Do you remember that time when you asked me why I thought we all managed to meet one another and bond like brothers, we five ordinary men in particular, out of millions of people the world over? Do you remember? I do. I�ve thought a lot about it, and Lance, I don�t know if I can explain it. You would probably be amused to know that I still think about a question you asked me when you were little more than a gangly sixteen year old with a bad haircut and a voice that didn�t seem to fit your body, let alone you, and I bet you might even laugh at me if you knew how I store up all the little things you say, even the nonsensical bits you sometimes mutter in exhaustion or drunken introspection.

When it comes right down to it, I don�t think there�s an explanation to be had because we�re not meant to know. Sure, we can give the phenomenon of life itself a name, like fate, or kismet, or destiny, but what it comes down to is the fact that when the five of us met, we clicked. Since JC�s cornered the market on eloquence, he would probably say something profound, something like, our souls *recognized* each other, man. And he would be right, I guess. But that�s assuming we�re all not playing some bigger, life size version of Monopoly with elements like Chance thrown in.

What were the chances, for example, that you would go and fall in love with him? And who could have predicted that you�d plunge head over heels for me, too. Because you have, admit it. Why else would you come to me every so often and lay your head on my shoulder, put your hands on my waist, and silently beg for me to hold you the way you know he can�t. Or won�t.

I see the way you look when I wrap my arms around you, when you come to my door late at night while he�s asleep, when you turn to me in the middle of a performance and smile that special smile you reserve for those closest to your heart. How come you stopped smiling at him like that, Lance? What do you think made you turn on him, made you stop seeking comfort in his bed and start looking for it in mine? Do you even know why?

Because I do.

It�s not just that you love me like a brother. It�s not just that you�re in love with me, either. It�s the way I make you feel deep in the pit of your stomach, in that place he�s never ventured, though not for lack of trying, certainly. I�m well familiar with the sparks of electricity that crackle in your veins whenever our legs haphazardly brush or our hands touch, because I feel it, too. And when we�re alone together, be it in some anonymous hotel room or the bed in my apartment with those plain cotton sheets you like so much because he prefers silk, I sink into the same lightheaded, euphoric state of mind that plunders you and leaves you shaking in its wake.

I make you free, Lance. With my kisses and caresses and gentle hands, I make you free. And you need that; you need me. It hurts, sometimes, that you won�t admit it -any of it- but it�s enough for me to rest easy in the knowledge that even though you never say the words, you�re still not walking away from me.

In spite of what we have, and what you and he don�t, you feel guilty. You try to hide it during the afterglow of our lovemaking, when you think you can almost feel me inside you still, but I catch the fleeting glimpses you cast toward the door, as if you�re afraid he�ll come barging in at any moment and demand to know what we think we�re doing. The funny thing is, you never look ashamed of what we do, not in the throes of passion or the time between our mutual releases and the morning after. I think you might even enjoy the risk involved, because you�re not who people say you are, you�re more than that and deeper than that, and a lot less virginal and a lot more sensual than anybody ever gives you credit for.

I don�t know if you�ve ever been scared of the consequences, but if you find yourself feeling fearful, just look in my eyes. I�ll tell you all you need to know without saying a single word. I�m not worried about the ring he put on your finger a little over a year ago and I�m not concerned about the fact that if this ever got out -to the other guys, or the world at large- we�d be ruined. (I�m not deluded into believing he�d easily forgive you and I for such betrayal, though I�m not sorry for it just the same.) I figure, as long as no one knows, nobody can care.

But, this can�t last forever, Lance. As much as I�d like it to, it can�t. Because I�m not sure I�m willing to spend the rest of my days waiting for you to come to me in odd moments of pure convenience. I don�t think I can wait around for you to get up the courage to leave him, because the truth is, you won�t. See, I know you better than you know yourself, and it just so happens that I can tell you like things the way they are. You want me to stay here, lurking in your shadows, ready to take you when you say it�s okay and then leave when you tell me to go again. Don�t ask me to do that, Lance. I may not be able to give you everything you�ve ever wanted, but I can give you something that can�t be bought.

I�m not like you. I�m not the type to settle for less than what I want. And regardless of what you tell yourself to make it all seem more justifiable, I�m not the reason you�ve gone astray. I�m not magnetic, in fact, there�s no trickery involved. You come to me because you need me, not because I make you, And as long as you don�t ask me to stay here, in this lonely place, and watch you two together, then we�ll be okay.

But, Lance, I can guarantee that if you do end up walking away from me, you�ll never be satisfied. There are no carbon copies of me up for grabs; there�s no one else who�ll be willing to sacrifice what I do in your name. Think about that before you commit the rest of your life to him. That ring is not a tie that can�t be broken, Lance.

You know, as I sit here now, watching you curled up on the couch by his side, I�m not sure why I bother. You�re comfortable there, with his arm around your shoulders, your palm on the inside of his thigh, and me sitting here across the room from you. When he presses his lips to your neck, you look at me and I suddenly, I know.

I want you to follow me, Lance. Pack your bags and leave with me. Let�s catch a cab to the airport and hop on the first flight to anywhere but here. It�ll just be you and me together, no one else, and we�ll do all the things we�ve wished we could do but never had the chance.

As I stand up, four pairs of eyes focus on me, including yours.

�Where are you going, Joey?�

�Out. The subtitles are giving me a headache,� I say.

Chris tosses me the remote control. �Dude, I�m barely following this movie. Pick another, why don�t you.�

�No,� I say, pitching it back to him. �You go ahead.�

JC tilts his head a little to one side. �You sure?�

�Yeah,� I tell them, but I�m looking at you. �I�m sure.�

�Whatever, man.�

And that�s the end of that.

As the other three begin flipping through the channels at random, I walk to the door. And then, with my hand on the brass knob, I look back at you and our eyes meet.

Follow me.

I know you hear me, even though you don�t say a word or make a move, and I can tell you�re trying to make a choice; the choice I just now asked you to make, because I�ve decided that I can�t stay any longer.

Just when I think you�re about to say or do something, he laughs beside you, his arms around your waist drawing you closer as his lithe frame shudders with glee. He�s not the only one laughing, everyone is. Everyone but you and I. It must be something on the television, but that doesn�t seem important because the moment his hold on you tightens, your arms slip around his neck and your fingers tangle themselves in the soft curls at his nape.

All at once, I have my answer.

You don�t know how you met me.
You don�t know why.
You can�t turn around and say goodbye.
All you know is when I�m with you, I make you free.
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea.

[Chorus]
I�m singin�,
Follow me, everything�s all right.
I�ll be the one to tuck you in at night.
And if you want to leave, I can guarantee.
You won�t find nobody else like me.

I�m not worried about the ring you wear
Just as long as no one knows then nobody can care
You�re feeling guilty and I�m well aware.
But you don�t look ashamed and baby, I�m not scared

Chorus

Won�t give you money, I can�t give you the sky.
You�re better off if you don�t ask why.
I�m not the reason that you go astray,
We�ll be alright if you don�t ask me to stay.

Chorus

You don�t know how you met me.
You don�t know why.
You can�t turn around and say goodbye.
All you know is when I�m with you, I make you free.
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea.

Chorus 3x

[�Follow Me� by Mister Uncle Cracker]