| She is Sometimes I think I can't breathe without her. I hear her in the room next to me moving around before bed and I smile. She does the same things every night before she goes to bed and I've gotten used to the sounds of her there. I think the silence of life without her would leave me empty. She is joy, and she is noise. The music of her motion is like the poetry I read as a boy, learning about love through those long gone before me. It is amazing that everything I ever learned about love is embodied in her, in one beautiful Gia. When she is near me, I can't help but laugh. It's like She refuses to let the clouds move i on our lives, and she takes on anyone who doubts we love eachother. Stephan, Helena, Liz, Emily, she faces them all without fear or reservation. Sometimes a little too forcefully, but I understand that's who sheis. I only want her to open up her heart to the rest of them the way she does me. I want Liz and Em to see how much we love eachother and why, butif they never do, that's ok. Her wall has gone silent, and I get up to get some water. No,I get up so I can listen to her breathe through her door. So I can remember she's there. Down the stairs like a liar, I fill my glass with water and then go back upstairs. At her door I stop. I hear nothing and suddenly I am afraid, until I hear her squirm and I realize she is listening to me. I open the door "Gia?" "Yes Nikolas?" "I just wanted to tell you I love you" "I love you too" "Sweet dreams princess sparky" She laughs and my heart fills with joy at the sound. My laughter joins hers for a moment. Then I close the door and walk to my room. Alone in bed I think of everything she is to me and I recognize the train of thought. It will be along time until I fall asleep. I can't think of anything else when gia is involved. Wherever her voice is, the room is filled with a glow I can't describe. It's like her voice permeates the walls and makes them strain to be near her. I can laugh at that, because the truth is, I do the same thing. Wherever she is I want to be. Every other love I have felt before now pales in the light of her unselfish giving. In so many ways she's still like a child, which explains the way she fights with Liz, and the way she believes in me like no one has ever hurt her before. That is such a gift she gives to me, because she has been hurt before. She has been hurt by ME before, but every time she gives me the hope I find in her forgiveness. I love her so much, but it's the kind of love that doesn't hurt. It is like laughing out loud, the way I do whenever she is around. I hear her get up and move around. I wonder where she is going. I wish she was coming to me. I want to call out to her. I know she would come if she heard me, but i can't. She has to come of her own will. It's been hard living so close to her and not making her mine. She is my soul, and I want to give her all of me, body and soul, but it can't be my decision. She has to come to me. There have been times where I know she has been close, and if I would just try, I could have had her. But there can be no having or taking. It has to be mutual. And I know waiting is the right thing to do. It's just SO hard. But in truth. She's worth it. I know when the time comes, it will be right. And i want her to know that even without it, i love her. She is my princess, regardless of her background, or her attitude. Heritage be damned, she is mine and we don't need any of that. We're happy. She's walking down the hall, i can hear her soft steps moving quickly down the hall. I stop breathing, wishing it to be so. Hoping that she is coming for me. I love her so much. There's a knock on the door. She is coming to see me. I can't breathe. She is my life, she is more than I deserve and I'll never let her go. She is everything. She is...... |