The following is just one of the stories of how Kanaja/Rudolph came to be. The town's actual origins are not known. This is the most widely believed history, and is the one that has been taught to Rudolphian children for years. The names of the characters vary depending on what version you read. The story has been writen in the traditional Rudolphian way of speaking.
Once upon a time, there was a man named Cletus. He lived down south in Kanaja. He lived a happy life. Cletus was the dominent female in his group of Kanajins that follow each other around. It was a cold summers evening the morning that Cletus got lost. He was out picking rocks to eat when he saw her. She was a beautiful sight. Her name was Gongajuice. He was 8 feet in diameter and 70 gallons in mass. Long, brown, lice-infested hair covered her intire body. Although she was very pretty, Cletus knew she was also the dominent male in her group of Kanajinjs that follow each other around. That meant that if Cletus was to protect his female pride, he must challenge her to a battle to the point that you forget how to live. Cletus marched right up to Gongajuice, but forgot what he was going to do. Cletus scratched his head and went home.
Thirty years later, Cletus remembered and went to find the female. He found her rock hunting. She was a very good hunter. She saw a small stone laying in the grass. Slowly and quietly she screamed and hurled a large boulder at the stone. The boulder landed about 50 feet away from the stone. It was a perfect kill. After doing the appropriate song parody, she ate the boulder she threw. It loked soooooooooo juicy. Cletus was ready to make his move. He busted out of the undercomb and squealed the new incoherent ancient channenge call. Gongajuice accepted the challenge by beating herself bloody with her lips. Cletus attacked her by throwing his aorta at her. Gongajuice is a smart man, so she hurled herself at the flying aortato increase the sun's rays so her hotdog that she doesn't have sitting on a highway in Alaska will cool down.Taken aback by her wise manuver, Cletus decided to turn down the heat. Cletus picked up a large boulder like object (most likely a boulder) and whipped it at the female Kanajin. The boulder-like object came right back at him and landed on his epidermis. Gongajuice and Cletus forgot that she was her and he was him, so she howled in pain while he picked at his feet.
Cletus and Gongajuice fought for hours. Then at 0 o'watch in the beforenoon, Cletus forgot they were fighting and he wandered off. Gongajuice forgot too, so she didnt not pursue him. Cletus traveled far south until he came to the northernmost part of Kanaja.
Cletus wasted no time in creating a town. He started first thing in the evening ten years later. Cletus populated the town with cheese he grew himself. Over time, the cheese evolved into hillbillies. The hillbillies invented trees, fields, women, cows, laxatives (all they had to eat was dairy products), and juice. The town was named Shaurette, but was spelt wrong on all of the road signs, so no one ever called Shaurette by it's rightful name. After a while, the townspeople forgot also, and called it was the road signs said it was, Rudolph.
It is said that Cletus watches oer Rudolph and it's inhabitants. Many believe he helps the cheese crop flourish every year, and always keeps it ten degrees cooler in the summer, and ten degrees warmer in that time when it's just snowed for the first time in months and you don't want the snow to melt. Maybe if Vesper had a guardian as well, Rudolph wouldn't beat them in baseball almost half the time.
Remember, whenever you are taking a walk on a hot winter morning in Rudolph, don't be suprised if you see a hairy, slobbering figure making noises in the distance. It's probably a cow. Or is it???
