The Best of My Advanced Comp. Journal

These are journal entries from my Adv. Comp. class that is taught by Mrs. Sautter.  She gives us a sentence, and we write based on that sentence.  So here's some of my best ones!  I'll type up more as they come.

Never Injure a Friend, Even In jest 

Wow, how on Earth does someone figure out how to write to that title?  We must not be friends, otherwise you�d not be giving me this headache!  Okay, let�s start with a story.  Dan and Bob were best friends.  One day, Dan jokingly gave Bob a punch in the shoulder.  The punch was in jest, but it still packed quite a wallop.  Anyhoo, Bob fell down an entire set of stairs, breaking both legs, three ribs, both arms, and his nose.  Bob was rushed to the hospital where Dr. Harmon said he would have to spend the next two months in a body cast.  Feeling guilty, Dan stayed at his bedside.  One night, Bob lost his ability to speak after Dan left the window open.  Bob caught cold, and wound up with laryngitis.  Trying to help, Dan fed his pal grapefruit.  Some of the grapefruit squirted up into Bob�s eye, leaving his constantly blinking.  Dan turned on QVC, and realized he just had to buy the teflon pans they were selling for $200.  (This in no way expresses my attitude toward QVC.  I don�t think they sell overpriced junk at all...)  Dan wanted to use Bob�s credit card to order.  �Blink once for yes, not at all for no,�  Dan told Bob.  Still winking from the grapefruit, Bob is now out $200.  Finally, the cast came off, Bob could speak, and needless to say his friendship with Dan went the way of, well, you know! *  comments: various squiggly faces.

The Secret to Being a Bore is to Tell Everything!

Nobody likes a chatterbox.  You�ll probably be surprised, but I have a story about this.  Steve and Robyn were friends.  But Robyn would talk non-stop.  She told every last detail of her rather boring life, and this became rather frustrating to Steve.  He couldn�t get a word in to save his life!  Eventually, her chattiness
led to their friendship coming to an end.  He couldn�t care less about having a friend who wanted to �discuss� herself all the time.  He even tried dropping subtle hints.  One night, they were eating wax beans and watching �Who Wants to be a Millionaire?�  Steve commented on how annoying it is when  a contestant has to give an oral report as to how each correct answer once played some sort of role in their life.  Robyn didn�t hear his plea.  Instead, she talked endlessly about her idol, Kathie Lee Gifford.  Finally, Steve gave up.  He called Robyn to be completely honest with her, but she wouldn�t be quiet long enough for him to speak.  When he knew she wasn�t home, he called to leave a message.  After waiting more than two minutes to get to the beep, Steve simply said:  �Robyn, the secret to being a bore is to tell everything!�  * comments:  No, not you--next to me having a story;  Is this a Robyn we know?

If I Could Change One Thing About Myself...

Well, you broke my tradition of writing stories about others.  And you made it a toughy!  So, since I�m so upset that I must break my pattern of writing, I�ll write about this:  If I could change one thing about myself, it would have to be my inability to accept change.  No, not money-change, break in pattern-change.  I like things to remain exactly how they are.  When I came home one evening and found the furniture rearranged, it troubled me.  I guess you could say I have a strong aversion to change!  (extra credit for that?)  [note:  aversion is a vocabulary word in another of my classes with Mrs. Sautter.]   Although, I do hate cashiering...maybe I hate change altogether.  I hate when TV shows move to new time slots.  Now I have to rearrange my whole schedule.  I like shows with ongoing plots (this is where I confess to my enjoyment of watching soaps everyday.)  My dislike of change went so far as for me to become agitated when one of our VCRs broke.  not because I had to move one down from my room (I have two for constant dubbing convenience) but because I had to adjust to using a different VCR.  So I wish I could accept change without hesitation.  There, that wasn�t so bad :)  (exhaling deeply...gasp!)
comments:  �:)�  �a creature of habit?�  �I agree�--in regards to the TV scheduling.

(music note) �A little bit of...� (music note)

Obviously reeling in guilt from making me tell a true story last time, you thought it would be fun to do it again.  Yeah, well, I can do this one!  Last semester, my ad-selling partner (we shall know her as Spitsy) would sing every day in the car while trying to raise funds for Trident.  My one request was that it NOT be �Mambo #5� because the song is ridiculously
evil.  Spitsy honored this request  and I�m eternally grateful.  Every day we would head over to Market Square or S.R. 26 to sell ads.  We managed to rake in some serious money.  One of the ways was by maintaining some sanity.  (I won�t go off topic on our obvious insanity, or that laughable trip to Charter Hospital!)  Since, of course, insane people wouldn�t look all that appealing  to give money to.  So, one way of maintaining sanity was to turn on the radio.  Spitsy would sing along and I would go to my mind�s safe place (usually a TV show or something like that.)  �Mambo #5� (along with anything Spice Girl�s related) was off limits because I found them dreadfully annoying.  Now we�re done selling ads, and are better friends than ever.  In a way,  that song was pseudo-responsible.   If you�re wondering who Spitsy is, it�s  Lauren �The Pest� Conway.  Why I call her
this is another long story that begins with urine in her lap.  I won�t bother you with this!  *
comments:  When I said that the song is ridiculously evil, �Isn�t it though!�
When I say I won�t go into details about the pee, �Thank you...�