There is a saying that says, �If you love something set it free, if it comes back it is yours. If it doesn�t it never was�. I never really believed that to be true. I just thought it was something someone made up to ease a broken heart. That is, I didn�t believe it until it happened to me.
It was 1992 when I met Wade. By that time, I had already been married and divorced and was a single mother of a six month old. The last thing on my mind was starting a relationship. I was living with my friend Lisa and her husband in California, trying to put my life back together after an abusive relationship that followed my failed marriage.
When I first met Wade, I wanted NOTHING to do with him. In fact, I thought that he was the biggest geek that I had ever met. In my opinion the only thing he had going for him was the fact that he was six feet tall. Yet, his body type did not match his height. He was extremely skinny! Next to him I felt like a beached whale.
I had been babysitting at my friend April�s house, when she decided to bring home half the bar with her to party some more. Wade was one of the many that showed up. He was on the quiet side and actually seemed a little on the depressed side.
He was all alone in the kitchen, so I approached him and asked,�Are you ok?�
He unconvincingly said, �Yes�.
I said, �Are you sure? It looks like you are upset over something. I am a really good listener if you would like to talk.�
�No, that is ok. I am fine. Thanks�.
I didn�t want to push, especially since I didn�t really know him. Yet, for reasons unknown to me, I gave him a hug and said, �Are you sure?�
He replied, �Everything is fine now�, as he hugged me tight.
I thought, �Oh No, I hope that he isn�t taking this the wrong way.�
Everyone ended up spending the night at April�s. The next morning before he left, he gave me another hug and a kiss that lasted a little too long to be just a friendly peck. I tried not to make too much of it, thinking that I probably would never see him again. Boy was I wrong!
It turned out that he was stationed with Lisa�s husband. When he found out that I lived with them, he hitched a ride to our apartment. The next thing I knew, he was coming over every single day. Initially I told him that I wasn�t interested in anything beyond friendship. I guess he grew on me, because one month later we had our own apartment together. Five months after that, we were married.
I thought that we were going to live happily ever after. Things were going well until we got blind sided. Less than a month after our son was born he was sent to Japan for a year with the Marine Corps. He sent me to live with his mother in Ohio, even though she didn�t care for me at all. I felt like a prisoner in her home, until I got a job bartending. My job became my escape as well as the demise of my marriage. Wade and I were divorced in 1994.
Wade got custody of our son and I got custody of my daughter. I tried to make a life for my daughter and me in Ohio, but things were not working out. When the opportunity arose to move to Minnesota in January 1995, I jumped on it.
I found out the hard way that Minnesota was not the place for us either. For over four years, it seemed that there was just one tragedy after another. I had to deal with the deaths of my parents alone, as well as a cancer scare myself. There were abusive relationships, evictions, repossessions, and numerous financial problems. The final straw was losing everything we owned in a fire.
During those four and a half years, I spoke to Wade often. I made the trip back to Ohio several times to pick up my son for my visitation. During those trips, I would often stay with Wade. By the time I lost everything in the fire, he and I were actually closer than we had been during our marriage. He told me that it was time that we moved back to Ohio and I agreed.
In August 1999, we moved back. Things were a little strange at first, living with him again and not being married. Yet, in time we realized that we still loved each other and that we were meant to be together.
So, as you can see, the saying is true. I set him free and he did eventually come back to me, just not as soon as I would have liked. Of course, I always knew that I loved him and that he was the one for me. It just took him four and a half years to realize (or admit) that I was right.
