Because I Love Her
I knock on the door to Leo's office, feeling oddly formal. Leo looks up, smiles and beckons me in.
"Harry. Hi." He moves back to his desk where there is a large pile of books that he appears to be organising. "Everything okay?"
I sink onto the sofa opposite him and tried to find the words. "I'm worried about Nikki." The words come out in a rush and Leo looks up sharply.
He puts down the books he is holding and moves around to the other side of his desk, leaning against it and folding his arms. I know that he's waiting for me to go on but I'm still struggling to find the right words. Eventually he helps me out. "What's the matter?"
I sigh, resting my elbows on my knees, bow my head and run my hands through my hair. "Since... since the thing with Whittingdon and Burney..." I sigh again, this isn't working. "I'm just worried about her." I finish lamely.
"She attended the counselling sessions?"
I laugh and it sounds bitter and hollow. "She said it helped."
"And you don't think it did?"
"I know it didn't." I pause. I don't want to give away too much, then again, Leo probably already knows. "She's having nightmares." I say at last.
"She's told you this?" He folds his arms again.
"I'm there Leo. She's thrashing around and crying. Sometimes she says his name." Leo nods. "She won't even let me touch her afterwards." My voice sounds angrier than I want it to.
"Have you spoken to her about these... these nightmares?"
"I've tried to. God Leo, I don't know what to do."
He watches me but doesn't speak for some time. He unfolds his arms again and rests his weight on the desk. "Should I say something to her?"
"No. No." I sit back on the sofa. "She doesn't know I'm telling you this." I don't say that I'm worried that she'll be angry with me for sharing her secrets, but Leo probably knows what I'm thinking.
"She went through a terrible ordeal. She's going to need some time."
I nod. I know this, but somehow it helps to hear it from him.
She chooses that moment to walk into the lab. I watch as she organises her things at her desk. Then she turns and sees us. Leo raises a hand and she gives a small wave back. When she looks my way she smiled. For a moment I can forget the sound of her voice last night, the tears and the dark shadows beneath her eyes.
I pull myself to my feet and head for the door but as I place my hand on the handle I stop and turn back to Leo.
"She will be all right Harry. She has you."
I nod. I know this; it will take time but she will be okay in the end.
And I'll be there for her.
Because I love her.