ADVICE ON MEETING THE PUBLIC
by
Terilynn Richards
I've heard
many comments recently concerning the remarks some of you have
received from the public, while you were out dressed en-femme.
Well, I'm no expert at going out, but I do it alot these days.
And yes, each time I go out, I get read by a few people - probably
more, but the others don't make it obvious.
The
last time I got a rude comment from a female, I replied, "Pardon
me! What did you say?" Most apologize at this point,
whether or not they are sure about you. If they don't, (which has
happened to me), I say, "Ma'am, do you have some concerns about my
appearance?" At this point, any respectable woman would certainly
apologize and drop the matter. If not, you could add (politely,
of course), "You could use a little sprucing up yourself." If we
keep it civil, but stay firm, most folks will drop the issue. You
don't have to apologize for your appearance.
I get
read at least by one person on each outing to women's stores, like
Macy's, etc. Once a girl pointed me out to her mother and I could
lip-read that she said "crossdresser." Well, I slowly made my way
through the isles until I was next to her. Softly, I said, "Am I
that unusual a sight?" She told me that they had never seen a CD
in person. I then added, "Well, how do I look? She said
that they were surprised how nice I looked. I thanked her
and we parted ways. (I did see a very tall CD in Marshall Yosemite this summer. A very
tall CD walked into the Sport Shop. She was not dressed as a
tourist, but almost like a call-girl. My humble opinion is that
this sort of presentation does not endear us to the general public, but
rather continues to foster the notion that we are weird/sick.
Blend. Blend. Blend. If dressing sexy turns you on (it does me),
do it in the appropriate setting - not in Yosemite or Macy's.
Let me
give you an example of a recent outing:
I visited
a Kohl's store. As soon as I headed for the women's section, four
young female clerks spotted me. I noticed alot of looks, smiles,
giggles, and pointing to each other. Finally, I mosied up to
one clerk when she was alone and told her what I had observed.
I asked whether I was such an unusual sight. She was very open with me and told me that although she has heard of CD's, she has never seen one this close and certainly had never spoken to one. She seemed
really appreciative that I stopped to speak to her.
She said that she and the girls were saying how weird it was
and that they thought I must be weird. Another educational
opportunity to inform some folks about crossdressers. We had
quite a talk. She asked whether I was married and had a family,
whether I work and go to work dressed as Teri, etc. After
answering her questions she said, "Wow, so you're not a sicko, just a regular
guy." I added, " a 'regular' guy who enjoys the
feminine." She replied, "So you really enjoy dressing like
this? "Yes, I do" I replied. I asked whether I looked
presentable and she said I looked very nice and had a
nice figure. I thanked her. Don't we just love to get
compliments like that! Well, before we finished talking,
another clerk came over to the rack next to us, pretending to hang up
clothes. I guess she saw her friend and I engaged in, what seemed
like, an interesting conversation and she didn't want to miss out
on it. She caught a few of our last words and when I left, I had
two clerks smiling at me because I stopped to talk to them - and I
walked out with a bigger smile. I bet the entire female sales
staff now knows about my visit. I'm looking forward to my next
visit there and hope the same clerks are still there. I can't
wait to see how they react next time and whether any of them will come
over and say Hi. Really - smiling at folks who look or stare
at you really disarms them. It's my number one weapon, I mean
tool, in my survival-kit.
I asked whether I was such an unusual sight. She was very open with me and told me that although she has heard of CD's, she has never seen one this close and certainly had never spo
You do not have to take being insulted about
your appearance/gender. Just remember to smile, and if you
confront anyone, do it softly, in a friendly manner. But, also remember to stay strong
and firm in your response. You do not have to apologize for your
appearance. And if all your charm doesn't work, then you can
always try saying, "Ma'am, have you looked in the mirror lately?"
-- politely, of course.
