Die to Self
In a sermon recently...the priest said we should "die to self." I have been thinking about that phrase..."die to self"...and what it means to me.
I think "die to self" means to stop putting myself first. Instead of me...rather you or him or she or they.
It's easy to think of myself first. After all, who knows what I want or need more than myself. How do I know what someone else needs or wants. It takes a bit of thinking to find what someone else needs. Sometimes I don't have the time to worry about someone else. Hard enough to find time for myself let alone someone else. Let them take care of themselves...I always do. What burden will I have to bare for them? It's all so much work and too confusing. Put my head back into the sand and pay attention to what I need to do for me.
But is that the way I want to be? Does doing for me...really make my life complete?
I am a wife and mother. I do for my family isn't that enough? I cook and clean and keep the budget straight...isn't that dying to self...isn't that enough? How much more am I supposed to do? The days are too short and time is at a premium...just don't have enough of me to go around. "What goes around comes around." Let them do for me and then I will do for them. They never say thank you anyway. Ungrateful that's what they are. I have to make myself important to myself...no one else will.
All these thought go around in my head. "Die to self"...what does it mean. I have a glimpse into what it means to me this minute...it means to die to self by putting myself on the back burner...so to speak. Sure do all the regular things I do for my family...but do it as a loving gift and not as an obligation. Not worrying about how tired I am when I put those biscuits in the oven...not needing them to say thank you or praise me for making them. Needing praise for a job well done has always been what I thrive on...but now stop needing the praise for me, but give the gifts for the joy they will bring to others. "Die to self"...a big concept. Definitely have to work on it for the rest of my life...if I want to get it right. And I do want to get it right.
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