Joking About...
If you would like to share a joke with our many readers or would like to suggest a web site that contains good jokes, send us an e-mail at [email protected].
Ribman is a site dedicated to a comic (word to be taken literally) strip character. The introductory screen goes:
Introducing The Lost Son of the Planet
Krispy ...
Protector of the Barbecue Capital of Earth ...
and Superhero to the Superheroless.
Eats faster than a speeding bullet;
Sauce more powerful than a locomotive;
Able to leap tall buildings after consuming
a single can of beans.
For exclusive interviews, Ribman receipes, comic strips and more go to http://www.ribman.net.
Site suggested by Rich Davis.
The New Microsoft Windows Keyboard
Redmond, WA (API) - Microsoft Corporation has announced a new PC keyboard designed specifically for Windows. In addition to the keys found on the standard keyboard, Microsoft's new design adds several new keys to make Windows computing even more functional. These new keys include:
GPF key - This key instantly generates a General Protection Fault when pressed. Microsoft representatives state that the purpose of the GPF key is to save Windows users time by eliminating the need to run an application in order to produce a General Protection Fault.
$$ key - When this key is pressed, money is transferred automatically from the user's back account to Microsoft without requiring any additional steps or hardware.
ZD (Ziff-Davis) key - This key was developed specifically for reviewers of Microsoft products. When pressed, it inserts random superlative adjectives in any text which contains the words "Microsoft" or Windows" within the file being edited.
IBM key - Searches your hard disk for operating systems or applications by vendors other than Microsoft and deletes them.
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary.
The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife: "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer can not take that all that away. But,.. I must know, did he have a different father?"
The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes. Yes he did."
The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks "Who?.. Who was he? Who was the father?" Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband.
Then, finally, she says "You".
By a very cold night of winter, those 2 friends are travelling on a motorcycle in the middle of a blizzard. The one sitting in the back holds the driver very tight and has his whole body protected from the freezing cold. The driver for his part is shivering and feels like he is going to die.
Suddenly, the friend in the back has an idea: "Let's stop one minute and put your jacket backward; in this way, the wind won't hurt you anymore." The driver follows his friend's instructions and abracadabra, the back of the jacket covers totally his chest and his throat and he does not feel the cold anymore. Completely exhilarated, he steps on the gas, begins to sing and drives like a madman until he crashes into a huge truck that appeared out of nowhere.
After 24 hours in a coma, the friend who was travelling in the back of the motorcycle wakes up in an hospital and asks :
"Where am I ?, What happened ?".
"Well my friend says the doctor; you have been in a terrible accident and you should be happy to be alive although you have 2 broken legs, 2 broken arms and internal bleeding."
"Oh my God; and what happened to my friend ?"
"Well something very curious happened : When we found him, his vital signs were perfect, he had no injuries whatsoever but unfortunately he died suddenly when we tried to put his head in place."
Doctor, I’ m terribly worried. I touch my head and I almost faint from pain, I touch my back and it’s even worse. I touch my feet and the pain is simply atrocious. Doctor, what’s the matter with me ? Please tell me the truth as terrible as it may be.
The doctor checks the patient and says: "Your finger is broken"
