When I see a tall woman, I follow her around...
As far as I can remember, I've always been attracted to taller women.
I began to realise it when I was eleven years old, at this moment
I was in the sixth grade elementary school and there was that five
grader girl that was taller than everybody around. When I was looking
at her I needed to stare, I'd watch her tower over the other students,
talking to teachers and being as tall or taller but I couldn't stand
near her, I was too shy and being near her used to make me nervous,
I was afraid that she would know that I wanted to compare heights
and at this point I didn't know what the excitment was about.
One day I was in the school yard with the tallest boy in 6th grade
and he was talking about his height, that he was taller than
anybody, I told him �I bet I know a girl who's taller than you are
and she's only ten years old� He knew who I was talking about for he
has seen her but he said: �I'm taller than that girl, you'll see�
He went straight where the 5 graders hung out and then right in
front of her, we followed but I was far more interested to see this,
as he was talking to her (too far for me to hear) we could allready
see that she was much taller, this guy was 5'8, so after a while
they turned around and stood back to back, she was taller by about
4 inches, the guys were laughing but not me, I wanted to be with
that girl, he came back to us and said: �God, she's taller than me�
He told us she said she was 5'11! 5'11 in the fifth grade!
I was 4'5 and not even the shortest boy.
From this day I was conscient of my attraction. Later that same year,
I remember that I was asking to my teacher to go to the bathroom,
but I would go to the lobby and sneak into the tallest girls
lockers (they were unlocked lockers :) I put on their much bigger
shoes, coat etc. That gave me a great sensation which I related
to a sexual one a year later.
When I think about this, it's pretty strange and abnormal.
Oh! and by the way, I don't put bigger shoes on my feet anymore
and I don't sneak in lockers room either but I still like to
pass by taller girls and compare heights. As the years went by,
I began to be a shame of this, I'd hide, I wanted no one to know
I had this need, this desire, in high school I went out with a
lot of girls, all small, but I was looking at the taller ones.
I'd tape anything that was passing on TV with tall girls,
I'd keep every articles or picture in the newspaper or magazine,
but still I was ashamed, I thought I was deviant and the only one
in the world with that damn desire, so one day, like someone who
decided that he don't smoke anymore, I've thrown all this away,
I've erased all my tapes, put all my pics in the trash and
decided to live a normal life. It didn't last.
I went to a bigger town for college when I was 18 and saw there,
girls that were taller than anyone I'd seen, I remember
having in my class a 6'4 girl (tallest I had seen then) and
the teacher was a small man of 5' tall, the comparison of the
two excited me most. The different thing at this point is that
I went to the taller girls and talked to them, I was studying
photography, so I did photos with them, told them how I love
their heights etc. But beleive me it was still a secret, nobody
would know about this desire...until university, when I got
myself a computer 4 years ago, without really hopes I made a
research about tall women and that is when I discovered that I
wasn't alone in the world with this need, this pulsion, this
attraction. It was a revelation, it really changed my life.
Now I start to talk about it to close friends but over the year
it became more of an obsession than a fetich. I needed to calm
down.
As to explain this deviance, I really can't. But it's obvious
that it is one. It never stopped me from having relations with
other women, but maybe it's the reason why it never lasts,
I have this need always coming back, I wanna find a girl taller
than me to be happy in life. In university, I studied a bit of
psychology and I learned about the fetishes and deviance.
I read some writting of Sigmund Freud about this subject too,
trying to understand what was going on. But after a while you
stop asking yourself questions, I guess the pedophile just got
that kind of desire about young girls, I don't know, if it is
it's still don't excuse those who abuse, there's a difference
between fantasize and reality.
By the way; the tallest girl in the 5 grade turned out to stop
growing at 6'1, she lived near my house and her little tall
sister was a friend of my sister so I got to know them a bit
( yes, they were all tall in that family).
I even spent time one summer with her when I was 14
(she was 13 and 6'1, I was 5'1). I stopped growing at 5'7.
Last year I went out with the first girl taller than me at 5'9
(she loved to wear heels) but it didn't work out, so we split
after a month. Maybe I've filled out a bit of my fantasy but
I realise that it's not only the height, but the personnality also.
Which makes it even harder to find :)
any comments?
