Now I will tell you
what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving
and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
(I'm going under)
Don't want your hand this time
I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily
defeated by you
Just when I thought
I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and stirring
the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real
and what's not
Always confusing
the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
So go on and scream
Scream at me
I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under
Bring Me To Life
How can you see into my eyes
like open doors
Leading you down into my core
Where I've become so numb
without a soul
my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and
lead it back home
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name
and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing
I've become
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me
Breathe into me and make me real
Bring me to life
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name
and save me from the dark
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing
I've become
Bring me to life
Frozen inside without your touch
without your love darling
Only you are the life
among the dead
All this time
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark
but you were there in front of me
I've been sleeping a thousand years
it seems
Got to open my eyes
to everything
Without a thought
without a voice
without a soul
Don't let me die here
There must be something more
Bring me to life
Everybody's Fool
Perfect by nature
Icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about a world that
Never was and never will be
Have you no shame
don't you see me
You know you've got everybody fooled
Look here she comes now
Bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you
No flaws when you're pretending
But now I know she
Never was and never will be
You don't know how
you've betrayed me
And somehow you've got everybody fooled
Without the mask
where will you hide
Can't find yourself
lost in your lie
I know the truth now
I know who you are
And I don't love you anymore
It never was and never will be
You're not real and
you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool
My Immortal
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all of my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
Haunted
Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there
Watching me wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you loving you
I won't let you pull me down
Hunting you I can smell you - alive
Your heart pounding in my head
Watching me wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me raping me
Watching me
Tourniquet
I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
(so much more)
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
Do you remember me
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side
Or will you forget me
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved
Am I too lost?
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied
Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide
Imaginary
I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
Don't say I'm out of touch
With this rampant chaos - your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light
Taking Over Me
You don't remember me but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do...
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me
Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me
Hello
Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello
I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello
If i smile and don't believe
Soon I know
I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me
I'm not broken
Hello
I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry
Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello
I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday
My Last Breath
Hold on to me love
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree
(come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears
Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
But still you wake and know the truth
No one's there
Say goodnight
Don't be afraid
Calling me calling me as you fade to black
Whisper
Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know
That there's much more to come
Immobilized by my fear
And soon to be
Blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away
If I will it all away
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
Fallen angels at my feet
Whispered voices at my ear
Death before my eyes
Lying next to me I fear
She beckons me
Shall I give in
Upon my end shall I begin
Forsaking all I've fallen for
I rise to meet my end
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
Don't turn away
(Don't give in to the pain)
Don't try to hide
(Though they're screaming your name)
Don't close your eyes
(God knows what lies behind them)
Don't turn out the light
(Never sleep never die)
Servatis a pereculum
Servatis a maleficum
Servatis a pereculum
Servatis a maleficum
Servatis a pereculum
Servatis a maleficum...........
1. Going Under
2. Bring Me to Life
3. Everybody's Fool
4. My Immortal
5. Haunted
6. Tourniquet
7. Imaginary
8. Taking Over Me
9. Hello
10. My Last Breath
11. Whisper
song.... Whenever I heard
it I thought too much about something disturbing... It reminded me greatly of myself... You know how a song can have an intense meaning for you if it reminds you of something personal? Well this song reminded me of me MUCH too much... And as thus it was hard to listen to it. But recently I was home sick, watching DareDevil (one of the worst movies ever, by the way), and as you all know, I'm sure, this song was IN that movie... Hell, the song being in the movie was what made Evanescence so fucking famous! But anyway, NOW whenever I hear this song... I think about Jennifer Garner dying. Yes, her character dies in DareDevil. It's the only good scene in the entire movie. I do not like Jennifer Garner, just in case you failed to pick up on that. And NOW I can honestly say I like every track on Fallen. It is a good fucking album. Ja.
greatness disturb the shit out of me. I mean, I
think---I know this is strange---it describes some part of my life really precisely. There's this part of me that, if I didn't know any better, would think Amy Lee knew all about my life and what I was going through, and she went and wrote a song about it... That, or she went through something similar herself... Or she went through something that made her feel just as I was feeling a few months ago... Actually by now, it's more like about a YEAR ago...
*heavy sigh* I didn't like feeling how I felt then, and whenever I listen to this song, I'm reminded of that feeling. Yet I still love the song. A big part of me is unspeakably glad that feeling it is over... Though to stop feeling it, I had to come to terms with it... And then I ended up losing something very, very good... Granted, something that was making me feel really yucky inside. Questioning and wondering and mourning the loss of something I hadn't yet lost but was so terrified I would. I lost it anyway... so maybe it's all irrelevant now. Or maybe it's more relevant than ever... Who knows?... I sure as shit don't.
