to the ground and picked up a handful of sand.

"Ok you guys�," Onazk's voice rang out from the distance, "are you ready for the sad one. I hope it's not too depressing�"

Once again their vision flashed and the landscape spun around�.

This time they were standing in dark and still place as lifeless looking as Earth's moon. They looked up into the sky and saw the familiar stars. Saddened they realized this was what remained of their world following the 17 Tarr (a length of time equal to approximately 6.5 hours) Apocalypse. In the sky they could see scarred and shattered remains of the third moon. It would continue to orbit the planet as if to remind the universe that it would go on without their world. They could see the remains of the capital city, but all of the lights were long since gone. In the distance a meteor burned what remained of the atmosphere as it descended to the ground. Their books explained that once the moon was destroyed at the beginning of the war, the resulting meteor shower devastated their planet and nearly destroyed its atmosphere.

"OK I hope that was not too depressing�," Onazk asked in the distance. It was, but everyone appreciated seeing it. The books had described it in great detail, but the painting had made it all the more real. "Wait there is something stuck to the back of this one�." Oh the hill overlooking them, the aliens heard a group singing what sounded like "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling." They looked to the hill as a group of eight cubist leprechauns began dancing down the side yelling for the pot of gold.

Their vision flashed again and they were back in the living room. "Sorry, my other project was stuck to the back. It ended up in the vision too. I hope the leprechauns weren't too scary."

"That was so cool," Kmpar interrupted, "I mean so beautiful and depressing at the same time."

"Yeah, damn shame we had to go and blow up our planet. I guess some alien clich�s are true," Npoia interjected.

Relal got up from the chair and asked how Onazk figured out how to use her powers.

"Remind me to tell the whole story one day."

Relal went back to the kitchen and began fumbling through the drawers looking for the pizza warmer. He pulled a silvered wand out of the drawer and waved it in the air. "Is this what I want?"

"Ahhhhhh." Kmpar screamed as she covered her head and ducked under the counter.

Arlek ran into the kitchen. "Don't point that at anyone! It is a class-three ion torch. But yes that is the pizza warmer. Whatever you do, don't turn it up beyond medium."

"What will happen?" Relal really wanted to know. It took quite a bit to scare Kmpar.

"Well, first it will melt the flesh on your hand and then it will probably burn down the building." Arlek answered matter-of-factly. She was quite proud of the pizza warmer, it was one of her most versatile ideas yet.

"Okay then. I'll be extra careful." Relal took the pizzas out their boxes and set them on the counter. He set the device to its lowest setting and waved it over each pizza three times. As it passed over the pizza, the crust turned golden brown and the cheese melted. The whole process took less than a minute. "Alright, pizzas are done," he announced.

The others came into the kitchen. Onara grabbed some plates and Arlek set glasses on the table. They squeezed around the table and began eating. They made small talk for the first ten minutes of the meal.

"Guys, we all know the others are coming here in a few weeks. Has anyone made any plans yet?" Arlek tried to draw the conversation towards their more pressing issues.

"Well Kmpar and I talked to the landlord and we think he is going to give us a deal on the vacant apartment at the end of the hall." Jaomna answered.

"Zhap, it's like our building is turning into an alien hostel," laughed Npoia. She was now dipping her crusts into the motor oil.

"Well, there goes the neighborhood," Onazk chuckled.

"True, but it will be easier if everyone is close." Arlek spoke seriously, "I mean, we only have some of the books, and they have some others�and if we are together we can refine our powers and hopefully learn more about our origins and our purpose. We must be here for a reason."

"I though we were here because some dumb throms (a very dirty alien expletive) decided it would be fun to launch a nuclear Armageddon on our world," Onazk said in a cynical voice.

"Yes, yes, we know that much, but don't you want to know? Don't you have questions you want answered?" Arlek asked.

"Yes, I mean�it's just that it is all happening so quickly now�," Onazk trailed off.

"Arlek do you want to go for a walk after dinner?" Kmpar wanted to change the subject.

"Sure."

"I love consuming pizza," Relal said as he finished his last bite. He looked up to see everyone laughing. "What?" he demanded.

"It's nothing," Arlek lied trying to conceal her amusement at his comment.

Onara slammed her hand on the table interrupting everyone's laughter. "Someone grab the first aid kit and get some juice."

"What is it? Is something wrong?" Kmpar asked with a very worried look on her face.

"Just get a shot of cranberry juice ready� better make it a double�I think he'll need it�." Onara trailed off with a worried look on her face.

The mood in the room changed dramatically. The others knew to trust Onara's powers and she was seeing something� presumably something bad judging by how worried she looked.

The door opened with another slam. Kano looked up; Oknan and Okaalk were helping him into the apartment. Everyone hurried into the room; Kmpar carried the double shot of cranberry juice, being careful not to spill it.

"We found him in the hall," Oknan said in an exasperated voice.

"Sitting on the steps, With deep despair in his face, We knew we must help," Okaalk added.

Kano looked up at the others. His face was pale and he was sweating. "The plaid room�." he whispered.

"Noooooooooo!" Npoia screamed as she dropped her motor oil.

To be continued�..