Chapter 5

1 week later

CIA headquarters
Clayton Webb's office (and of course his POV)

I know everyone thinks I'm wasting my time, but I have managed to get a copy of every passport or Visa request out of Iraq for the last year that Mac has been missing. My gut still tells me that she's out there somewhere. As I flip through to the last one I almost can't believe what I'm looking at. My eyes are tired and I have to rub them to clear my vision. That has to be Mac. Her hair is longer and there is something different in her eyes, but I know that has to be her. As I look closer at the name, I realize she's kept the same first name that I gave her, but her last name is different. Raihan, where do I know that name? I flip frantically through my files and stop in shock as I realize she is married to Sheik Raihan's only son, Jabir. Holy shit, Mac! What happened? How did you end up married, to him? I debate about calling the Admiral, but I need to confirm for myself that it's really her first. After what I have put them through, I'm not going to get their hopes up unnecessarily. Her Visa says she should be in Kuwait 4 more days. Plenty of time I tell myself as I grab a few items and make arrangements for transportation to Kuwait.

Next day
Kuwait City

I'm exhausted and I haven't slept in over 48 hours, the last 4 of which have included sitting across from the hotel Mac is supposedly staying at. My vision sharpens as I see a man exit the building that matches Jabir's photo. He has a woman with him but all that damn clothing makes it hard to tell if it's Mac. I take up a good pace behind them and watch the couple together. As soon as I hear her voice I know its her, even as she speaks in Arabic. I am amazed at how good her Arabic is as she flawlessly talks with Jabir, but then I guess it has been over 20 months since this damn operation started. I keep following them; waiting for my chance to let Mac know that I'm here. As I stay just behind them I'm starting to get concerned. I've seen couples in love and I've seen the best agents faking it. I know how to tell the difference. As I watch, it's obvious to me that Mac and Jabir are in love. I watch carefully for signs that she is just playing along, but there aren't any. The look in her eyes and the soft smile she gets when he talks to her is convincing proof. It's not just Mac either. Jabir is completely taken with her. Warning bells start to go off in my mind and I wonder if somehow Mac has been turned. I feel guilty for even thinking it, but I've seen a lot of stranger things in my time with the CIA. If I contact her and she's turned my life isn't worth diddly, but I know that I owe her the benefit of the doubt.

I see my opportunity as Jabir moves off to negotiate with a street vendor. Walking up quietly, I softly whisper "Mac". I expected her to tense or something but she doesn't acknowledge me at all. "Mac?" I try again and move to the side of her so that she is aware of my presence. Still no response to her name. I know its her; what the hell is going on? It's my staring that finally gets her attention and I watch as she looks at me and then moves her eyes past. At first I think she doesn't even recognize me but I hear her quietly gasp and look back to me.

She mumbles something to me quietly in Arabic, but my skills aren't that good. She can see the confusion on my face but I can tell she doesn't know what is wrong. As I notice her husband returning, I slip her a tiny piece of paper and walk away. It has my secure number on it with no other identifying information so if its found there shouldn't be too many suspicions raised. I watch from a distance as she kisses Jabir softly and walks into another shop.

The whole experience has me completely freaked out. First she doesn't recognize her own name and then she mumbles at me in Arabic like I should understand her. I know strange things happen to your identity when you're undercover this long, but seeing it happen to someone you know is unsettling. I idly wonder if she will even contact me. Damn, what if she doesn't? What does that mean?

Given what I've seen, I'm dreading the call to AJ. What if I've found her just to expose her as a traitor?

About the same time {ignore the whole time zone thing, will ya? =0) }

JAG HQ
Admiral Chegwidden's office

***Admiral's POV***

"Rabb, what the hell were you thinking going after a 2 star like that?" As I'm chewing him out for his stunt yesterday in the courtroom I know I am silently grateful that he even pulled it. It might mean that I have my top lawyer back. Since Mac has been gone, he has been withdrawn, barely doing his duty at work. I really thought that we lost him after she was declared MIA and we had the memorial service. As I begin to yell at him more Tiner buzzes through.

"Tiner, I thought I told you to hold my calls."

"Yes sir, but its Webb and he says its urgent Admiral." Tiner's statement gets my attention as well as Rabb's. "Put him through Tiner."

"Webb, what the hell do you want? If you think I am going to lend you any other officers for your damn missions you are out of your mind." That felt good. I have wanted to do worse to him more than once since Mac disappeared. The only satisfaction I got was giving him the black eye when he told me that Mac had gone missing.

I put him on speakerphone just to irritate him but his words shock the hell out of me.

"AJ, I've found her. I found Mac."

Rabb and I instantaneously start hammering him with questions.

"Just listen to me. I'm in Kuwait and she is here… uh, visiting."

"Visiting? What the hell do you mean she is there visiting. You make it sound like she's on vacation."

"Well, actually she is."

I stare at Rabb not knowing what to think about Webb's revelation. Before I can respond he drops the next bombshell.

"We've got a problem. She's married to Sheik Raihan's son, Jabir. AJ, I've watched them and they're completely in love with each other. It's no act. He's in love with her too. It's obvious."

I can hear the unspoken words. Webb thinks Mac has been turned. I look across my desk at Rabb who is at a complete loss. I'm not sure which was the worst for him to hear. That she's in love, married, or whom she is married to. I'm not sure he has even caught onto what Webb didn't say.

"Webb, are you telling me what I think you are?"

"I don't know for sure, but when I approached her on the street today she didn't even respond to her name. I had to practically get in front of her before she realized who I was. Then she mumbled something to me in Arabic, but she knows that I don't speak more than a few words. It was like she didn't even realize I wouldn't understand. I don't think she even knew she wasn't speaking English to me."

I watch as Rabb picks up on what Webb is inferring. "Webb, there is no way that Mac is working for them. How can you even think that?"

"I'm not accusing her of anything, Rabb. But I know a problem when I see one and this is a problem. I was able to slip her my secured cell # but I honestly don't know if she will even call. Rabb, she is different now. It's been almost 2 years; you have to understand that being undercover that long can be very confusing. I barely recognized her myself."

I watch as Rabb tries to process everything that Webb has told him. I know what he is talking about. Long-term deep undercover ops can completely destroy a person's identity.

I know what he's going to ask as he looks up at me. "Go ahead. Make arrangements and meet Webb ASAP."

"Webb, give Rabb the information that he needs to find you." I listen as they make arrangements for Rabb to leave in just a few hours. As I watch Rabb leave, I pray that what Webb suspects isn't true. I think her death would be easier to handle than her betrayal.

2 hours later
Kuwait Hotel
Jabir and Amirah's room

***Mac's (Amirah) POV*** I can't believe that Webb found me. My mind races trying to understand how, but I'm just thankful. He had the strangest look on his face though. And he never responded to my question, but I guess he didn't have time. I stare at the paper. I know its his cell # and I know he is waiting for my call. What I don't know is why I am hesitating to contact him. This is what I have wanted for the last 20 months, right? To go back home? Or have I found 'home' with Jabir? The fact that I am struggling with this decision scares me. At the very least I am a deserter if I don't go back. I've been willing to give up my life for my country, but now I'm being asked to give up the man I love. Can I do this?

I don't have time to wonder as Jabir returns from his meeting. I can see that he is upset, but he never talks about his business with me. I watch as he takes off his jacket and lays next to me on the bed.

"Jabir, what's wrong?" I wait in silence. My eyes close as he traces his finger across my face. I can feel the need in his touch. I scoot closer to him and ask him again what is bothering him. I hear his sigh as he mumbles that his father has planned to buy weapons from the Russians again. I instantly become alert. Damn it, I should have known his father wouldn't give up but selfishly I didn't want to have to deal with it. I know that I have to pass this along and when I do I will betray Jabir as well as his father. I can't help the tear that trails down the side of my face. He gently wipes it away.

"Amirah, I tried to reason with him once again. But he is determined to see this through." I lay here trying to think of a way to ask when the purchase will be made, but everything seems too obvious. Unless... "Jabir, do you think you will have time to talk to him again before he does this?" He carefully considers my question, but shrugs helplessly. "I don't think it would make a difference even if I had a 1000 years to tell him of all the good I saw in America. No, Amirah. Tomorrow night he will buy death for many Americans." I know better than to try and get him to tell me where the meeting is supposed to take place. When and who will have to be good enough for Webb. I feel him reach for me again and I long to lose myself in him one more time. I know after tomorrow that I have no choice but to leave with Webb. I can only hope that Jabir will be able to forgive my betrayal and that he will be held blameless for my actions.

I feel my body respond as he kisses my neck and pulls me close. I fuse my mouth to his, needing to feel the heat of his tongue in my mouth. As our tongues caress each other, he pulls us both up so that he can remove my dress. As we make love, I can only think that this might be the last time and my heart breaks at the love I have to leave behind. As he whispers his love, I wonder if I can really leave this man.

Next morning

***Mac's POV**

Jabir has finally left for his meetings and I know that I need to find a way to contact Webb fast. I have to get him this information with enough time for him to do something about it, but calling from the hotel isn't an option. Making my way down to the street I feel someone watching me. I slowly look in the store windows pretending as if I'm out for an afternoon of shopping. It takes 30 minutes before I realize that its Webb following me. What is he doing? If I didn't know better, I would say he is watching me to see if I meet with anyone. It suddenly strikes me that the strange look on Webb's face yesterday was suspicion. That son of a bitch! How could he possibly think I would work for the other side? I have lost almost 2 years of my life to this mission and he thinks that I am going to betray my country? I watch carefully as he steps into a store and then I head for the closest phone I can find. I wait as the phone rings and have to laugh that I can hear it from across the street?

"Hello?"

"Webb, are you having fun following me?" silence.. "Webb?"

"Yeah?" I hear him answer.

"I asked if you were having fun following me. You think I'm working for the other side, don't you?"

Silence again. Just as I am about tell him to go to hell I hear him again.

"Mac, can you speak English to me? I really don't understand what you're saying?"

I freeze as I realize that it is completely natural for me to speak Arabic. I haven't spoken even a word of English for the last 20 months. As part of my training I knew that I had to even begin thinking in Arabic so that I wouldn't unintentionally betray myself. As I search for my words, I realize I'm at a complete loss. Its not like I don't know English, but you'd be amazed at how difficult it is after not speaking it for this long.

"Mac?" I can hear the question in his tone.

"Yes?" I think I said that in English. I must have because he tells me to go sit at the café across the street. I sigh in relief and take a seat in the farthest corner. I wait 20 minutes before he comes in and sits just behind me at another table. I have been reading a magazine during this time and of course it's in Arabic as well. I idly realize that every thought I have really is in Arabic. This gives me the creeps, but I know it had to happen to be able to survive without blowing my cover.

"Mac. Are you ok?" I can hear the concern in his voice, but I can also hear the distrust. He really thinks that I have switched sides. I decide to go with the one word answer.

"Yes."

"Are you ready to leave? I can have you home by tomorrow."

I shake my head and try to tell him about the plans tonight but once again it all comes out in Arabic.

"Can you try that in English, please?"

"No." I hear the sharp intake of his breath as I tell him I'm not ready to leave. At first I don't understand why he is so shocked, but then I realize he thinks I am telling him I don't want to go back at all. Do I?

I struggle for my words as I try to piece together the simplest of sentences. "A buy tonight. Jabir's father."

I know he understands what I'm trying to tell him, but his voice is still thick with suspicion. "Do you know where?"

"No." is all I can think to answer. I'm definitely not going to try and explain how I found out that much.

"Damn it. I hadn't expected this. I was just planning to get you and take you and Rabb back to the states."

"What the hell is Rabb doing here, Webb? I don't need him to come save my six. I am doing perfectly fine." At his lack of a response I know that I have just rattled it off in Arabic again but I think he gets my point.

"Whoa, it was the Admiral's idea. Not mine. He gets here in a few hours."

"Plan?" I am definitely sticking with the one-word questions as well.

"You'll have to stay with Jabir until after the buy to make sure no one gets suspicious. Rabb and I will come for you after that and we'll leave immediately.

I don't know how to voice what I've been thinking. I know it sounds heartless, especially coming from the woman married to his son. "Need to kill Jabir's father. He'll keep trying."

"I don't know about that, Mac. I'm just going to focus on stopping him from getting the weapons."

I nod my understanding and manage to ask if I need to know anything else. "Mac, everyone but the admiral and Rabb still think you're dead. They had a memorial service for you 6 months ago. Full military honors. You even got a purple heart. I think the Secnav felt guilty." I know he's trying to make me laugh with the last part but I can only think of the pain that I have caused so many friends.

I didn't mean to voice my thoughts out loud, but I must have. "Maybe I should stay here?" Guess I managed that in English since Webb responds even more suspiciously.

"Mac, you can't be serious. You're not safe here."

"I'm happy, Clay. I love Jabir." I try desperately to make him understand, but I know it's useless. Even I know that I have to go back, and part of me still wants to; but another part wants nothing more than to stay with the man I love. I see one of Jabir's friends down the street and move abruptly, leaving the café and moving away from him. I have to get back soon, or Jabir will wonder where I've been. Making my way back to the hotel, I struggle again with the decision to go back.

***Clay POV***

I'm still not sure about her. Given my concerns it seems too convenient that I show up just in time for another buy. Is she trying to get me out of the way with this story, now that I've found her? Hell, Mac even admitted that she wants to stay. I can chalk the language problems up to being undercover so long. What I can't shake is her desire to stay and how different she seems. My spy sense is tingling at me that something isn't right, but I'm not sure if the problem is Mac or not. I honestly feel guilty about suspecting her, but I've seen stranger things happen to good agents. I decide to get Rabb from the airport and do some more reconnaissance before I buy into her story. Just to be safe.

It's 4 hours later and Rabb and I are both watching as Mac and Jabir enjoy dinner out. I can tell that Rabb doesn't like what he's seeing, but hell part of it is his fault. Yeah, I know about the fit he threw the day Mac left. The man's an idiot when it comes to her. After I picked him up, I told Rabb more about my concerns regarding Mac. I thought he was going to deck me for it, but now he's here watching it for himself. Every time Jabir touches her Rabb growls something or tightens his hands around the binocs. I probably shouldn't force him to sit through this, but I need him to understand what we're dealing with here. After another hour of torture for Rabb, Mac and Jabir finally leave to go back to their hotel. It's the walk back that does Rabb in. We stay just far enough behind to see them, but they are so caught up in each other we could have been 2 feet behind them and they would never have known it.

Looking at my watch I realize we only have an hour to find and then tail Jabir's father to the rendezvous. I'm still skeptical, but hopefully Mac's info will come through for us. If not…. Well, I'll deal with that if I have to. I managed to secure a few Marines from the embassy and I motion to Rabb that we have to get going and fast.

1 hour later

***Harm's POV***

I'm starting to get really worried. We're sitting outside where Mac told us Sheik Raihan would be leaving from. So far, no sign of him. When Webb told me his suspicions I wanted to hurt him for even suggesting Mac could betray her country. But after what I saw tonight, I'm not so sure he isn't right. I can see for myself that she is completely in love with Jabir. It hurt to watch her with him. They were so loving and tender with each other. It looks like she has found the one thing that I always held back from her, Love. Even that alone wouldn't have convinced me that she had turned. Its how different she is now. She really isn't Mac anymore at all. She even told Webb she wasn't sure she should come back. How could she possibly feel that way unless she had done something? Damn it. Each minute that passes without Raihan coming out that door makes it harder to believe that Mac hasn't betrayed us.

Looking over to Webb I can see the disappointment in his eyes. We decide to leave one of his operatives with the Marine guard just in case Raihan moves while we go after Mac. We both drive in silence to the hotel she and Jabir are staying at. Taking her back as a traitor is going to kill me and I know it will break everyone's hearts at JAG. I think it would have been better to leave everyone thinking she had died. Part of me wishes we could just leave her here, but my duty won't allow me to let her betray my country and get away with it. I only hope I have the strength to do this.

Since Webb already has the room number we slip past the front desk. I draw my gun and wait for Webb's signal. I can feel my heart beating so fast I swear they can probably hear it inside the room. At Webb's nod I try the door, but it is locked. He pulls out a few tools and manages to pick the lock. As I slowly open the door, he covers me. The suite is large and we strain to listen for any sounds. Mac's moan of pleasure rips through me as I realize we've obviously caught them in the middle of their lovemaking. Hearing her call his name in passion only furthers my anger. We both move to the entrance of the master bedroom and I freeze as I see her in his arms. The image of them together makes me want to kill him with my bare hands. Webb nods to let me know that he has checked the other rooms and they are empty.

They are both so oblivious to our presence that Webb has to call her name. I turn to see Mac looking at Webb and I in confusion while Jabir's look seems to be a mixture of fear, anger, and confusion.

"Mac, I'm sorry but you have to come with us. There wasn't any buy tonight." She's still staring at me in confusion and then recognition of what I am accusing her of dawns on her face. Now she's yelling at me in what I guess is Arabic, but I have no idea. Jabir starts to look more confused by the minute and with my attention drawn to an angry naked Sarah Mackenzie I don't see him pull out the gun until he is starting to raise it towards me. The next moment passes in a split second as 3 shots ring out. Jabir's shot goes wide and barely misses me as Mac covers him with her body knocking his arm away. Both my shot and Webb's hits Mac in her chest and rib-cage as she just barely manages to block Jabir from us.

Jabir drops his gun as he feels Mac slump against him. Cradling her limp body he cries her name softly. "Amirah, please Amirah." Mac doesn't move as he pleads with her. I have no idea what he is saying. As I watch the sheets turn red with her blood, all I can think is that I've just killed the only woman I've ever loved. The pain in his cries breaks through the haze covering my brain. "Amirah, No…" The thought occurs to me that perhaps this is better than having to bring her back as a traitor, but I feel sick at what I've just done. I've just killed Sarah. My Sarah. At that moment Webb's radio crackles to life letting him know that Raihan is on the move and they are following him. I can see the regret raging through Webb's face. Waiting 10 more minutes would have made the difference. We both stare at each other and then turn to her lifeless body realizing the mistake we've made.

I drop to my knees as I watch Webb move towards her to check for a pulse. I know he won't find one; I've killed her.

"Rabb, call the embassy. She's still alive, but barely." His statement gives me hope and I make the call quickly and wait for the Embassy trauma team to arrive.

As Jabir continues to rock her, I hear her struggle for breath. It seems to take all her strength to open her eyes and look at her lover holding her in his arms. Her voice is weak as she whispers softly to him. Once again I don't know exactly what she is saying, but the love on her face gives me a good idea. I want so badly to cradle her in my own arms and tell her I am sorry. As she loses consciousness again, the trauma team races in. Jabir watches in shock as they rush to save her life. One of the medics explains that they've got to get her to the base hospital immediately or she has no chance. Jabir nods his understanding and backs away as they cover her and strap her still form to the gurney.

4 hours later
Kuwait Air Force Base Hospital

***Webb's POV***

Rabb and I sit next to each other silently as we wait for news from the surgeons. Jabir has vacillated between despair and anger directed towards us. Damn it, why did she have to get in front of him? I know the answer; she's in love with him. I feel Rabb's despair as he stares at the wall in front of him. This is all my fault and I audibly curse myself. If I hadn't been such an idiot and doubted Mac, this never would have happened. As it turns out the buy did go down, and the marines and my operative got there just in time to see the Russian sellers kill Sheik Raihan and his men. They seemed to think they could keep the warhead and the money and would have been successful if my men hadn't been there to contain the situation and confiscate the warhead. But none of that is important. Right now my head is spinning with the knowledge that I may have killed one of my closest friends.

My cell phone rings and I know it is probably the Admiral wanting an update on the situation. The only thing I can be thankful for is that he is there and I am here.

"Webb." I say as calmly as I can manage.

"Webb, you were supposed to call me hours ago. What the hell is going on?" I do my best to try to explain the situation but it's hard for him to understand how both Rabb and I could shoot her by mistake, thinking she was a traitor. He asks how she is doing and I honestly can't give him an answer except to tell him that the wounds were fairly serious. He asks if Rabb is there and yells it loud enough that Rabb can hear it for himself.

Rabb takes the phone from me and can only manage one Sir before he's getting his six chewed. A moment later he hangs up and simply says "He's on his way."

"Webb, what if she dies by my hand? What am I going to do?" I don't have anything to tell him because I'm wondering the same thing. I watch as Rabb leans his head into his hands and silently cries. I am vaguely aware that Jabir is watching us suspiciously. At some point I am going to have to deal with him, but I'm not ready for that. I'm sure he doesn't even know about his father. He'll probably think we killed him and I really don't want to deal with that right now. He hasn't asked us anything about why we brought her to an American military base hospital, which has me a little confused. But, I guess he has probably figured out part of it from just listening to us since I know he speaks English fluently.

A few more hours pass, before the surgeon finally comes out. He looks around trying to locate who he should talk to. Jabir immediately approaches him and they talk back and forth in Arabic. Damn it. I can't understand a thing. I watch Jabir's face closely as the surgeon talks to him. His face falls just a bit, but he doesn't have the look of utter devastation that he did at the hotel when he thought she was dead. The doctor leads him towards the door and I get up to follow. Jabir immediately turns on me and I can feel pure hatred emanate from him.

"Jabir, I just need to know how she is doing." I try to back off and seem as non-threatening as possible. I can see him debate whether or not he should tell me.

"She has slipped into a coma. They do not know if she will wake up." He turns sharply and walks away leaving me to the self-recrimination of my own thoughts. When I get back to where Rabb is sitting, he looks at me waiting for the news. Damn I hate to tell him this.

"She's in a coma. They're not sure if she'll come out of it."

Chapter 6

24 hours later
Kuwait Air force Base Hospital

***Admiral's POV***

I grabbed the first transport out once I found out about Mac. How this could have happened is beyond me. I understand their confusion based on what they saw, but this is Mac. Even if they were suspicious they could have gone after her differently. I really don't even want to think of the repercussions if she doesn't survive. As it stands now Rabb will never forgive himself for shooting her in the first place, but if she dies… He won't make it through that.

I called the Secnav just before I got on the plane to let him know what was going on. I expected him to ream me for not telling him yesterday. I also expected his concern to be primarily focused on possible bad press, but he actually seemed concerned for her. I don't think Mac has any idea the effect she has on people. I've been angry as hell with her a couple of times, but she is still one of the people I respect most. She kind of gets under your skin without you knowing it. Her loyalty has always been admirable, but there is something else that amazes me about her. Through all the crap in her life and the bad choices and mistakes she has made, she never gives up. She simply picks herself back up, swallows her pride, and moves on. I know her past still haunts her, but she doesn't let it keep her from trying to do better.

I walk into the waiting room and see two extremely despondent men staring off into space. Both Rabb and Webb look exhausted, but it's the pain that haunts their eyes that really gets my attention. I got the update that she had slipped into a coma during the surgery just before I got on the plane. From what I was told I know that just one of the gunshot wounds would have been enough to threaten her life, but both of them together... I am surprised she is even alive. Grateful, but surprised. I hoped by the time I got here that she would have pulled out of it. Just looking at the two men I can tell that she hasn't. I wonder where her husband is and wonder how we are going to be able to deal with him.

I stand in front of them and clear my throat to get their attention. Rabb comes to attention immediately, but he won't meet my eyes. Webb just looks up, and then looks away.

"At ease, Rabb. Is there any news?" Right now I am barely holding back the urge to tear into both of them, but I know that won't help and they're in enough pain as it is.

"No, sir. She still hasn't pulled out of the coma. She hasn't gotten any worse, but not any better either." He is still avoiding looking at me. Smart man.

"You're both exhausted. I don't want to see you back here for at least 8 hours." Rabb starts to protest. "I will inform you immediately if there is any change, but right now I don't want to look at either one of you. Dismissed." The disgust in my voice probably makes my point better than anything I could say. Rabb simply nods and leaves as Clay carefully stays out of arms reach and follows Rabb. Part of me is still feeling guilty about letting her take the assignment and maybe I am taking it out on them a bit. I've rationalized a hundred times that she really was the best person for the job, but that has seldom soothed the pangs of my conscience.

I make my way to the nurses station and explain who I am and whom I am here to see. As I stand just inside the room, I see a man sitting next to her, holding her hand and talking to her softly in what must be Arabic. The love in his eyes and voice are unmistakable. I guess I've found her husband. As my eyes move to her still form, I am overwhelmed with how pale and lifeless she looks. There is little color to her usually olive skin and the vibrance that is Sarah Mackenzie seems to have completely left her. I'm not even sure this is the same woman that left for this mission almost 2 years ago. My mind struggles to take in the fact that she is even still alive, though barely. It wasn't until about 2 months ago that I finally believed she was really dead, and not just missing. To see her hanging on to life so precariously is hard for my mind to accept. I haven't told any of the staff about what is happening. They have been through enough already and don't need to worry one way or another until we're sure that Mac is going to pull out of this. My thoughts are interrupted as I feel her husband's gaze on me. The distrust and question as to who I am is clear in his eyes.

I am not even sure if he speaks English. At the questioning look in my eyes he introduces himself, thankfully in English.

"How do you know Amirah?"

At his question I struggle with what to say and how to tell him that the woman he loves is an American military officer. I know he has to already have an idea of that. We are on an American military base. I'm also a bit wary as to the effect this will have on him and I really don't need a confrontation with him. Sighing, I move to another chair in the room.

"The colonel, er, Amirah, was under my command when she left for this mission." His eyes darken and he looks at me apprehensively.

"So it is true. She is a spy?"

Shaking my head I struggle again with how to explain who Mac is without giving away any details he shouldn't know. "No, She's a Marine lawyer. We chose her to go undercover in Al-Farabi's home because of her skills in Farsi and Arabic."

I can see the confusion on his face. "She is a lawyer?"

"A marine lawyer."

In his silence I can tell he is trying to come to terms with the fact that the woman he loves isn't who he thinks she is. "She was not sent to spy on me?" His question is filled with anguish and I know he doubts everything that has happened between them.

"No, Jabir. She was only supposed to be at Al-Fabir's for a few months."

"But then I took her away from Al-Fabir and you did not know where she was?"

The pain I felt at her disappearance flashes through me and my voice is barely a whisper as I look over to her still form. "We thought she had been killed."

I can feel his careful consideration of what I have said. "You care for her very much?"

His underlying question is obvious. "Yes Jabir. She is very special to me. Like a daughter." His relief at my description of my feelings for Mac is apparent. His body language becomes less defensive and he sits back down next to her.

"I love her very much."

Once again the uncertainty and pain in his voice is obvious. "Jabir, from what I have heard she is very much in love with you too." His eyes still hold skepticism.

"Jabir, I know that she told one of my men that she wished she could stay here with you, instead of going back to her friends and her own country." He's still not convinced and for some unknown reason to me I really want this man to know how much she loves him. There is a basic goodness to him that is visible. I realize as well that I am grateful to him for keeping her safe even if he didn't know what he was doing. "Jabir, why would she sacrifice her life for you if she didn't love you. If she were just spying on you, she wouldn't have done that. Her love for you was too much for her to let you die."

His acceptance of what I have said visibly washes through him and he starts to sob as he holds her hand. Turning away from me he calls softly to her again. The pleading tone in his voice is enough for me to know that he is begging her to come back to him. I just hope she hears him. I really don't want to lose her all over again.

The next few hours pass with him trying to explain what happened in the year that Mac has been missing. He talked of how he had taken her from Al-Fabir and her initial distrust of him. He laughed as he told me that she hadn't said a single word to him for an entire month. That's my stubborn jarhead all right. I watched as he was transported to another world as he told me of how he had been mesmerized with her from the very beginning. He could tell she was different and even as a servant she possessed more strength, intelligence and beauty than any woman he had ever met. Given that he is a Sheik's son, I know his experience with women can't be limited. Something seemed to click in his mind as he told me of the first time she let him touch her. "She could not love me until she knew that I didn't agree with my father's attempts to purchase weapons for Al-Queida. Now I understand why it was so important to her."

He sat in silence as I wondered at their relationship. Seeming to sense my questions he rushed to assure me that he never touched her until she came to him. "I would never hurt Amirah that way… Amirah doesn't seem to understand how beautiful she is, especially in her heart. She has been hurt many times in her past?" At my nod, he continued. "I could see the pain in her eyes. I thought it was for her dead husband, but it was for someone else?"

How do I answer that question? Rabb has by far hurt her the most, but there have been others. And there's her father, who although I know she has forgiven, she still carries the scars of his emotional abuse. "Mac has been hurt by most of the men in her life, in one way or another." His eyes flood with anger at the thought that anyone could be cruel to her.

"She is called Mac?"

"That is what her friends call her. Its part of her last name, but her first name is Sarah." He is hungry to know more about her and the life that she lived before he knew her.

"My Amirah is strong." He has pride in his eyes as he looks back to her. "but she is also soft and loving." As he looks back to me, his eyes are filled with fear. "You are going to take her away from me?" It seems more of a statement than a question.

I don't know how to answer that and I can't hold his gaze. "She can't stay, Jabir. She won't be safe. She has family and friends that love her and miss her. They still think she is dead."

He stares back to her again. "I cannot lose her." He ponders his next statement for several minutes before he voices it out loud. "Can I come with her? I would give up anything to be with Amirah."

I know this man has just inherited billions of oil and property with his father's death, but he is ready to give it all up for Mac. I think Mac has finally made a very good choice in Jabir. I'm afraid at what will happen to either one if they are separated.

"That's not up to me, Jabir. There are so many issues to be decided. When people find out about who she is, there will be danger. For both of you. How will you deal with that?"

"I will do anything to stay with her. Anything." The resolve in his eyes gives me hope that they just might make it through this; if Mac will just wake up.

2 days later
Mac's hospital room

***Admiral Chegwidden's POV***

It's been 2 days since I got here and still no sign that she will come out of this damn coma. I don't think Jabir has left her side for more than a few minutes at a time; except for after I told him about his father. His reaction is still a mystery to me. He was definitely upset, but there seemed to be an underlying relief at the news. I wonder what the full story is there. There is an unspoken but fragile truce between Jabir and Webb and Rabb. The first day that Jabir and I talked he asked about them. I tried to explain what happened, but the pain on their faces has done more to soften his hate than anything else. Webb and Rabb have mostly stayed in the waiting area. I think looking at her fragile condition is too hard for both of them, considering it's their fault. I'm mildly surprised that Webb hasn't left given his importance with the CIA, but he remains; growing more despondent by the hour. Rabb is even worse and is barely holding himself together. Mac, do you know how many lives hang in the balance with yours?

***Mac's POV***

My body feels so heavy. Everything is muted and fuzzy. I am struggling to remember where I am and what happened but my mind seems completely disconnected from my body. The only sound in the room is the soft whirring of machines, but I can feel someone's presence next to me. My body jerks as I remember the sounds of the shots being fired and images of their guns pointed at Jabir. That vision is replaced by eyes looking at me; cold and accusing. Overwhelming fear tightens my chest and I struggle to breathe. I try to call out for Jabir, but something stops me and icicles of fear cut through me. I struggle trying to free myself but as I do pain explodes through my body. The intensity of it makes my skin flush and I feel my stomach churn. Where is he?!

***Admiral's POV***

The frantic beeping of the machines grabs my attention and I see her body jerk. She seems to be fighting something unseen as she struggles wildly. The breathing tube keeps her from calling out and she gasps for breath, fighting the machine that has been keeping her alive. Her eyes are open but unseeing as Jabir tries to calm her. The frantic activity on the monitors brings the nurses and a doctor rushing into the room. One of them shouts that they have to stabilize her fast or they could lose her. Jabir is still calling to her franticly, trying to get through to her. Hearing the shouting, Webb and Rabb rush into the room and stare in terror as the doctor yells orders to his staff. One of the nurses pushes Jabir away and he desperately tries to reach her. Finally, he pushes the nurse out of the way and leans over to her. Pullling her face to his he calls to her again. A flash of recognition passes through her eyes and she immediately starts to relax. He strokes her face and starts talking to her softly, trying to reassure her. I watch as her heart rate slowly returns to normal and her breathing becomes less labored. The doctor waits a few minutes more and before he leaves tells Jabir that he will remove the breathing tube in a few hours once he is sure that she is stable. As Jabir gazes at her, I see his love for her reflected back to him in her own eyes. Although I can't understand a word that Jabir is saying to her, I suddenly feel as though I am intruding on what should be a private moment. I am afraid as well that once she sees Webb and Rabb she will become upset again and hurt herself. I motion to both of them to follow me out. The longing in Rabb's eyes tears at me. I know he wants to hold her and comfort her as Jabir is doing, but he lost that right a long time ago. And I'm not sure he will ever have the chance again.

***Mac's POV***

I listen as Jabir explains that I have been in a coma for several days. The pain and fear in his eyes breaks my heart as he tells me that he thought he had lost me. His eyes shine with love and I am suddenly afraid because I know he will despise me once he knows who I am. My eyes tear as I think of the hate and betrayal that I know will replace the love I see.

"Amirah, why do you cry? Are you in pain?" the desperation in his voice makes my tears flow faster.

Damn it. I can't say anything with this stupid breathing tube in. I can't stand to look at him and I try to turn my face away, feeling ashamed at having deceived him. I feel his hands gently pull my face back as he begs to know what is wrong. I fight to turn away again, but he is too strong and I feel my body give into the sleep that is calling to me. As I fight the heaviness of my eyelids, the last thing I see are his tears slipping down his face.

***Webb POV****

None of us have spoken a word since we left Mac's room. I can't even begin to express the relief I feel that she has woken up. The doctor seems to think that now that she has she will recover fully, but it will take a few weeks. The admiral hasn't said anything, and I know he is at a loss as to what can be done for Mac and Jabir. Rabb just sits silently, staring at the floor. I feel pity for him. He has lost Mac all over again, but this time to another man. I'm not really sure how he is going to handle it, but there are a lot of unknowns in this situation. I don't know how Mac is going to deal with being separated from Jabir. This situation couldn't be messier. With his father's death, Jabir is the sole inheritor of billions of dollars in land and oil refineries, but most of it is in Iraq. His father was an Al-Queida supporter and he is married to an American military officer. Our government is not exactly going to welcome him with open arms, unless…. No, I shouldn't even think about it. If something happened to him because I get him involved, Mac will kill me. I can't stand the silence any longer and get up to walk around. As I pass by Mac's room I hear Jabir begging her to tell him what is wrong, but she is too tired to keep her eyes open. As she slips into sleep, Jabir looks around helplessly.

"Is she ok?" My question is barely a whisper but it startles him. His eyes are at first filled with hate for me, but he seems too tired to be able to maintain the feeling. He shakes his head and slips back into the chair.

"She won't even look at me. I do not understand what is wrong."

I know this isn't any of my business, but I know Mac well enough to know that she is probably feeling guilty for deceiving him. And the love she feels for him has been obvious, so that leads me to one conclusion. "Do you think that she's afraid you'll hate her, now that you know who she is?"

The thought of hating her seems abhorrent to Jabir as he shakes his head vigorously. "I could never hate Amirah. She is my life. She is everything to me. I understand why she betrayed my father. I wish I had the courage to stop him myself. What he was doing was wrong, but I was afraid of him. Nothing but Amirah matters to me."

I consider myself a hardened spook, but his heartfelt declaration of love touches me. I decide immediately that I will do everything possible to help him come to America with Mac. She deserves some happiness, and I owe her for so many things. I am again faced with my own shame for doubting Mac and putting her in this position. Rabb may hate me for what I do now, but I know that even in his own pain he wants her to be happy. "Jabir, you need to tell Mac that you know who she is. She needs to know that you don't hate her for what she had to do, and for lying to you." He nods his understanding and I see a flicker of gratefulness pass through his eyes. As I leave the room, I feel marginally good about myself for the first time in years.

***Harm's POV****

She's going to live. I'm not sure if she will ever be able to forgive me for what I've done, but at least she is alive. The relief is bittersweet as I realize that I have found her only to lose her again. Part of me is truly happy for her. I have never seen so much peace and happiness in her eyes, as I did when she was with Jabir that night. But, I am afraid for her as well. I don't know how they are going to work out all the issues surrounding Jabir and who he is. I wonder if she will even come back and work at JAG. She certainly doesn't need to work to support herself. I know that Mac loved her job and it was never for money, but she is so different now that I don't know if she will even want to be a Marine anymore. That thought sends chills down my spine. So much of Mac is, or was, being a marine. Surely she hasn't changed that much.

I don't know what I am going to say when I see her. An apology sure as hell doesn't cut it when you doubt the woman you love and then almost kill her. The Admiral has hardly said a word to me. I can't blame him, after what I have done. I'll be lucky if he doesn't bring me up on charges.