Joking About...
Bonkistry
Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as "Bonkistry." He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A.
These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to UVirginia and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to VA for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus. Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved.
So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about molarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. It said:
(95 points) Which tire?
Top 10 Signs that You've Overdosed on The World Wide Web.
10. Your opening line is: "So, what's your homepage
address?"
9. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape
1.1" on one of the clouds.
8. You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you
encounter a Webpage with no links.
7. You felt driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.
6. One of your best friends is Mirsky, and you've never met him.
5. You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your
car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you the precipice of a rocky
cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the "Back" button.
4. You visit "The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything" again and again
and again.
3. Your dog has his own webpage.
2. So does your hamster.
And the number 1 sign that you have overdosed on the World Wide Web:
- When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.
These two jokes are just a few at http://homepage.seas.upenn.edu/~pchowla/humor/page.html. Thanks to Peter Chowla for allowing us to use these jokes.
