Characters are not mine, appreciate comments though.

A Last Apology

He opens his eyes and looks at her sleeping form. Her intoxicating smell enfolds him in a haze his senses can’t seem to penetrate. In his head her voice echoes in an infinite melody. Her fair skin seems ivory in the moonlight. And her hair, oh how he longed to be lost in it's dark oblivion. Never in his whole existence has he ever seen something as beautiful.

In the short time that she has spent with him, never had he felt such joy. And although his life forbade him to testify this one truth, he admitted in his heart that she was his one true happiness. She had given him something to live for. And because of her, he had chosen to live.

He stares at her relishing this moment when not even his will could dictate that he go against his own heart. He memorizes every breath she took, every syllable she murmured, for tomorrow when the world awakens the wall separating them would once again be rebuilt.

And as he sat there, drowning himself in her. He makes a promise to her that would not hear, that he would love her forever. And he smiles at least he got to say it, even if only to himself. He looks out into the still gray evening at waits for the dawn that would always come.

She shifts her position, throwing her arm over his chest. He opens his eyes and smiles placing it back on her side. He wasn't sleeping anyway. He gets up and slipps from his futon carefully lest the little one beside him should waken. He walks silently across the river of dreams his four children wove around them and steps out into the apathetic garden. He looks up at the moon and offers a prayer. In two months his fifth child would be born and he thanked all of his gods that he would still be able to see its face.

His eldest son reached his tenth year that day and all he could do was smile. Smile for the life he now led and for the world he now lived in. He gazes at the reflection the water mirrors and saw the once deep scar fade almost to nothingness. He reaches up to feel it against his palm, needing to confirm himself of its presence.

Would time deprive me of this one last relic of a life I could not lead? Would the world take all of you from me?

He closes his eyes. Knowing that no matter how much time had passed between them, he could still smell the scent of the winter morning that he lost her. No matter how many moons had risen and fallen, he could still see her face bathed in moonlight. No matter how many dawns had broken on the horizon he could still feel her breath on his cheek.

She had given him a reason to live, but it was not enough. Not then, not now, not ever. This was his truth, and this was his ruin.

He had made a promise once.

He enters his room once more, kneeling beside his wife. He takes her in his arms, thankful that she had not woken. And as he let his tears cascade on to her innocent dreams, he mutters an apology that could never end.

end

ok why is Kenshin crying?that little gurly man!!!well he's apologizing to Kaoru coz he only loves Tomoe, so it's like he thought he could love her but he only loves one person