| es of Tension Gia and Elizabeth. Elizabeth and Gia. No matter which way I say these names, I can't help but feel the tension. The women in my life that don't get along. Of course, Gia really doesn't get along with any of my friends. Sure, Emily and she have been civil, even almost friendly to one another, but Gia and Elizabeth seem to have a vendetta against each other that goes beyond the Face of Deception. I don't understand it. I don't see why Gia holds a grudge against Elizabeth and why Elizabeth can't release her hatred of Gia for blackmailing Emily. Gia is a great person. I told Liz that underneath all of the attitude Gia wore, there was a great person. A person who comforts me when I'm upset. A person who first kissed me in the middle of Kelly's to hide from her brother. A person who now lives under my roof, whose presence lives on in the cottage even when she's not here. A part of me longs for her to be here, even now as I talk to Elizabeth. The house feels oddly empty when she's not here, with only her belongings to keep me company. Of course, her publicity event is certain to end soon and she'll be back. That's one of the things I like about Gia. Underneath her attitude, is a vulnerability that shines through when she has a job to perform. A vulnerability that allows me to see a different side of Gia, a side that allows me to care for her, without questions. I often forget that she is striving to please everyone. I forget that the self-confidence that she possesses is not always real. She is not convinced that she is naturally beautiful, without lipstick and eyeshadow. She needs to be told that, I think. Something I hardly do. I'm usually defending everyone except Gia. I think Gia believes I love Elizabeth because I defend her. I know that I don't love Elizabeth. I love her only as a friend. That's not why I spend my time defending Elizabeth instead of Gia. It's safer to defend Elizabeth to Gia than taking Gia's side over Elizabeth's. Elizabeth is connected to Lucky, my brother, who I lost once. I'm not prepared to lose him again because I decided to support my "housemate" instead of his girlfriend. Supporting neither one would be safer, but I can't do that. Then, Elizabeth would get angry. I'll admit that I need love and support from my friends. Can Gia really blame me though? My whole life I've only had one person that I knew loved me - my uncle. Now, he has betrayed me, so I'm trying to hold onto everyone else in my life. I'm scared that my family and friends won't love me if I choose Gia over Elizabeth. I wish Elizabeth would make an attempt to like Gia. I wish she would try to get to know the woman behind the comments. I wish I wasn't stuck in the middle, where I feel my entire being, being pulled in two very opposite directions. I wish everything I'm feeling didn't hurt so much and didn't confuse me. I wish I could breathe again, without inhaling Gia's scent, which only causes me to long for what I can't have. I wish so many things, but nothing seems to be coming true. Now if only I can block out Gia's image from my mind. If only I could ease my soul when I hear the names Elizabeth and Gia together. If only I could ignore the names of tension. Time to forget what I want, what I need. Time to focus on what Elizabeth is rambling on about. Time to focus on presents for Valentine's Day. The time for lovers. Charisma |