| "On Being Paranoid" | ||
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Paige's Place April 28, 2008 1000 hours She had not slept as long as she wanted, nay, as long as she had hoped for. She lay on her side, her back to Joshua and the window, her face to the door. 'It must be cloudy out' she thought because it was still dark in the room. Something had woken her up, a sound, a scuffle, a breath. Her senses alerted when it moved and she looked into the dim hallway through her bedroom door that was not fully closed. It was not light enough to discern what it was nor was it dim enough to cloak entirely the creature that stood there. It moved stealthily, as it always did, and slipped into the room. She sat up immediately, the heavy arm that had been across her shoulder now fell into her lap. The sudden movement bothered the creature and it raised its lips slightly before sitting down near the foot of the bed. She clenched the sheets in her fists as she stared at it. It stared right back as if It suddenly being there was not outside the realm of normalcy. It was large, with saucer size yellow eyes that revealed an ancient wisdom and mystery. Its paws had to be twice the size of her hands and the huge striped body probably outweighed her by a couple hundred pounds. It even dared a yawn to show off, she assumed, just how big its teeth were. "How did you get out?" she hissed at it, the Bathroom Tiger, the one (of two?) that should have been in her mind and not sitting in her bedroom. "What do you want?" Joshua, woken up by her, sat up suddenly and leaned into her, his weapon ready, steady and sweeping over the area she focused on. Her Bathroom Tiger blinked lazily towards him, not at all intimidated by him or the weapon he held in his hand. She understood suddenly that Joshua could not see him, could not hurt him, and most importantly could not protect her. Now, she thought wildly, now she truly had lost her mind. Joshua stopped moving his gun and transferred it to his other hand. He focused on her grasping her shoulder lightly. "What is it?" She flicked her eyes on him and narrowed them slightly. "There's nothing there...right?" she whispered. He glanced towards the foot of the bed, "nooo..." he said suspiciously. She followed his gaze. The Tiger was still there. She shook her head and shivered knowing she had to protect herself. "Nightmare...I thought something was in here..." He smiled gently, "its ten in the morning, there's nothing here...and you, sweetness," he kissed her forehead, "you need to get more sleep. You've had a very busy couple days...you're exhausted." She nodded her head, "right...exhausted." He pulled her down next to him as she squirmed to her side so she could face the door. He held her close to him and she felt him relax. The Tiger was cleaning his paw patiently though his large yellow eyes remained fixed on her. She could not relax but held still so that Joshua might fall back to sleep and she listened carefully to his breathing as it eventually slowed into a steady softness. The Bathroom Tiger finally rose and slunk towards the door. It turned back to look at her once before it flicked its long tail and exited the room. She knew what it wanted...for her to follow. She lifted Joshua's arm carefully and wriggled out from beneath it. She froze for a moment assessing his breathing. Satisfied he was still asleep she got up and almost fell as her muscles protested. The feeling that something was wrong was very strong, overwhelming almost, and she forced her stiff body to move. She grimaced but managed on a pair of sweats and sweatshirt and left the room closing the door softly behind her. She walked out into the living room warily expecting to still see the Tiger...maybe even taking a snack of Michael the Fish. Bathroom Tigers liked fish, right? Even imaginary ones? She saw nothing, however, and moved towards the balcony doors. She opened the blinds the slightest bit, just enough so that she might see the docks. The Tiger was back in her mind, growling and pacing impatiently. The other one was there as well and reunited, they once again demanded the code. She gave it to them freely with better understanding of the game and the world faded from view again. Some time later... She did not know how long she stood there and did not recognize, at first, his voice calling her, tempting her back to reality. She pushed the code sloppily back into its place much to the anger of the Bathroom Tigers and blinked slowly a couple times as the docks came into focus. He was so close, standing at her side, his head leaned against hers, and his hand stroked her hair. "Please tell me what's wrong," he whispered as he kissed the top of her head. She smiled softly, "nothing wrong." He leaned into her moving her to face him. He ran a finger alongside her cheek as she looked up to him. "I've watched you for a half an hour...just stand here...staring...doing nothing." "I was thinking," she offered quietly. "About what?" She looked at him though offered nothing in way of an answer. What could she really tell him? That there was someone out there stalking her that wanted to kill her? That those cute and fuzzy little coping mechanisms, the Bathroom Tigers, he had read about in her profile were no longer in her mind but visited her now? That one of them liked to roam about her apartment and came into the bedroom just that morning to wake her up? Yeah, that would go over well. "Something outside got you on edge?" he asked. She smiled, unsure, but determined not to let on. Her mind flashed a scene from the day before, when she had assumed he had been the one 'sneaking around'. "No," she shook her head softly, "nothing out there." His hands ran down the length of her arms, "then why are you guarding the doors?" Her smile faded as she looked up to him questioningly. He pulled on her left hand gently, holding what had been in it up for her to see, "and why are you holding this?" She looked at the object, her weapon, the one she kept on the dresser next to her bed hidden from view behind a picture. She hadn't even been aware that she had it. "When did you get up?" he asked dropping the clip out of the gun. She shrugged, "not long ago." "Don't lie to me," he warned with that familiar 'I'm in charge' tone to his voice. "After the nightmare...I couldn't sleep..." she stopped as his agitation clearly worked its way into his face. "You have to get some sleep Paige." He sounded frustrated with her, almost pleading with her to do something she was incapable of controlling anymore. "I know," she answered quietly, "I just...can't." "Uh huh," he said shaking his head. He walked towards his bags and rummaged through one of them as she looked out the doors again unwilling to give up her position. He returned to her holding up a small metal object. A tranquilizer. She narrowed her eyes, "and what do you plan on doing with that?" she asked. He smirked at her, "help you sleep." He moved towards her as she took a step back into the door. He grabbed her, firmly but gently and placed it against her neck. "Effective sleep needs REM cycles..." she attempted an argument. "This won't bother your REM cycles," he said quietly. "Don't Joshua, I'll try to sleep..." He depressed the button, "I have to make sure...I need you to sleep." He guided her into the bedroom and took off her clothes laying her down. He moved on top of her, inside her, pushing her to the edge until she could no longer physically participate. He rubbed her softly then, massaging her, as she dropped almost immediately into a much-wanted sleep induced by the sedative and the activity he had demanded of her... ************** When he was sure she was deeply asleep Joshua smoothed her hair before putting on a pair of gym pants. He was quite tired himself having been able to get only a few hours of sleep because of her, this woman, that he was using, manipulating, and falling for all at the same time. He pulled his fingers through his hair as he grabbed his cell phone and returned to the bedroom. He sat down with a sigh, on the chair near her bed, and began dialing the number he had memorized when his friend and conspirator had come into power weeks ago. "It's me," he said quietly as he stared at Paige sleeping. There was silence on the other end but Joshua knew he was listening. "You have to push the meeting back till later tonight," he said. "Why?" Michael's voice as quiet and calm as usual. "I couldn't give her the addendum." There was silence only for a moment. "What happened?" Joshua rubbed his eyes, "she's exhausted...I just got her to sleep now and had to sedate her...she won't wake up for a few hours..." "She's done this before under more stress," Michael commented, with just an edge of confrontation in his voice Joshua noted. Joshua chose to ignore the dig. "I made the decision. She would have never tolerated it." "You don't know what she's capable of..." "Neither do you totally," Joshua snapped back agitated now. He was at a disadvantage only knowing Paige for a few short weeks, and even at best that was shaky. Michael, however, knew her for many years and might have done better at assessing the situation, but Joshua believed he had made the right decision and did not appreciate having to defend it. In the rank and file Joshua was Michael's boss; when it came to their data...they were mutual partners; but when it came to Paige, well, that was a whole new power struggle. Joshua felt Michael pushed her and expected too much from her and Michael believed just the opposite. The result was a constant defensive position and Joshua hated it. "Regardless, she doesn't have it yet, we move on," Joshua said finally with a tone of warning. "She doesn't realize it but she definitely picked up on the surveillance." "The surveillance," Michael echoed, not surprised at this statement, since he had disagreed with it from the beginning. "We should pull it." "No," Joshua answered quickly. He suspected Paige picked up on something evidenced by the many photographs he had already viewed of her staring out of the sliding glass doors; but when he witnessed she did this weapon in hand, he knew definitely. "I'm not happy with her suspecting she's being watched...but I think it's necessary." What he wanted to say was that he felt better knowing someone was watching her when he couldn't be here, himself, to protect her. "Of course," Michael said flatly. Joshua hated when Michael did that and chose to flex his muscle. "You have four reports, including the Bolivian mission that are late." He didn't often pull rank on Michael but he was tired and getting deeper into a bad mood by the second. "I'll have them sent within the hour," Michael said evenly. "Make sure you do...and you had better come up with a better excuse than 'too many missions and not enough operatives' to explain your numbers being so low this month." Joshua narrowed his eyes mentally daring Michael to respond. He did not. Joshua could actually care less how Michael spent his time, but HIS bosses cared about the numbers, and if his bosses looked too closely, Michael might be in danger of losing his position...and that would be a bad thing for Joshua, for both of them, and for their plans. "Call me as soon as the meeting is changed," Joshua said. "That may take some time," Michael responded. "It's your contact, make it happen," Joshua retorted quietly. "Is that all?" "Yes," Joshua said evenly glancing up at her. "Alright," Michael said and disconnected the call. Joshua stretched and stared at Paige's sleeping form. He was certain giving her the Directory played some part in her current condition and soon he would add to that stress. He was disgusted with himself and what he had to do in the next few hours. He got up to sit next to her and listened to her deep breathing. He could not understand why she fascinated him so much. He was intimidated by her mind, as most were. But what really scared the hell out of him was her potential and what would happen should she ever come to realize it. Then at the same time, just the mention of her name sent his heart rate up, never mind being around her. "I just don't get you," he whispered to her before getting up and heading into the living room. He eyed his laptop briefly wondering if Michael had sent the reports or not, remotely testing his authority again by being late. He decided he didn't care at the moment and he would deal with Michael later. Right now he needed to work off some of the tenseness in his muscles before it drove him back into her bedroom... Return |
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