| "Being in the Game: Player 3, Player 4" | ||
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May 24, 2008 Safehouse 1, Medical 1530 hours "Paige." He said it in a tone that clearly stated ownership. As if no one else could say her name properly, and it demanded her attention like no other could. He was not currently the Joshua who was in here before, that had smiled at her and stroked her cheek lightly with his fingers. Who had expressed his concern, his worry, his caring. That Joshua was gone. Replaced by the one she had learned to loathe, to fear, and to hate - Business Joshua. His ability to morph from one into the other scared her a little, how could someone do that? What scared her even more was her ability to distinguish between the two, as if each personality were separate persons that made up the one. She had visited Baz an hour ago. The docs had forced her to get up, to walk around, spewing out medical terms that described bad things if she didn't. And it wasn't that bad, the head injury, though she still had felt dizzy and nauseous. They were right, the docs, she knew this, they knew she knew this, so she hadn't given them a hard time. The opportunity also allowed her a quick shuffle around medical and a visit with Baz. He had been awake, comfortably numb was how he described it, and she had only a few minutes to talk with him. But he would be ok. She had assured him that she would be ok, too, and that had seemed logical at the time. Perhaps that assessment had been a bit premature on her part. Because now, sitting on the bed with her feet dangling beneath her trying to sort out the jumbled images in her brain, Joshua had come calling. And he had come calling loudly. He strode into the room stalking her with those eyes and stood near her. He held a PDA up in front of her, giving her a moment to realize it was a Section PDA, like the ones she used to use herself when she was there. She looked back up to his eyes, they were blank, cold, endless. He had shut himself down to her and they were back to where they started � he was the boss. She knew, she could feel it in her tightening stomach � he was going to ask something of her and it was going to be big. And just what would she do? Did it really matter what it was? She thought she might have enough resolve to say no, to argue until she was blue in the face. But what then? Walk away? Escape him? The thought almost made her laugh. She couldn't walk away. She couldn't do it then and she wouldn't do it now. Because there was always those other things. Things he knew she wanted and needed, the fire, the passion, the blissful hell and euphoric frenzy that bordered on anarchy of the mind and body. Things he probably wanted and needed, too, yet he used to his advantage anyway because it seemed everything he did was only done if it were to an advantage. He used his sex as a weapon against her...and he wielded it with deadly accuracy. Walk away? It was just too fucking good to walk away from. It was a constant torment, oscillating between liberation and captivity, that sat in the back of her mind and the pit of her stomach until his mere presence brought it to the fore. Just like he did now with that stance and those eyes. It was her hell, a savage landscape that was all fire and burn. And he ruled over his domain with ferocious passion. Joshua was worthy of being a deadly sin. He was her devil, and together they were a match made in the depths of hell and no passionate intensity could rival the jagged brokeness of what they shared. So, it didn't matter what he asked of her. She'd already surrendered her soul to her devil. His heaven was more blissful than God's could ever be. "East central Pennsylvania," he said evenly, powering on the PDA and pressing some of the small buttons. Pictures, she could see the light reflecting back in those blank eyes. He held it up for her to see and she was drawn to it, had to look at it though she didn't want to. "The army has a very small facility located here, mostly used by the National Guard on weekends." She suppressed a shiver as he continued to talk to her. His voice was dark, a hoarse whisper which rasped dangerously and she was mesmerized by it, hypnotized. Her eyes were fixated on the PDA showing various surveillance pictures. "Early today they received a shipment of computers, some hard drives, mostly servers, and are currently storing them in this trailer until arrangements are made to move them." She blinked and tore her eyes away from the PDA. He was standing between her legs, leaning against the bed, right in her face, but she didn't remember ever being aware of him moving. But he could do that. Make every sense you had focus on him yet not notice anything he did. She took a sharp intake of breath and then he smiled a predatory smile that sent chills up her spine. "I want that trailer destroyed," he rumbled, almost growled at her softly. She held his gaze though she felt the fear rising the small hairs on the back of her neck. Please don't ask me to do it. "And I want you to do it," he said as if denying the request that had arisen in her mind. She let out a small sound but was helpless to even move a muscle let alone look away. And she didn't dare look away. She took a deep breath, somewhere, somehow she had to get some control. He was just taking it all, taking everything from her. "I don't...understand," she whispered shaking her head the slightest bit. He narrowed his eyes for only a second before scoffing at her. He took a step back relinquishing the invaded territory of her space. He smiled just a little, and honestly, that was sometimes more scarier than the look he got in his eyes just before he screamed. Still waters ran deepest, she supposed. She maintained her silence, though, not having expected that reaction. He finally moved back in front of her, the small smile now replaced with an amusing 'isn't she cute' grin on his face. He was enjoying this, she thought, he was fucking enjoying this! "Let me dumb it down for you," he said gazing at her. She winced, his comment lashing at her, which earned another satisfied grin from him. "You're going to destroy that computer equipment and you're going to do it tonight." "Christ Joshua, I have a broken wrist, a concussion..." He waved her off, "I don't want to hear it, you're in good enough condition, besides," he leaned into her with that 'wait until you hear what I'm going to say next' grin. She was getting very good at deciphering the many grins Joshua possessed. "That's why you're going to enlist Eric's help." Her mouth dropped open. That look that you know makes you look like a complete idiot? That was the look on her face. And she swore she had never seen Joshua quite so satisfied. If he had ever strove to shock her � he had finally succeeded. "That's right," he said quietly to her, "if he's glutton to take punishment from anyone...it's from you. He deserves it from you, deserves some retribution, some payback for that shit he pulled in Cali...you just have to make him see that...then he'll help." "I'm not going to manipulate..." "He SOLD you out," he snapped at her the rage once again building in the vein across his forehead. "He handed you over to the enemy without even blinking a fucking eye. No matter if he was being manipulated or not you got your ass beaten in," he finally paused for a breath. "Besides," he shrugged, quieting though his tone was still laced with warning, "better you get him to do it willingly...you don't want me to have to make him." She smiled, laughing softly and shaking her head. She was just totally overwhelmed by him and she had to laugh, had to do something, because if she didn't, she feared she would pull the gun out of the waistband of his jeans and simply empty a chamber into her aching head. "I'm not doing that." He nodded his head softly with a smug 'oh yes you are' grin on his face. "You have no right to ask me to do that..." "No right?" he snapped at her and she winced just at the sudden harshness of his voice. "Just how the fuck do you think this works between us?" "Works?" she shook her head. "Listen," he said in that condescending tone again, "I know you've got that little bump on your head and all, and that may be clouding your judgement a bit, so let me remind you of something...you...owe...me." She narrowed her eyes, "destroying federal property for god knows what sick little agenda you've invented in exchange for some sketchy at best intel on a stupid chemical that if it results in anything close to a vaccine or cure would only benefit you anyway? Just how the hell do you justify that?" Her voice rose steadily as she verbally lashed out at him. "That's where your wrong Paige," he said loudly the anger clearly rising in his own voice. "I don't have to justify ANYTHING to you, not one fucking thing...you do," he shook his head moving closer to her, "you do exactly what I tell you to do. Quid pro quo � you owe me for that intel � I fucking WARNED you before you opened that envelope." She stared at him with all the awe and wonderment worthy of some unknown creature. But he wasn't an unknown creature. She knew him. She had known all along. "You're a manipulative, sadistic, son of a bitch," Paige whispered her accusation and Joshua stood accused. Guilty as charged. He smiled at her. "I told you once before that you and I are a lot alike." "I...am nothing like you," she hissed at him. "Really?" he said mockingly. "You better think again, sweetness, because when you look underneath all that blonde hair and that pretty little face into those dark places you don't like to talk about? When you really see you for who you really are...like it or not," he leaned into her, "you...are...exactly...like me. So you better try and you better try real hard to make me happy because you know what happens when I don't get what I want." The snarl, the intensity, the cold intent, everything Paige knew Joshua was but had been able to escape her detection when she had fallen under his spell. There it was, not reappearing, not resurfacing, because it had never really gone away, it had just been ignored. Joshua was viciousness wrapped in an elegant package. But he was still beautiful, so goddamn beautiful. And he would keep doing what he was doing now, but she couldn't even bring herself to care. It didn't matter what it was. It never did. She already committed the crime. This was merely her punishment. "And then we're even?" she breathed out, submitting to defeat, submitting to her devil. He scoffed, "Yeah, sure." "I don't believe you," she said hopping off the bed and standing in front of him. He certainly had not expected that from her and he took a step backwards. He tilted his head to the side, and she swore, she could hear his mind working, weighing out whatever plans he had with his need to use her further. He nodded his head finally, "then we're even." He picked up a large duffel bag and handed it to her. "Call me when it's done." She silently took the bag and the PDA he held out, then walked from the room. That was it then. The fire and the burn were all hers now. All hers. Before this incident, she thought of him like a basic necessity. Like the air she breathed, the water she drank, the sun that shone every day. But there had always been that tiny part of her that thought maybe she could live without it, without him. That maybe she could find a way to say no. And when he had demanded the ultimate sacrifice, to do the one thing she swore she would never do, that tiny part of her had been shattered. She let him take his passion and his fire and burn that tiny part of her into nothingness. She had been given the chance to fight back, to free herself from his bondage, to escape the hold he had on her, and instead of taking it, she had committed to the final surrender. She handed him the rope with which to hang her with. Yeah, Joshua had been a basic necessity. And apparently, he still was. Still goddamn was. Return |
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