I realize that she did what she thought was best for me. She didn�t abandon me because she disliked me, or didn�t love me. She left because she did love me. She left because she wanted only the best for me. She was never given the skills needed to be a parent and thought I would be better off with someone who had the proper skills. Her lack of skills came from never having lived in a loving home. She was never shown love or affection. She can not be blamed for the actions, or in her case the non actions, of others.
Another preconceived idea that people had about my mother was in regards to her disability. When a stranger would encounter her, all they would see was her wheelchair. They would have no way of knowing that her wheelchair didn�t slow her down. If I were to be honest, I had the same thoughts myself. I hesitated on having her at my wedding due to the fear, that it would make more work for me. I envisioned having to help her do everything. Boy was I wrong!
Yes, she was partially paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Yes, she occasionally needed help. Yet, for the most part, she did everything on her own. She had her own truck with hand controls. She would wheel up to the passenger side door, open it and transfer herself from her chair into the truck. Then she would fold her wheelchair and pull it in after her, scooting over to the driver�s seat, and then off she would go. When she would get to her destination, she would just reverse her steps.
She was independently mobile in her own home, despite the fact that it was a two story house. She only used her wheelchair while she was downstairs. While upstairs, she pulled herself along on a set of crutches. She would leave one crutch at the top of the stairs and the other at the bottom. When she needed to go upstairs, she would park her wheelchair by the door, grab the one crutch and with the help of the rail, pull herself up the stairs, using the second crutch once she was at the top. In some ways she was more self-sufficient than I was.
The preconceived idea that I had that bothers me the most is in regard to her sexual orientation. I found out that she was a lesbian when I was eight years old. At first I thought it was just another lie of my step mothers to torture me, then I found out it was true. I was scared too death that my friends would find out and tease me. I was scared they would think, �like mother like daughter�, or maybe that is just what I feared. I was extremely ashamed of my mother and disgusted by her choice. At times I even thought, �How could you do this to me?� I still don�t understand her choice, but I do know that it didn�t make her bad, it was just �who� she was.
I have always heard that you shouldn�t judge a book by its cover. Obviously that doesn�t mean that I have always followed the concept. I got a second chance with my mother, but wonder just how many opportunities I have missed out on, by not looking past �the cover�.
When I was little, I always thought that my mother was a horrible, terrible person. I thought that she did not love me, that she didn�t care. What else could I think? She had abandoned me when I needed her the most. I still don�t condone what she did, but at least now I understand.
I realize that she did what she thought was best for me. She didn�t abandon me because she disliked me, or didn�t love me. She left because she did love me. She left because she wanted only the best for me. She was never given the skills needed to be a parent and thought I would be better off with someone who had the proper skills. Her lack of skills came from never having lived in a loving home. She was never shown love or affection. She can not be blamed for the actions, or in her case the non actions, of others.
Another preconceived idea that people had about my mother was in regards to her disability. When a stranger would encounter her, all they would see was her wheelchair. They would have no way of knowing that her wheelchair didn�t slow her down. If I were to be honest, I had the same thoughts myself. I hesitated on having her at my wedding due to the fear, that it would make more work for me. I envisioned having to help her do everything. Boy was I wrong!
Yes, she was partially paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Yes, she occasionally needed help. Yet, for the most part, she did everything on her own. She had her own truck with hand controls. She would wheel up to the passenger side door, open it and transfer herself from her chair into the truck. Then she would fold her wheelchair and pull it in after her, scooting over to the driver�s seat, and then off she would go. When she would get to her destination, she would just reverse her steps.
She was independently mobile in her own home, despite the fact that it was a two story house. She only used her wheelchair while she was downstairs. While upstairs, she pulled herself along on a set of crutches. She would leave one crutch at the top of the stairs and the other at the bottom. When she needed to go upstairs, she would park her wheelchair by the door, grab the one crutch and with the help of the rail, pull herself up the stairs, using the second crutch once she was at the top. In some ways she was more self-sufficient than I was.
The preconceived idea that I had that bothers me the most is in regard to her sexual orientation. I found out that she was a lesbian when I was eight years old. At first I thought it was just another lie of my step mothers to torture me, then I found out it was true. I was scared too death that my friends would find out and tease me. I was scared they would think, �like mother like daughter�, or maybe that is just what I feared. I was extremely ashamed of my mother and disgusted by her choice. At times I even thought, �How could you do this to me?� I still don�t understand her choice, but I do know that it didn�t make her bad, it was just �who� she was.
I have always heard that you shouldn�t judge a book by its cover. Obviously that doesn�t mean that I have always followed the concept. I got a second chance with my mother, but wonder just how many opportunities I have missed out on, by not looking past �the cover�.
When I was little, I always thought that my mother was a horrible, terrible person. I thought that she did not love me, that she didn�t care. What else could I think? She had abandoned me when I needed her the most. I still don�t condone what she did, but at least now I understand.
I realize that she did what she thought was best for me. She didn�t abandon me because she disliked me, or didn�t love me. She left because she did love me. She left because she wanted only the best for me. She was never given the skills needed to be a parent and thought I would be better off with someone who had the proper skills. Her lack of skills came from never having lived in a loving home. She was never shown love or affection. She can not be blamed for the actions, or in her case the non actions, of others.
Another preconceived idea that people had about my mother was in regards to her disability. When a stranger would encounter her, all they would see was her wheelchair. They would have no way of knowing that her wheelchair didn�t slow her down. If I were to be honest, I had the same thoughts myself. I hesitated on having her at my wedding due to the fear, that it would make more work for me. I envisioned having to help her do everything. Boy was I wrong!
Yes, she was partially paralyzed and in a wheelchair. Yes, she occasionally needed help. Yet, for the most part, she did everything on her own. She had her own truck with hand controls. She would wheel up to the passenger side door, open it and transfer herself from her chair into the truck. Then she would fold her wheelchair and pull it in after her, scooting over to the driver�s seat, and then off she would go. When she would get to her destination, she would just reverse her steps.
She was independently mobile in her own home, despite the fact that it was a two story house. She only used her wheelchair while she was downstairs. While upstairs, she pulled herself along on a set of crutches. She would leave one crutch at the top of the stairs and the other at the bottom. When she needed to go upstairs, she would park her wheelchair by the door, grab the one crutch and with the help of the rail, pull herself up the stairs, using the second crutch once she was at the top. In some ways she was more self-sufficient than I was.
The preconceived idea that I had that bothers me the most is in regard to her sexual orientation. I found out that she was a lesbian when I was eight years old. At first I thought it was just another lie of my step mothers to torture me, then I found out it was true. I was scared too death that my friends would find out and tease me. I was scared they would think, �like mother like daughter�, or maybe that is just what I feared. I was extremely ashamed of my mother and disgusted by her choice. At times I even thought, �How could you do this to me?� I still don�t understand her choice, but I do know that it didn�t make her bad, it was just �who� she was.
I have always heard that you shouldn�t judge a book by its cover. Obviously that doesn�t mean that I have always followed the concept. I got a second chance with my mother, but wonder just how many opportunities I have missed out on, by not looking past �the cover�.
