Chapter 5: Discovery with Angel and Cordelia

Angel watched Dawn and Kate talk for a moment in the lobby before Kate left. He glanced back down at the desk, where the drawing he’d done of Dawn rested. After he’d put her in bed, he’d filled in the background for the picture, but something was definitely missing. He picked the drawing up, eyeing it critically and reaching for his pencil.

Then his hand stopped. He opened a drawer and picked up a kit filled with colored pencils. Selecting a flesh-colored one, he began to add color to the picture, starting with Dawn’s face. He grew so absorbed in his task it took him by surprise when Dawn entered the office, asking, "What are you doing?"

"Working on your portrait. Want to see?"

Dawn hopped up on the desk beside him and took a look. "Can you change it so I’m not wearing my pajamas?" she asked.

He chuckled. "That’s a little hard at this point. Besides, I kind of like the composition. The office around you will all be in dark colors, and you’ll be in the middle of it in those white pajamas. It’ll draw the eye to you. You see . . ." He cut himself off, seeing the amusement in Dawn’s face. "Okay, so I get enthusiastic about art."

"It’s okay. You’re only human."

Angel chuckled at that and continued coloring. As he did so, he felt a little warm weight settle against his shoulder. It was Dawn, resting her cheek against him. He decided he loved the feeling. She smelled good, of warm earth and sunlight, Cordelia’s makeup set, strawberry shampoo—and that cardigan she was wearing was her mother’s. He recognized Joyce’s perfume.

"How are you doing, Dawn?"

There was a long pause before she answered, "Not great. Better than I was, but not great."

"I can believe that."

"Kate said I shouldn’t tell anybody I was okay until I really was. Sometimes it just saves time, though, y’know?"

"Sometimes," he agreed. "But with people who know you and care about you, you’re better off being honest about not being okay. It’s good you know that now, because it can turn you into a real wreck if you have to figure it out later. Kate and I both made that mistake."

A soft sigh. "I was going to ask if it got easier after the first two centuries."

Angel set down his pencil long enough to affectionately rub a thumb across her warm cheek. "It’s not great—but I’m better than I was."

***

From outside the office, Cordelia watched with a soft pang in her heart. The tenderness of the scene inside reminded her all too vividly of good memories: talking quietly with Angel, leaning on him when she grew sleepy or just needed affection, simply being with the man who had become her first friend—her first real friend.

That was what had hurt so much. When Angel had brushed them all aside to go on his vendetta, she’d lost the first person she’d ever felt love from. Wesley and even Gunn, in his way, loved her now, and Doyle had loved her first, but it wasn’t until she and Angel had bonded in the wake of losing Doyle that she’d first truly understood what it was to be loved. And not in a "romantic," hormonal way, though she thought Xander might have loved her in some teenage-boy fashion. Someone had loved her in the way of a dear and true friend, and she’d loved him in return, and that someone had been Angel.

Now she was afraid they wouldn’t be able to recapture that. She was afraid of not being able to open her heart to him again . . . and she wanted to.

"Cordelia?" It was Wesley. "What are . . ." He trailed off when he saw the scene taking place in the office. Angel was comparing two brown pencils to Dawn’s hair, and she was laughing. As the vampire started coloring again, the girl laid her cheek back against his shoulder.

Cordelia sighed. "Once in a while, just once in a while, I remember why we’re giving him a second chance."

"Yes." Wesley seemed genuinely affected, too. "That does remind one. That, of course, and him bribing you with a new wardrobe."

Cordelia rolled her eyes to the heavens as a familiar round of bickering beckoned. "Okay, that would be Snarky British Guy comment number 316 re: the Angel Collection. I swear, Wesley, you can be such a bitch sometimes."

"At least I’m not a clothes whore."

"And again with the bitchy, No-Butt."

"Fashionista."

"Fashion victim."

Wesley looked at his watch. "I’d continue this, but I’ve errands to run."

"Same time tomorrow?"

"I’ll be ready."

Cordelia watched him go with a grin. Wesley really had been irritated with her for practically jumping all over Angel after he’d given her the clothes, but she suspected he was simply milking the situation in order to have something to irritate her with. Which was okay, seeing as her day planner had "Annoy Wesley" written on every page. What were friends for, if not to drive each other crazy?

She looked back at Angel and Dawn and made another decision. She walked to the door of the office. "Hey, you two. What’s up?"

"Angel’s doing a picture of me," announced Dawn happily.

Angel looked at Cordelia, a slight apprehension in his eyes, as if he was afraid of doing something without getting clearance for it first. She felt a knot clutch in her stomach. Why couldn’t things be simple again?

The Seer walked further into the office, casually surveying the drawing. "It’s beautiful. Couldn’t you do something about the pajamas, though?"

Angel actually laughed. "Kathy asked the same thing."

Cordelia froze.

"Who’s Kathy?" asked Dawn innocently.

Angel froze. His eyes met Cordelia’s, and for a moment, she understood perfectly what he was feeling and thinking. Kathy, his little sister, whom he had loved as a human and killed as a vampire, had been one of his confidences to Cordelia during the previous summer.

Of course Dawn would remind him of her, thought the Seer. She returned his gaze, allowing sympathy to flow into her own eyes.

Dawn looked between them, confused. "What’s wrong?"

"I . . ." Angel looked at her, at a loss. "I had a little sister once, too. That was her name, Kathy. I guess you just remind me of her."

"Really?" Dawn’s interest had been piqued. "What was she like?"

Cordelia watched as Angel tried to gather words. This had to be painful for him, but she didn’t see how she could intervene.

"She was like you. Sweet, smart, imaginative, always wanting to be a part of things. Her hair was darker than yours, and her eyes were my color, but her face was a bit like yours—expressive, wide-open, and very pretty."

"Did you two get along?"

Angel smiled sadly. "While I was human, there was nothing in the world I loved better."

Cordelia really hoped the next question wouldn’t be what she thought it was.

Dawn was looking Angel in the face. "You still remember her."

Another sad smile. "There’s no way I could ever forget."

And that seemed to satisfy Dawn, for she relaxed against Angel once more. Angel looked back up at Cordelia, who smiled gently. For a moment, just a moment, that lost connection was back.

Then the phone rang. Angel automatically picked it up. "Angel Investigations . . . hi, Buffy. Everything’s fine. No, no demons, just a Razoth Beast this morning, and it’s been taken care of . . . no, not inside the hotel, in the sewers. Yes, she’s here." He put his hand over the receiver. "Want to talk to your sister?"

Dawn had instantly gone back into her sulk at the mention of her sister’s name. Cordelia covered a grin. This kid was good!

Reluctantly, the teen accepted the phone. "Hi." Huge, long-suffering sigh. "I’m fine. I finished my homework." Deeper mope. "No, I’ll be fine. Go ahead and slay. ‘Bye." She handed the phone back to Angel, who was maintaining his straight face through sheer force of will.

"Buffy? Yeah, I got that. Don’t worry about us, we’ll be fine. Okay, we’ll see you then." He sobered for real. "Good luck, Buffy. Take care of yourself." He set down the phone and turned to Dawn. "Buffy suggests I give you a noogie."

Dawn bolted from the desk, squealing, and hid behind Cordelia. "Don’t let him!"

"Of course I won’t. Angel, you know she was only maintaining her standing in the Little Sisters’ Guild of America. Am I right, Dawn?"

"I’ve gotta make it hard for her," protested Dawn. "It’s in my contract."

One moment, Angel was laughing. The next, all expression had washed from his face, and he’d risen from the desk. It was scary-as-Hell vampire time.

"What is it?" asked Cordelia.

"Cordelia, you and Dawn stay in here and block the door. Something’s here."

The note of command in his voice was so absolute that Cordelia and Dawn were moving into the office almost before he finished talking. Angel walked out past them, shutting the door, and they began to move the desk in front of it.

"What’s happening?" asked Dawn, her voice small and frightened.

"It’s okay, Dawn. Angel will take care of it." Suddenly, there was movement outside the office. Cordelia watched as Angel, axe in hand, took on a Kaliff demon. There were several of them in the lobby now, all of them attacking. There was also another kind of demon, this one smaller and scabbier than the others, and wearing a monk’s robe. The Seer turned and put one arm around Dawn, forcing the girl to sit down on the floor with her. The sounds of battle continued from outside.

A new sound suddenly entered: the low, frightening snarl of a vampire.

"And the fangs come out," breathed Cordelia. "These guys have made Angel mad. Bad for them."

Sure enough, the sounds of the fight abruptly ceased a few seconds later. There was a hard thump, and then Cordelia heard Angel’s voice. Cautiously, she stood. Dawn was already struggling to move the desk.

As they exited the office, they caught sight of Angel on the far side of the lobby, holding the demon in the monk’s robe against the wall with one hand. Angel’s face was mostly away from them, but Cordelia knew instinctively he was vamped out. The rest of the demons—about five total—lay strewn about the lobby, unconscious or dead.

"Come on," she said to Dawn, but the girl wasn’t moving. She was listening to the "conversation" Angel was having with the demon.

"I said, my name’s Angelus. What’s yours?" This was followed by another thump as Angel bashed the thing’s head on the wall.

The thing apparently had had enough. "I am called Nil, a name not worthy of being spoken in the presence of Her High and Shiny Exaltedness. I am but a humble supplicant of the Grand and Pulchritudinous One, the . . ."

"You’re an obsequious little toady of Glory’s," Angel interrupted.

The demon positively beamed. "The Eminent Angelus is too kind."

"What does she want? Why are you here?"

"She Who Embodies Perfection entrusted this unworthy servant only with the information necessary to complete his mission. I cannot say . . ."

The next thump knocked a piece of the drywall out. "You’ll say, or you’ll bleed."

"Well put, O Forceful One. The Magnificent Glorificus wished to know: Why did the Slayer go to the City of Angels? I was graced with the task of learning this, and given authority over Her" (and he spoke it with a capital "H") "forces in this city. There is also a Razoth Beast approaching, even now."

"Killed it this morning," Angel growled. "You can tell Glory she was too late."

Just then, Nil’s eyes flickered to Dawn and Cordelia. "A body might wonder what the Slayer’s sister is doing in the lair of the Formidable Angelus." He gave an "eep" as Angel’s hand tightened around his throat. "Perhaps he is but saving her for dinner."

"A body won’t wonder long." The quietly-spoken words sent chills down Cordelia’s spine. "Cordelia, take Dawn upstairs. Now."

Cordelia took Dawn’s shoulders and steered her toward the staircase. The girl didn’t resist as Cordelia ushered her up the stairs and to their room. Once there, Dawn went to the sofa and sat, spine stick-straight. Cordelia sat beside her, concerned.

"Angel’s going to kill him, isn’t he?" the girl asked in a flat voice after a moment.

Cordelia took a deep breath. "Yes. If that demon gets back to Glory with the information you’re here, she might figure out you’re the Key."

"This is my fault." Dawn swallowed, shaking. "Buffy keeps getting hurt because of me. All the Scoobies keep getting hurt. Angel and Gunn got hurt. It’s all my fault."

"No!" Cordelia forced Dawn to look at her. "Dawn, listen: less than a year ago, someone tried to kill me, and in a really painful way. They did it to get at Angel. But you know what? I never blamed him, because it wasn’t his choice. He didn’t make them do what they did. All he did was protect me and care for me. The people who tried to kill me were the ones at fault for everything that happened. Buffy and the Slayerettes are protecting you because they love you. Glory’s the one to blame for them getting hurt. Don’t forget that."

Dawn nodded, but Cordelia wasn’t sure she’d penetrated. "My head itches."

"Let’s get those hairpins out, then." Cordelia went and fetched a brush, then seated Dawn on the floor between her knees. One by one, she removed the pins holding Dawn’s French roll. Then she began to brush the younger girl’s hair. Dawn relaxed as she did so, leaning against the Seer’s legs. Cordelia kept brushing until there was a knock at the door.

Angel opened it a moment later but didn’t enter, leaning instead on the doorframe. Cordelia could see the light of battle slowly dying in his eyes.

"It’s over," he said heavily. "I took care of everything. Wesley and Gunn are headed over, and Kate’s already here. Dawn, I called Sunnydale. Buffy said she’s afraid taking you home now would just be a frying-pan-into-the-fire scenario—things are really heating up there—so I told her we’d take care of you tonight, and she’ll come and get you just as soon as she can tomorrow. Cordelia, we’re holding a war council downstairs just as soon as everyone’s here." He breathed deeply. "Are you two okay?"

Dawn said nothing. "We’re okay," Cordelia assured him. "I’ll be down soon."

"All right." Angel turned to leave.

"Are you okay?"

The question was from Dawn. Angel turned back and looked at her.

"Did you get hurt?" she asked.

"No." Angel smiled. "No, I’m fine. Thanks for asking, Dawn."

He left, and Cordelia brushed Dawn’s hair for another few minutes. "Listen, I’m going to have to go down and talk shop with the gang, but I won’t be gone long. Why don’t you . . ."

"I’m going with you," Dawn interrupted.

"Look, Dawn, it’ll just be a lot of boring . . ."

"I’m going with you." The girl’s tone was firm. "I’m sick of people making decisions about me without even checking to see if it’s okay with me. If you guys are going to talk about me, I want to be there."

Not even Queen C could stand up to that. "Okay. We’ll go down together."

Author’s Note: Sorry, Gunn fans—I couldn’t come up with an idea for a chapter with just him. Take comfort, though; given how terrible I am at writing his dialect, it’s most likely A Good Thing. Love the guy, but he’s impossible to write.

Chapter 6: Telling Stories with Gunn and Cordelia

Gunn, Wesley, Kate, and Angel were all in the lobby when Cordelia and Dawn arrived. Kate gave Dawn a mystified look. Angel must have told her of Dawn’s secret. Cordelia gave Wesley a shrug when he looked at her questioningly. He, in turn, appeared to decide Dawn had as much right to be here as anyone else.

"What’s the plan?" Cordelia asked as she and Dawn seated themselves on the couch.

"Keeping Dawn safe is the priority," Wesley announced. "Therefore, we’ll all be stationed here tonight. All the entrances have been blocked off, Angel has sealed off the sewers, and all routes to Dawn’s room will be guarded. If any of Glory’s minions come back, we should be able to handle them." He paused. "If Glory herself comes, we should at least be able to buy escape time for Dawn. In that case, Cordelia, you’ll be charged with driving her back to Sunnydale. However, Buffy thinks, and I agree, that it is extremely unlikely Glory would leave Sunnydale if she still believes Buffy is guarding the Key personally."

"What about an alarm?" asked Dawn suddenly. "Tara and Willow set up a magical alarm so Glory couldn’t get close without us knowing. Couldn’t you do something like that?"

Wesley seemed startled. "Actually, I might be able to. Now, they’re both experienced witches, so whatever I can do would likely be much less sophisticated, however . . ." He trailed off and fetched a book. "There’s a protection spell in here that’s not too complicated." A frown appeared between his eyes. "Not too sophisticated, either. I’m afraid Angel would set it off just by crossing the threshold."

"Not a problem," said Angel. "I’ll walk perimeter. If I have to come in, setting off an alarm will be a moot point anyway."

"Then it’s done." Wesley set down the book. "I’ll get started on the spell straightaway."

Cordelia felt Dawn lean up against her, and she put her arms around the girl. "See? Not a thing to worry about. These guys can handle anything. Right, Gunn?"

"Absolutely," agreed the young man. "Angel took out five of those things, and I’ve been working the streets since I was your age. Nothing out there we can’t handle. Even English ain’t too bad."

"Your words of praise will be my undoing," deadpanned Wesley.

Dawn looked up at Gunn. "What do you do?"

"I’m a demon fighter, kid. I’ve been fighting vamps and nasties half my life, me and my crew. Best the mean streets have to offer."

"That sounds cool." Dawn relaxed into Cordelia’s embrace. "Bet you’ve got some great stories."

Gunn was on his feet in an instant. "You know it. This one time, me and my boys Domonique and Raul were out patrolling. It was Raul’s first time, and he was all edgy, and Domonique’s just crazy to begin with. I think his mama dropped him when he was a baby or something. Anyways, we were out walkin’ the streets, and Raul’s jumping at every shadow, and Domonique’s giving him a hard time, and I’m just trying to get the two of them to shut themselves up, ‘cause the vamps on the other side of town can hear us, know what I mean?

"So we’re makin’ all this racket, and these four vamps decide we look like good eating. These guys are big and mean and ugly, you know? Like any vamp’s lookin’ good all bumpy-faced, but these guys got hit a few extra times with the ugly stick. I call ‘em Scarface, Snaggletooth, Blondie, ‘cuz this guy had, like, foot-high blond hair, and Moe. Moe’s the smart one, he hangs back when Scarface and Blondie go runnin’ in on us. Domonique stakes Blondie, and it’s even odds. Or it would be if Raul didn’t do a freak-out. That boy’s standing there screaming like a Wesley."

"I object to that remark very strongly," Wesley’s voice informed them from the office.

Gunn grinned wickedly. He was having a great time with his story, acting out all parts while doing the narration. "So anyway, Raul’s screaming like a girly-man, and Domonique and I, we’re just trying to keep from gettin’ sucked. I got my stake knocked out of my hand and had to go in with my fists against Snaggletooth. I knocked some of his crooked teeth down his throat—"

"Without even breaking a sweat," interposed Cordelia.

"You know it. Snaggletooth and me, we’re fightin’, and I see Moe making for Raul. So I go all postal on Snaggletooth, waving my arms and yelling all ‘Aaaah!’ and I swear this vamp was lookin’ at me like, ‘What’s up with this guy?’ but while he’s wonderin’, I’m getting my stake, and poof! There goes Snaggletooth. But Domonique’s still goin’ off on Scarface, and Raul, he’s a sitting duck for Moe. Now, Raul’s got a stake, and he’s holding it out in front of him like this," and Gunn mimed awkwardly holding a stake with both hands about chest high, "like that’s gonna scare Moe.

"So you know what I do? I run over, grab Moe by one arm, and he’s not expecting me. I swing him around like this," Gunn whirled, holding out his arms in front of him, "and he lands poof!" Gunn clapped his hands hard. "Right on Raul’s stake. Domonique finishes killing Scarface, and he’s hooting and howling, and Raul’s tryin’ to hack up a lung, ‘cause he just breathed in a bunch of vamp dust!"

"That’s really gross," opined Angel, gliding past and pulling on his black duster.

"Again I remind you of the pig’s blood," Gunn shot back.

Dawn laughed. "That’s a really great story. Buffy doesn’t tell me stories about slaying. I mean, come on! It’s not like I don’t know what a vampire getting dusted looks like."

Angel knelt down by the couch. "You okay with all this, Dawn?"

"Yeah, I’m fine," Dawn said, and she really seemed to mean it.

Angel leaned in and kissed her forehead. "Don’t worry about a thing. We’re all watching over you." He smiled into her eyes, then stood smoothly and left the building.

Dawn sighed happily, snuggling against Cordelia. "That’s way better than any of my stories, Gunn. All I got was kidnapped by Harmony, and she’s, like . . ."

"Harmony?!?" both Gunn and Cordelia shouted.

"Harmony kidnapped you?" demanded Cordelia.

"Yeah! Do you know her?"

"Vapid Vamp herself, yeah, I know her. I should have staked her so bad." Cordelia made a disgusted noise. "She didn’t hurt you, did she?"

Dawn looked up at her. "No, don’t worry. She had this idea she was going to be the Big Bad in town and wanted to call Buffy out, so she had her minions grab me."

"Minions? Harmony?" Cordelia started giggling uncontrollably. "Did she, like, wear black leather?"

Dawn giggled, too. "Yep. The worst part was when she chained me up in a cave and made me listen to her whine about how much her unlife sucked. Did you know she used to go with Spike?"

This was just getting better and better. "Spike rebounded to Harmony after Drusilla dumped him? Oh, man, does that boy have bad taste in women!"

"Yeah. She called him her Blondie Bear."

That sent Cordelia into convulsions of laughter, falling back on the couch and dragging Dawn down with her. When the Seer finally recovered, she said, "I don’t know if I should tell Angel that one. He could laugh himself right out of his soul."

"Got any more stories, Gunn?" asked Dawn.

"Oh, yeah. You know how I told you Domonique’s makin’ with the crazy? Well, this one time . . ."

***

An hour and five stories later, Dawn had finally been persuaded to go to bed. She and Cordelia laid on the bed together, eating popcorn and talking.

" . . . and that’s when I found out Mark ‘I’m in a serious relationship with my mirror’ Quigman had decided I was going to be his latest conquest. Not only that, he knew where I lived because he’d shacked up with my downstairs neighbor for like thirty seconds. I tried blowing him off every way I knew how, even told him I was living with someone, which was technically true thanks to Angel’s apartment going blooie, but he just wasn’t getting it. Morning after the party, guess who shows up at my place?"

"Mark the Jerk?" guessed Dawn.

"The very same. Now, Angel and I kind of had an arrangement while he was staying with me. Since he stayed up most of the night, I let him use the bedroom after I got up in the morning. I was eating breakfast when Mr. God’s Gift to Women knocked on my door. I started in with the blowing-off again, and just then, my bedroom door opens . . ."

" . . . and Angel came out!" Dawn giggled. "What did Mark the Jerk do?"

"He sized it up pretty quick. Angel coming out of my bedroom, all adorable bed-head and bleary eyes, half a head taller and way the heck more built, gorgeous—that’s competition not even Mark the Clueless could take. I could have kissed Angel for that one. Which reminds me—I’ve got a picture of Angel for you to put up in your locker. That’ll give you one up on Kirstie. You’ll have a genuine, live hottie who you actually know in your locker. Justin Timberlake, nothin’!"

"I don’t even like Justin Timberlake." Dawn wrinkled her nose. "Angel’s way better looking. What do I say if someone asks me about the picture?"

"Just say, ‘Him? That’s Angel.’ And if they press, tell them he’s your friend. Be really casual about it. It’ll drive ‘em nuts!"

The room door opened, and Kate appeared in the bedroom doorway. "Hi. I’m staying in Angel’s room tonight, so I’ll be right next door. Is everything okay here?"

"Just fine. Thanks, Kate," said Cordelia. She still wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the former cop, but the truce with Angel seemed real enough.

"No problem. Good night, Dawn."

"Night. Don’t let the vampires bite," called Dawn.

Kate grinned. "Don’t worry. I won’t make the same mistake twice." With that, she left.

Dawn immediately pinned Cordelia with her gaze. "Do she and Angel have a thing going?"

What a loaded question, thought Cordelia. "Sort of. Once. I think they kind of had the beginnings of a mutual crush, but that got sidelined by . . . a very, very long story with a lot of boring parts. I think any UST between them is destined to remain U. Which is a good thing, seeing as they’re both incredibly stubborn and intense people and what with her blond hair and all, it’d be like Buffy/Angel redux. At least, in my humble opinion."

That apparently got Dawn’s gears working in another direction. "Cordy, did you ever have a . . . you know, thing with Angel?"

"No way!" Cordelia answered automatically. The blue gaze on her face never wavered. "Not a thing. Really. Not exactly." She sighed and gave in. "You can never tell any of the Slayerettes about this, okay? Not one word."

Dawn made a zipping motion across her lips. Good enough, Cordelia decided. "Angel and I had a Moment."

"A Moment?"

"A Moment. It was only a little while after Doyle died. I’d sort of been developing feelings for Doyle, and when he died . . . they say the saddest words are ‘What might have been.’ I don’t know how much more I’d have felt for him, and his death made me feel sort of empty and clingy, like I had to hold on extra tight to the friend I had left. That, of course, was Angel. Wesley had made his appearance, but he wasn’t really close to us yet.

"Anyway, about a month after Doyle’s death, I was still getting used to the visions. One day, I was down in Angel’s old apartment—I don’t even remember why—when a vision hit. I already had a headache at the time, and it just seemed cruel. Angel made me lie down on the couch before he left to go take care of the Monster du Jour. I was meaning to just lay there until my head cleared, but I guess I fell asleep.

"When I woke up, I was in Angel’s bed. He’d returned to find me asleep, and you know how smooth he is—I never even woke up when he moved me. As I was stretching, Angel came in and knelt by the bed, asking how I was doing. I said I was fine and asked him how things had gone, and he started telling me.

"Then he reached over and brushed a bit of my hair behind my ear, and all of a sudden, we were having a Moment. Our faces were only a few inches apart. If either one of us had moved, we’d have kissed. And boy, did we want to."

"How could you tell?" asked Dawn, eyes all dreamy. "I mean, that he wanted to kiss you?"

"Oh, you can so tell when a guy wants to kiss you. Dead giveaway: he can’t keep himself from looking at your lips. His eyes will attract like they’ve got magnets in ‘em."

"And that’s what Angel did?"

"Twice. I wasn’t exactly keeping my eyes to myself, either. Just an inch, and gravity would’ve taken us in."

Dawn sighed. "But you didn’t."

"But we didn’t. The Moment passed, and Angel stood up and asked if I wanted something to eat. There hasn’t been anything like that since." Cordelia paused, thoughtful. "I can’t say I’ve never wondered what it’d have been like, but . . . I’m glad things turned out the way they did. If we’d have given in and kissed that day, it would have changed everything. Everything."

The teen across from her looked puzzled. "Why? I mean, it was just a kiss, right?"

"No." Cordelia reached over and brushed Dawn’s hair behind her ear. "No, not that kind of kiss. You give a guy a kiss like that, you can never take it back." Dawn still looked puzzled. "You’ll understand someday."

"Hope so," Dawn murmured sleepily. Cordelia picked up the popcorn bowl and dumped the old maids in the trash. She turned off the lamps in the sitting room, then wandered back into Dawn’s room to shut the curtains. As she did so, she saw something that made her smile.

"Dawn, come here." Curious, the girl got out of bed and walked over to the window.

"What is it?"

"Just wait a moment—there!" Below, a dark figure glided soundlessly through a misty pool of light. "Guardian Angel."

Dawn smiled, too. "He’s really nice. I didn’t think so back in Sunnydale, but I think he’s nice now."

"Yes, he can be," agreed Cordelia a little wistfully.

Dawn was looking at her now. "Is there something wrong? Between you and Angel, I mean. I’ve been getting this weird vibe whenever you two are in a room together."

The girl’s perception startled and dismayed Cordelia a little. "The truth is, Angel had some problems earlier this year, and we’re all just starting to get things straightened out again. And yeah, I had a real problem with some things he did. He’s getting better, and things are getting better between us, but . . . I still feel like we’re tiptoeing around each other, and I hate it."

Dawn nodded sagely. "Yeah, Buffy and the Scoobies had a big blow-out last year, too. One night, she, Xander, and Willow yelled at each other for like an hour over at Giles’ place. I heard them talking about it later. But Buffy says they’re closer than ever now."

"I hope that happens. I really do. I mean, I still love him, I’m just not always sure I like him anymore."

"I get that." Dawn looked out the window again. Angel’s figure had vanished. "When I had a fight with my best friend, Buffy told me that you can never go back to the way it was before the fight—but a fight can make things better than ever if you can work it out."

Cordelia considered it. "That was a smart thing to say. She must’ve gotten it from Giles."

Dawn giggled. "Probably."

Cordelia gave her a hug. "You should get back to bed. I’ll be on the sofa."

"You don’t have to, you know," said Dawn. "I mean, it can’t be comfortable, and the bed’s big, and I swear I don’t thrash or try to snuggle, so if you want . . ." She trailed off, blushing even in the darkness.

"You know what? That’s a great idea. I’ll get my pillow."

A few minutes later, she and Dawn were both in bed. Dawn fell asleep almost immediately, but Cordelia stayed awake.

She could still feel Dawn’s emotions. It scared her. Lately, it seemed like until a case was put to rest, she could still feel the vision and the people in the vision. She didn’t know if it was just something she was more attuned to nowadays, or if the visions themselves were changing her, but ever since her vision, she’d felt Dawn: a sharp-edged mixture of ever-changing adolescent emotions, weighed down with the burden of grief and anxiety.

Cordelia closed her eyes. She wondered if she should talk to Wesley about it, but what could he do? He’d just fret, and Angel and Gunn would worry, too, if they found out. They were already enough like three mother hens.

No, she decided. It’s just part of the job. Another part of Doyle’s gift. He trusted me, and I can handle it.

Her hand brushed her pajama top, and she smiled to herself. The fine, brushed cotton, straight from the Gap, was another part of the Angel Collection, as he’d given away a set of her pajamas with her other things. It wasn’t the clothes that pleased her so much, although new clothes were always of the Good; it was the fact that what he’d bought was so very much her style. The fact that he’d paid that close attention to her, to what she liked and what looked good on her, was a reassurance that she still mattered to him.

With that reflection in mind, she fell asleep.

***

During the night, the Hyperion came under attack by groups of Kaliff demons twice. Neither time did any get past the threshold, and in her room, Dawn slept peacefully unaware.

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