| "Only A Memory" | ||
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May 24, 2008 Chopper transport to SH1 0430 hours You did this. I DID NOT! He shot back at the little voice in his head. Oh, yes, you did, you fucked up, you almost got two of them killed. You almost killed HER. I took TWO bullets for them, he screamed back in his mind. They came too fast...too many of them. Whatever, you still did it. He pushed the voice away as the rage built up inside of him. He stopped stroking Paige's neck, feeling instead for her pulse. His heart sank as his fingers validated the truth. She wasn't just shocky anymore, she was full blown in shock. As well as Baz. He glanced down at Baz, then to Saf who was studying him as she pulled the stethoscope out of her ears. "He's crashing." "So is she," he responded looking at his watch, "we're still ten minutes out." He glanced to Eric who sat staring off into space. Joshua shook his head, three injured altogether, not including himself. Safara turned to check on Eric. He knew he should help her but he couldn't leave Paige, couldn't keep his eyes off her face. She was unconscious but he could still see the lines of pain and confusion across her features. After all, he had memorized every inch of her, especially her face, especially when she was asleep and at peace. Success had come at a price. A price each operative, each Agent, knew when the mission was at hand. Each one knew when they went out that it might be their last time. Paige knew that. She had still done good. He had watched when he had finally been able to draw a breath after taking two bullets in his chest, he had finally been able to turn, in time to see Baz go down, then Paige right after him after the bullets ripped into her back. The breath that he had struggled to get back had only been held then. He had frozen and his heart stopped as he watched her plunge, still grasping desperately for a hold on to something, anything that might stop her fall. He had tried to brace himself and cringed reflexively when she hit the concrete floor. Then, she was just still, not moving. Dead, he thought immediately. She had to be, she practically landed on her fucking head! Then he had turned spraying bullets everywhere and at anything that moved, mowing down target after target as they swarmed around him and the rage blinded him. The others had finally come, he had finally been able to move, to stand and walk and function. He had searched for her and finally saw her, and thought he had never been happier in his life to see someone move. Because for a second there, after he watched her fall, when he had thought she was dead, a small part of him died, too. Not because he loved her, but because she was a part of him. He couldn't change that. It was just the way things were. But the joy was quickly replaced seeing her eyes, once so alive and captivating, completely unfocused, confusion etched into what little of her face was exposed through the mask. His pain seemed to double then, seeing her in pain. He knew it could happen, knew it would happen eventually, that she might get hurt, maybe even bad, maybe even dead. But one could never fully prepare for when reality decided to pay a visit and slap you right across the face. No, he could have never prepared himself quite enough. "What?" he growled, whipping his head around to lash out at the voice demanding his attention. Saf's eyes narrowed slightly at him and he read the look very clear: go fuck yourself. Lord knew he had that look directed his way many of time. "What?" he said softer though his voice was still laced with anger. "Landing in two, do you think you could help?" Her comment scraped him, and he deserved that as well. He had no control of this one, Safara. Not yet, he promised himself as he nodded in response, her day would be coming soon enough. She was a whole different animal, one that didn't like to play by the rules, and she was Michael's problem he thought bitterly. Paige and the others were his. But that was a game to be played another day, right now, getting the teams back into the Safehouse was his priority. She, was his priority. You better hope your data is ok. He froze as he hovered over Baz tightening the blood soaked strap that held the combines to Baz's torn up shoulder. He hadn't even considered the data. She's got some precious cargo in that banged up head of hers. Fuck off, he screamed at the voice again, the anger once again building and threatening. Why did everything have to be so fucking complicated? And why had Paige mentioned the sunfalls and watershine? He glanced up to Safara who was busy directing the not so wounded into helping the wounded. If anyone knew anything about Paige it would be that woman. He turned back to Baz, tying his wrists together as a plan formulated in Joshua's head. Forgiveness. He was good at getting that. They always said he had a talent for getting what he wanted, always said he could talk the spots off a leopard. He would have to talk today, to Safara, gain her forgiveness for that look she passed on to him. Saf might be Michael's problem in the bigger scheme of things, but today, she would be his. Because he wanted information...and Joshua always got what he wanted. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SH1 rooftop The wind whipped his hair as he struggled with the medics, or doctors, or whatever the hell they were trying to unload Baz. As soon as Baz was secured and whisked away another team took their place. He could not lift Paige, hell, he could hardly lift his right arm as the adrenaline that had sustained him through the flight back was ebbing quickly. She was moved easily by them, still not awake, and the sight of her irked him. She was so limp...so unalive. The medical team whisked her away, too, and he was left standing on the roof as the choppers lifted off to refuel at nearby Newark, just over the river. He moved slowly into the building and down the small flight of stairs to the ready room. The lift was already moving down to the surgical floor and he was forced to wait with the others. "Joshua," Gray called his attention. He merely looked at the smaller man not quite sure what mood he was in, though he banked on being angry in the next few seconds. "No signs of the Cardinal?" Gray asked. There it was, the familiar anger building up. "You know what Gray?" The older man stiffened at his tone. "I don't give a fuck about the Cardinal right now. I did my job, why don't you do yours and study the damn tapes." Gray nodded clenching his jaw then took a step closer to Joshua. "If you had done your job, I wouldn't have to ask and they," he gestured to the lift, "would not be filled with holes." Joshua glared at him but said nothing. There was really nothing to say. Gray took a step back his eyes still fixed on Joshua's. "It was your organization that prompted this mission..." "And it was your organization that couldn't drop off a few agents on a fucking roof," he hissed back at Gray. "That's a matter of perspective..." "Is it?" he rumbled. "Because your perspective was sitting in a goddamn chopper all cozy and warm while the rest of us played target practice for Red Cell." The lift arrived and the Agents moved quickly to get into it and away from the two feuding men. Gray turned quickly to them, "no one leaves until a full debrief is conducted." The Agents stopped and looked wearily at him before entering the lift and Gray turned back to Joshua. "I'm not going to argue tactical ideology with you...right now. I suggest you take a moment or two and compose yourself." With that he whirled and stalked away to the lift. Joshua took a deep breath and resisted the urge to go after Gray and flatten him with one fist to the head. He instead stood still and stared at the closed door of the elevator. His mind absently moved over tactical plugging in details that had already been utilized, working scenarios. It was useless. Who were they to predict what the weather would have done? Why didn't he call the air team in sooner? His cell phone vibrated in his jacket and he took it out. "What?" he growled into the phone. "It's me." The soft voice of his conspirator said. He closed his eyes taking another deep breath trying to refocus on yet another objective. "What's up?" he said softer and looked around to make sure he was alone. He instinctively moved towards the stairs to the outside as to not lose the signal. "Birkoff confirmed the hardware is being moved." Michael said. "Where to?" "They're moving it north but we don't have a final location." "Alright, call me when you get one, we'll figure out what to do from there." "How did the mission go?" "To hell. Three injured, no Cardinal." There was a pause on the other end. "Did you retrieve the data from the Warehouse?" "I haven't checked yet but I'm sure Jordan got it." "Good. I'll call you when we have a location." "Right," Joshua said and disconnected the line. He walked back to the lift his booted feet making small shuffling sounds in the silence of the holding area. He pressed the call button to the lift and started removing the half empty clip from his weapon. His chest was very stiff and removing the rest of the weapons on his person took some effort, grimacing and muttered curses. Finally the lift arrived and he took it right to the surgical floor. It took him a moment to get his bearings before entering the reception area. A petite brunette in scrubs eyed him carefully with an arched eyebrow. He merely glared at her and dropped his weapons silently on the high countered desk area next to him. "You shouldn't be here," she said to him after a brief glance at all the weapons. "Is that so?" he rumbled at her softly. He unzipped his jacket and pulled it off along with the shredded kevlar vest. He lifted his tank top showing her the two dark bruises on his chest. "I think I might need some xrays." She nodded, her face softening into sympathy, "come with me." He followed her into the trauma rooms. It was large and glaringly white. He glanced up sweeping his gaze noting the position of the cameras hidden beneath half globes of darkened glass that hung from the ceiling. Eric and Paige were both there surrounded by teams of personnel and Joshua was led to a bed across from them. The petite brunette was replaced by an older man who nodded at Joshua, "Lovell?" Joshua nodded sitting wearily on the bed. "Dr. Bodnar, what happened?" "I took two off the chest," he said quietly. "Having any difficulty breathing?" Joshua nodded, "and moving." "Alright, we'll get you checked out," the man smiled briefly. Joshua let them work without protest through their assessment as three more personnel joined him. It was a rapid assessment and Joshua was actually surprised at the quickness and efficiency of the medical team. It easily rivaled any Section medical team in fundamentals, but exceeded Section in their professionalism and caring. Perhaps because they didn't have their lives hanging over them? At least irony had its humorous side. "Nothing's broken," Bodnar said, showing Joshua the xrays of his chest. "Lucky you have a lot of muscle tissue or it might have been a different story. Just take it easy and don't lift for a couple days, you should be fine." "Thanks doc," Joshua said pulling on another black tshirt someone had brought in for him. "How are the others?" "I didn't work them up but Glenn's in surgery, Schweig and Casey were moved into rooms." "Can I see her?" Bodnar shook his head, "I don't think so. She's not stabilized..." "Yeah, ok," Joshua cut him off. "Thanks again," he said getting up. "Just take it easy," Bodnar replied. Joshua nodded and made his way out to the lift. A quick shower and change and he would come back. Stable or not stable, he would see Paige. Return |
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