Sandcastles
You wanna know a secret? Sometimes the happiest person is already dead inside. You exist and someday you won't, isn't life grand?
What am I doing here?
He's in there somewhere, fucking the princess. Kissing her face. Smelling her hair.
He was smelling my hair a couple of years ago.
Have you ever heard of the parable of the man who built his house on sand? Never build your hopes on something as inconsistent as sand.
Or as inconsistent as a boy's love.
I heard they were getting married. It was all over the news. And I'm crying. Don’t even know why. The boy never really told me he loved me. So why was I crying?
I guess she does get everything that she wanted. I can’t give him that mansion, I can't give him that fame, I can’t give him those blue eyes and blonde hair. But I would've given him my soul if he asked for it.
Does he still look at you with those lost eyes? Does he still smell of gunpowder and soap? Does his skin still feel like steel underneath?
Does he still close his eyes when he orgasms? Does he still hit you when push a little too far? Does he still want you to scream as he fucks you?
Does he still like flapjacks? Does he still put cream in his tea? Does he still stay up and watch you sleep?
What am I doing here?
I thought I could move on, leave it all behind me. Find someone else who would love me back. But I can't.
You are an idiot Duo Maxwell.
He's up there somewhere, with someone else in his arms. And I am here, the gun feels cold against my palm. If it was nothing to you, it was the only thing significant in my life for me.
Does he still hold your hand beneath the covers?
This is the closest that I will ever get to you again isn’t it? You up there in your palace by the sea and me in my sandcastle, waiting for the tide that will wash me away.
~end~
notes: I wanted to write a counter part of the boy at my side for Duo and this is what popped out…it turned out sucky and maybe I'll turn it into a longer fanfic someday but I like the idea of sandcastles and hopes being washed away with the tide.
And to think the idea came from the neon seashells in my curtains!
I think that if ever Duo and Heero did get together it would end this way, Heero leaving Duo-bear for that bitch. Using the boy for sex and leaving him and the poor boy would be heartbroken. If I were Duo I would kill them both first…or at least try.