By Shulamith Smith and lambs_one
"Is BDSM growing? And is this growth related to the feminist movement?"
I don't think BDSM is "growing" but that it seems as if it is for a variety of factors, the least of which is awareness. BDSM is coming out of the closet so to speak. It seems like there are more people than ever involved in the lifestyle but the population as a whole is also growing. As a percentage of the population, no, BDSM is probably not growing. We're more aware of the lifestyle today largely because the internet allows people to exchange information quickly and anonymously. BDSM-ers have nearly always been regarded with a combination of facination and repulsion (think the Marque de Sade - locked up in a "mental hospital" while his books could not be printed quickly enough) that's taught us to be very very careful about who we share our interests with. Magazines can be found by snooping eyes, phone conversations can be overheard but someone who is familiar with computers can hide any evidence of searching for this stuff pretty easily.
The other reason BDSM seems to be growing is that a lot of people, mostly men, are what a lady on another bdsm board calls "trolls," guys who say they're Doms or claim to be involved in the lifestyle but are really around just for the sex. Technically, yes, they are part of the bdsm community though these guys don't really identify with the lifestyle. They just want the results of the lifestyle.
I am going to go out on a limb and say that part of the renewed interest in BDSM IS a reaction to the feminist movement. I don't think that's all there is to it, I just think it's one piece of the puzzle. For the past forty years or so, men have been taught women are equal in all respects (well, we are <GRIN>), that the physical differences should not be noticed at all, that acknowledging a woman's feminine qualities is an insult of the sort that a century ago would have had men dueling to the death. The result is men who are utterly afraid to be a dynamic force in a relationship. I've specifically run into this problem. It is at its worst among young Christian men because they hear the feminist message in their schools and homes AND they hear that they're supposed to be physically completely hands off with a woman until safely married, a la "I Kissed Dating Good Bye". Christian men of my generation (who are currently 20-30 y/o) are so ineffective at relationships I refused to date them at all for several years! But I digress.
Confident people generally prefer to be around confident people. Therefore, strong powerful women prefer to be around strong powerful men. Right? Yes. Except that most of the men available to them have been taught that they CAN'T take charge of a woman. That she doesn't want it, doesn't like it, it's politically incorrect (horrors!), and worst of all, that taking charge says that she is inferior. There's a HUGE difference between submissive and inferior (or dominate and superior for that matter). And that's where BDSM enters the picture. BDSM gives men, and some women, the opportunity to be mentally and/or physically dominate over someone who wants to be dominated in that fashion.
At one point when I was trying to justify submission to myself, I looked at all this stuff and said, you know, BDSM and Dominate/submissive play in particular puts the ancient (Biblical)ideal of marriage into a contemporary, non-religious context that a modern woman can be comfortable with. BDSM allows a woman to to be powerful in the workplace, to be strong, confident, out-spoken AND still be submissive at home with her husband, whether that's just in the bedroom or in all areas of their private life.
"BDSM is coming out of the closet so to speak."
I am seeing it portrayed more and more in TV programs, but still in a bad light sadly. Just last week I saw a movie with John Travolta in it as a military investigator. The general (I think that was the rank) had a daughter that was into S&M. She was found strangled, nude, tied to the ground in a spread eagle fashion, in a certain place on the base where her father was told to go while she was still alive. She was trying to confront him with her previous rape incident some years before, which he was un-willing to acknowledge. It turns out that a military co-worker, who had a thing for her, knew he couldn't have her ever, strangled her, and this had really nothing to do with S&M but the "images" of it were there. They showed parts of videos found in a secret room in her house, as her being a dominatrix of sorts, prior to showing the flashback of the scene with her father while she was tied. So S&M got a bad wrap in that movie just by association.
I've also seen police stories, like nypd blue, and the one that pieces together murders through forensics, portray bdsm/s&m in a bad light .... of course they are coming in to investigate murder, but it still has no images of a positive nature to offset the only negative association of the fact that you'll be murdered if you get involved in these activities.
Buffy has some positive images, but just barely, since she associates with vampires, witches, demons, and the like anyway.
So no matter what, the media itself is bringing it more to light, however, it's a bad light and that's really unfortunate.
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