Knight in Shining Armour
I�ve screwed up big time. I don�t even know what tempted me to look at those jobs going in America. He never thought Nikki would find out either. He knew deep down she�d find out eventually but she thinks he�s been hiding this for ages. He hasn�t and he regrets the thought of leaving this job. I�m really happy were I am. But I haven�t had the chance to explain to her about how I feel yet because our argument has led to something I doesn�t think I�ll ever be able to live down. She stormed out and left me to wallow in self-pity.
Now she�s missing, I�m completely stuck, I have no idea where her kidnappers have taken her and I�m not really sure I even know who the kidnappers are. Time is slipping through my fingers and it�s time Nikki probly doesn�t have. I feel sick at the thought of what�s happening to her after the sight of the first victim we found of these killers. I know I�d do anything to get her back, and that�s what�s been plaguing my mind. I�d do anything for Nikki but what does that mean? Every time she�s in the same room I find myself trying to impress her. Why is that? I think I know but I�m running away from the reason.
It had never occurred to me, well, not really, we�d had the occasional �Moment� but nothing would persuade me otherwise. These new feelings are new to me, I�ve never felt like it before, but I never think of it as a bad thing, quite the opposite infact, I have all these feelings but had no idea what to do about them, could I tell her and risk loosing her, no, I am not willing to let that happen.
My feelings are only made clearer whenever Nikki meets another bloke on cases she is following. Ok, ok I�ll admit it; I do get jealous, very jealous. I can�t help it; for once she�s particularly interested in me. I did upset; I didn�t want other men to have full priority over my Nikki. I care so much for Nikki, and would hate her to be hurt by the �Pretty� police boy.
Well, there is one thing I know, he will be there for Nikki, whatever, and her loving someone other than me doesn�t change my feelings towards her. The fact that I am madly in love with Nikki is something I can not change. But I can�t be, I feel like a teenager in love for the first time not a grown man. I�m not meant to experience feelings like this, not for a colleague, falling in love with a colleague causes all sorts of technicalities but the reality was this; I am, and there is nothing I can do about it. Having these emotions is confusing enough but working out how to control them is another. What would I say? I have no clue.
I feel silly, usually, I�d just dismiss it, but he can�t, I just dreamt night after night about me holding her in my arms. I�m worried that I�m getting obsessed, but I just love her. I can try to hide from it but I know now it is too late, there is no point. I am a lost man in love, no knows about it�I don�t think, I want to tell her but I don�t have the heart to incase she isn�t interested and it makes the rest of our working life together a misery.
So what next? I know what I have to do but that is easier said than done, and there is too much in the way, I have to face it, but first I have to find her. Be her Knight in shinning armour that would rescue her from the clutches of her kidnapper. They aren�t wrong when they say being in love makes you do crazy things. I�m not in love�wait, yes I am�madly.
End