By Shannon
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters and I have no connection to Galen Gering, McKenzie Westmore, JER, or any of the other people directly associated with the wonderful show we call Passions. Feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks, Shannan.
Chapter One
Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald walked slowly along the wharf, staring mindlessly into the water. His mind was a jumble of half thoughts and partial memories. And they all pertained to the same woman. Sheridan Crane. His thoughts jumped back and forth among memories. He remembered the elation he felt when they decided to put there past behind them. He remembered the feel of her in his arms. He remembered walking into her cottage and finding her bullet-ridden body on the floor and how unfair it all seemed. She was so beautiful and so gentle and so very lost to him.
His memories of her were strong. So strong, in fact, that he could swear he smelled her perfume. He heard footsteps and turned toward them. Someone was walking toward him through the fog that blew off the sea. The fog blocked their face but Luis could tell by their shape and walk that it was a woman. She wore a long, white cloak with a large hood. But something about her mesmerized him, and Luis couldn’t look away. As she stepped out of the fog and shadows her blue eyes pierced his soul and her smile lifted the clouds from his brain.
“Sheridan,” he whispered, his heart dropping out of his chest. Sheridan smiled serenely, and reached out to touch his face. “Oh God, Sheridan. You’re dead.”
She shook her head. “No. I’m right here. With you. Forever.”
Luis pulled her to him, tears rolling down his face. “I missed you so much, Sheridan. I was lost without you.”
He pulled back to look at the woman he loved again. But something was wrong. Sheridan wasn’t smiling anymore. Suddenly her eyes were full of terror. A small, scarlet spot appeared on her chest, staining the white material as it grew bigger.
“Luis,” Sheridan choked. “Luis help me, please.”
Luis jolted up in bed, Sheridan’s screams still echoing in his head. He was bathed in sweat and his sheets were a tangled mess at his feet. He searched frantically around his room for Sheridan before realizing she wasn’t there. She wouldn’t ever be there. Sheridan was dead and today she would be buried.
Chapter Two
Luis stepped out into the kitchen, straightening his tie as he went. His mother and sister were already at the table. Both dressed in black, both picking at their breakfast. They looked up at him expectantly, with the same sympathetic looks everyone had been giving him for days. He turned his head away to avoid the looks. Instead he walked to the fridge and reached in for the orange juice, willing his hand to stop shaking. As he poured himself a glass Miguel walked in, patting him on the back on his way to the table. Startled, Luis dropped the juice, pulling the partially filled glass onto his shirt and sending the bottle shattering all over the floor. Pilar and Theresa jumped up simultaneously and ran for paper toweling as Miguel apologized profusely.
“Luis, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to knock it out of your hands.”
“Forget about it. It’s not your fault. I can’t hold anything straight anymore,” he said, his voice shaking. He tried to give his family a weak smile. “Mama, Theresa, don’t worry about it, I got it.” Luis tried to grab the towel from Pilar’s hands as Theresa bent over to pick up the glass.
“No, no, Luis. Just sit down. We have it,” Theresa said nervously as she reached for a large shard but pulled back as the glass cut her hand. “Ow!”
“Damnit, Theresa, I said I’d take care of it,” Luis yelled. “Now look what happened.”
His sister looked stricken as she ran her hand under the faucet to wash the blood away and Luis was immediately sorry he had yelled at her.
“God, I’m sorry, sis,” Luis said, running his hand through his hair. “I’ve just been a wreck. I didn’t mean to bite your head off. It’s just, why doesn’t anyone ever listen to me when I tell them to do something?” The pain in Luis’s eyes told his family he wasn’t talking about the cut on Theresa’s hand anymore.
“I’m sorry, Luis, it’s just I…I..” Theresa stuttered, trying to think of something to say to her brother to ease the ache in his heart.
“No, don’t worry about it,” Luis muttered, wrapping his arms briefly around his little sister.
“Mijo, you have orange juice all over your shirt. Go change and we’ll clean this up,” Pilar’s voice was soft but commanding and Luis didn’t have the energy to argue with her.
He wandered back into his room, closing the door behind him. He pulled another white shirt from his closet and proceeded to change. The small activity felt like it had zapped any remaining energy out of him and he sat down on his bed. He stared at his hands, seeing for the thousandth time Sheridan’s blood on them after he had held her. He could almost hear her voice in his head, telling him to get a grip on himself.
“When did you turn into such a wimp,” he imagined her asking.
“I’m not a wimp, I just can’t function straight, is all.”
“You were perfectly competent of living life for the many years before you met me.”
“Yeah, but it’s different now. I met you and I lost you.”
“You didn’t lose me, I’m still right here. In your heart. And in your mind.”
“It’s not the same.” Luis realized three things simultaneously. One, he had said this last thing out loud. Two, tears were streaming down his face. And three, he was having a conversation with a dead woman in his mind. He wondered if this made him crazy.
He didn’t have much time to contemplate this last thought because a light knock shook him from his reverie.
“Luis,” Pilar opened the door and smiled gently at him. “It’s time to go.”
Luis nodded and stood up, pulling his jacket on. His heart had dropped painfully to his stomach and he felt sick. Seeing Sheridan layed out in a coffin was the very last thing he wanted to see today, but nothing was going to keep him from saying one last good-bye.
Chapter Three
The church was packed, but Luis would have expected no less of a turn out for his beloved Sheridan. Some of the kids from the youth center were sitting with their parents in the pews, trying in vain to keep from crying. The Bennett’s were sitting with the Russell’s, all with somber faces. Agent Freeman was there as well as some other FBI agents Luis couldn’t remember the names of. Luis even noticed Pat and her husband. No one sat near the Crane’s though. It was as though the whole town avoided them. They came to pay their respects to Sheridan, but would say nothing to her family. Luis noticed Ethan looking lifeless himself. He also noticed that ole’ man Alistair was not in attendance. God, how it would hurt Sheridan to know her own father hadn’t come to her funeral. She had known in her heart what her family was, but it never stopped her from yearning for her father’s love.
Out of the corner of his eye Luis noticed Theresa lurch forward as if she had a destination, but their mother held fast to her arm and shot her an admonishing look. It didn’t really faze Luis, though. Nothing had in the last few days.
Finally, he could no longer avoid it. Luis focused his gaze at the front of the church and on Sheridan’s open casket. He approached it slowly, hoping that by some miracle she wouldn’t be in it. That it would be some cruel joke or even another dream. But, no, there she was, as beautiful as she had been in life. Her face looked so incredibly peaceful. A stranger looking at her would think she had died peacefully in her sleep rather than meeting the violent, horrifying death she had experienced. Luis reached down and laid his hands on her folded ones. “Good-bye, Sheridan,” he whispered.
The Lopez-Fitzgerald’s took their seat one pew behind the Bennett’s and the Russell’s. Whitney Russell turned around and smiled at Theresa, then reached over and squeezed Luis’s hand. Luis smiled weakly at her, and then turned his gaze to Hank. His best friend looked like a shadow of himself. He sat, shrunken and white, next to Sam. Hunched over in the end of the pew like he was trying to disappear. Lines etched his face and his wet eyes looked tortured. Luis knew how bad Hank felt for leaving Sheridan that night. But he just couldn’t bring himself to give his friend his forgiveness no matter how many times he apologized.
Luis glanced back over at the Crane’s and saw that Ethan and Julian were both glaring at him. God, how he hated them. How dare they blame him. How dare they accuse him of not caring about Sheridan’s life. He had valued Sheridan’s life above his own. If he had been there that night he would have gladly taken the bullet for her. He would have gladly been the one being buried today if it meant Sheridan would still be alive. But he hadn’t been there that night. Hell, who was he kidding? How could he hate the Crane’s for blaming him when he blamed himself? And it was difficult to feel hatred for Ethan, no matter what threats he flung, when he saw the same pain in Ethan’s eyes that he saw in the mirror everyday. Old man Alistair may not have shown up, and Julian may be a cold fish, but Ethan had truly loved his aunt and he truly missed her.
The mumblings of the church quieted as Father Lanagan approached to begin the service. He stared blankly at his audience as he spoke. “Today we have gathered to say good-bye to a good friend. Sheridan Crane. Ms. Crane has not been back in Harmony long. Just a little over a year. But in that short time she has touched the lives of many of us. She has acted as a mentor to children at the youth center and as a friend to many Harmony citizens. She was a devoted daughter, sister, and aunt.”
Father Lanagan took a deep breath before continuing. “When a horrible event such as Sheridan’s death occurs people feel the need to assign the blame to something or someone. They are distraught and don’t think clearly. They see only their rage at having a loved one torn from them. But now is not the time to point the finger. Now is the time to remember Sheridan. And to share those memories with others who knew her.” Luis noticed Ethan shift in his seat and peer over at him and Sam out of the corner of his eye. Father Lanagan didn’t have to mention any names. The Crane’s understood perfectly, but he doubted they cared.
Father Lanagan went on, but Luis had tuned out. He sat in a daze, staring at the open coffin in front. God, she didn’t belong in there. She was so young and so beautiful and they had had so much to look forward to. But now she was dead and his heart was crushed and he had never even gotten to tell her he loved her.
When Luis snapped back to attention Father Lanagan was concluding the service. He nodded to his assistant, who stood up and walked over to the casket. Luis’s chest tightened as the assistant reached to pull down the cover. This was it; he would never see her again. Luis felt the tears well up in his eyes and he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He leaned over and let go. Tears streamed down his face and his body shook with silent sobs. Pilar and Theresa, on either side of him, put their arms around him in an attempt to comfort him. But there would be no comfort, Sheridan was dead and she would never be back.
Chapter Four
The sound of hard shoes echoed on the cement floor as the three men walked across the morgue receiving area. They located the casket where it was waiting for burial the next morning. As one man opened the casket cover another prepared the syringe. He picked up Sheridan Crane’s arm, looking for a vein. As he injected the serum another put his fingers on her wrist.
“How long will it be, Doctor?” the third asked.
“Should take no longer than two minutes,” the doctor answered, checking his watch. True to his word they detected her pulse in just over a minute. Thirty seconds later her eyes fluttered open and she began to stir. She stared straight ahead and the three men in front of her.
“Sheridan, don’t try to move. Just give the serum a few minutes to take full affect.”
The third man approached her, putting his hand on her forehead and smiling gently down at her. Sheridan opened her mouth to say something, but found she had no voice.
“Shh, just wait. You’ll be one hundred percent before you know it,” the doctor assured her. “Agent Freeman, why don’t you take this time to explain to her what happened."
Freeman cleared his throat. “Well, Sheridan. To put it simply, you were murdered. Do you remember being shot?” Sheridan nodded weakly. “Well that was all a set-up. It’s rather complicated but I’m going to try to explain it the best I can. The same night I came for Luis, Hank came to us desperate. He was being blackmailed by the same men who wanted you dead. They had some information on him that he didn’t want anyone to know. They were threatening him. They would give this information to his brother if he didn’t kill you. We took this as an opportunity to bring down the drug cartel once and for all. We offered him an out. We would destroy his records if he would help us stage your death.”
“How,” Sheridan managed to croak.
“Do you remember the Russian dancers,” Freeman asked, smiling gently. Sheridan nodded. “They were agents. Their purpose was to distract you long enough to slip something in your food. It’s an herb unheard of by anyone outside the government. Its purpose is to slow down your body so much you appear dead. The rest of the evening it was spreading throughout your body, slowing down your pulse until it was undetectable. The timing had to be impeccable. So that, when Hank shot you with the blanks we had replaced, you would slip into the induced coma shortly after, convincing Pierre you were really dead. This is why I had to insist Luis leave that night. The pain you felt was very real, and I apologize for that. The bullets pierced your skin, but not enough to do any damage.”
“And Luis went along with this?” Sheridan asked weakly. Freeman looked up at the third man.
“Luis doesn’t know. He thinks your dead, Sheridan,” Sheridan moaned. “Everyone thinks your dead. Their grief had to be real in order for the drug cartel to be convinced. The only ones who know are the three of us here and a few other agents. And Hank, of course. Our doctor, here, was brought in to inject the serum that would override the herb. From here you will go into protective custody until we are able to bring in Pierre and Roger.”
Sheridan looked up at the man holding her hand. “You knew about his, Father. You helped plan this.”
Alistair Crane nodded at his daughter. “Yes, Sheridan. I knew about his from the beginning.”
Chapter Five
Two weeks later
Luis shuffled through the snow, not noticing the cold and wet that soaked through his shoes and the bottoms of his pants. The snow had just fallen the night before and obviously the maintenance crew hadn’t been by yet to shovel the sidewalks. Not that that mattered much. Luis located the gravesite easily. This certainly wasn’t the first time he had been there.
He squatted down, balancing precariously on his feet in the thick snow, and set the six white roses on the ground in front of the headstone. He still couldn’t get used to seeing her name on the hard granite. Sheridan Crane. It looked so cold and heartless, completely different from what she had actually been. When he had come here the first time he had been surprised at how plain the marker was. Surely the Crane’s could afford something more ornate for one of their own. But it had become abundantly clear to Luis, judging from they had treated Ivy and Gwen, that the Crane’s did not value women as anything but decoration. Why should Alistair’s daughter be anything different?
Luis reached over with his gloved hand and wiped away the loose snow from the grooves of her name. “Hey you,” he said warmly. “It’s just me again. Back to bother you some more.” It amazed Luis that the only one he could talk comfortably to these days was a dead woman. He could come here and tell her anything and everything that he felt in his heart and mind. But the minute his family or Sam asked him anything, he clammed up, giving them one word answers or shrugs.
“Nothing much new on this side. I still haven’t found those bastards that did this to you. But don’t worry, Sheridan, I will. If it’s the last thing I do, I swear to you I will.” Luis realized he was losing his temper again and he took a couple deep breaths to try and relax.
“I haven’t gone back to work yet, either. I know what your thinking. Get your lazy butt up and back to the police station. But I just can’t go back yet, Sheridan. I can’t face any of that crap yet. I know it’s hurting the family, and I wish I could change that. But right now I’m no good to the force anyway.
“Christmas is in a couple weeks. I was really looking forward to spending Christmas with you. But it just doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. Maybe I should just go away. Maybe I should go to Paris and track down those bastards. Do the same thing to them that they did to you.
“God Sheridan, why did this have to happen? Just when things were finally falling into place with us. I wish it was me down there. I wish so many things. More than anything I wish I had gotten to tell you everything I had been bottling up inside. I wish I could’ve told you just once that I loved you. That I’ve never loved anyone as much as I loved you. You came into my life and changed it forever. And I’m never going to feel this way for anyone again as long as I live.”
Tears trickled down Luis’s cheek and froze in the frigid winter air. He heard the sound of snow crunching behind him and stood up quickly, spinning around to see who had joined him. Ethan approached him slowly as Luis quickly wiped the tears from his face. For once Ethan’s eyes were void of the calculating coldness and anger and instead filled with compassion.
“So you’re the one who keeps leaving white roses on her grave?” Ethan asked softly. Luis nodded. “I thought it was father, or even grandfather.” Luis shrugged and started away.
“I’ll leave you alone.”
“Luis, wait. Listen, I was way out of line the night she died. I wasn’t thinking clearly and I certainly wasn’t being rational. I know it wasn’t your fault she died, but I had to blame someone. I could see it on your face that night; you would have gladly taken those bullets for her. I know how she felt about you, and you’ve made it abundantly clear just now how you felt about her. Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sorry. And, I hope you’ll accept my apology for treating you so badly. I’m ashamed of myself and, more importantly, I know Sheridan would have been ashamed of me also.” Ethan’s eyes pleaded with him. Begging him to give him some kind of absolution.
No matter how he felt about the Crane’s, Luis couldn’t deny Ethan that. Sheridan had loved her nephew, and therefore there must be some good in him.
“No hard feelings,” Luis stuck out his hand. Ethan face lifted in relief as he grasped Luis’s hand in a firm handshake.
“Sheridan would be proud,” Ethan said. Luis stared at the headstone proclaiming her resting spot.
“Yes, I’m sure she would be.” With that said, Luis clapped Ethan on the back and left him to be with his aunt.
Chapter Six
Sheridan paced back and forth across the bedroom floor. She had been in this damn hotel room for two weeks and she had never been so restless in her entire life. Her days were filled with thoughts of Luis and Ethan and the pain they must be going through. She was also consumed with the fear that her brother was using her “death” and his clout to strip Luis of his job. And if she knew Julian, that was exactly what he would do. She couldn’t stand the thought that Luis was grieving for her and she had begged Agent Freeman to let her give him some sign that she was still alive. But he had adamantly refused, telling her again and again that Luis had to believe she was dead in order for them to catch the drug cartel. She had even tried to work on Agent Gavin, the agent assigned to watch over her, but to no avail.
Sheridan left the bedroom and out through the living room where Gavin was reading. He eyed her as she went into the small kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. She looked around the hotel suite, which had become her prison the last two weeks. Then she glared at Gavin as she sipped at her coffee. Being stuck with him made her miss Luis even more. The man had zero personality, zero sense of humor, and zero patience. At least with Luis as a bodyguard she had had someone she could talk to, among other stuff. Sheridan smiled slyly into her coffee cup as she thought about their last two days together. In fact, she had been thinking about those couple days a lot, lately. She had been reliving that last night especially over and over in her mind. But that had only frustrated her more, as it did now. She set her mug down a little too hard, the coffee sloshing out the side.
“Damnit,” she cursed as she grabbed a rag to clean it up. Gavin looked at her over the top of his book, then, losing interest, down again. She made a face at him once she knew he couldn’t see her anymore. This little trip had done nothing but irritate her more. She picked up her coffee cup and stomped back into her room, slamming the door behind her. Flopping onto the bed, she reached over to turn on the small clock radio next to it. But immediately, as the music filled the room, she wished she hadn’t.
“I imagine your lips on mine, and it takes my breath away. I imagine what it would feel like to be the one in your arms and in your dreams. They say we come from two completely different worlds. But anyone can see that they're wrong. When I'm with you I feel blessed, safe and precious. To know you is a gift from above, imagine if we fell in love. I imagine your hand on mine and I'm filled with butterflies. I imagine what it would sound like to hear you say that you'll love me 'til you die.”
Sheridan hugged her pillow to her as tears streaked her face. “Oh Luis,” she whispered. “I have to find a way to get to you.”
Chapter Seven
Luis had never felt such a strong mixture of anger, frustration, and fear in his life. He was running with all his force, but crawling along at the same time. He was just feet from the cottage. He could hear Sheridan screaming his name, but he couldn’t get any closer. Suddenly he heard three shots ring out. He burst through the door, but the assailant was gone. Instead, in the midst of the remains of their date, lay Sheridan. She reached for him with one hand, holding the other blood-covered hand over the wound on her chest.
“If you can’t see it, it isn’t there,” she said in an odd voice. She stared at him solemnly, the life leaking out of her eyes. Luis tried to pull her hand away to look at the bullet holes. “No, don’t look at it,” Sheridan hissed.
“Sheridan, I love you. Please don’t go.” His voice echoed strangely in the small room. Behind him Agent Freeman and Eve walked in, carrying a coffin.
“It’s time to say good-bye, Luis,” Eve said sympathetically. Sheridan’s eyes were still open as they lifted her into the coffin. She gripped his hand with declining strength.
“But I’m not dead,” Sheridan yelled hoarsely. “You can’t bury me, I’m not dead.” She continued to yell as the coffin lid closed over her. Luis tried to get to her, tried to let her out of her coffin, but the same force that had kept him from the cottage was once again holding him back.
“No, Eve, let her out,” he cried. “She’s not dead, let her out.”
“She’s gone, Luis. It’s time to let her go.” Eve and Freeman picked up the coffin, carrying out the door. Luis, unable to move, could hear her crying and pounding on the coffin lid.
“Sheridan, I’m coming. Sheridan, No.”
“No!!” Luis bolted up in bed, still hearing the sound of Sheridan pounding on the coffin until he realized it was just someone knocking on his bedroom door.
“Yeah, come in,” he called. He took a deep breath, trying to calm down his racing heart. Once again he was covered in sweat. But this is the way he had become accustomed to waking up. He had not had a nightmare-less night since Sheridan’s death. Theresa stuck her head in the door, smiling widely at him. “Mama and Miguel and I are going Christmas shopping. Mama says you should come,” she said, coming farther in his room and sitting down on the end of his bed.
“Theresa, I really don’t feel like going shopping.”
“I know, Luis. But you need to get out. The only place you ever go is the cemetery. And the only people you ever talk to are Chief Bennett and Agent Freeman,” Theresa pleaded with him and he could see the concern in her eyes. He signed heavily before relenting.
“Yeah, all right. Just give me a few minutes to shower and I’ll go.”
Theresa bounded out of bed, her face in a wide grin. “You won’t regret it, Luis. We’ll have fun. It’ll be like when we were kids.” Luis smiled tolerantly at her.
“Yeah, I guess it will be.” But somehow I doubt it, he thought to himself.
Theresa smiled at him again, and left him to get ready. Luis reached under his pillow and pulled out the snapshot of Sheridan that Ethan had given him to remember her by. He stared at it for a minute, as had become a daily ritual. He was determined to never forget one feature of her face. He would never allow himself to forget her smile or the way her eyes twinkled. He slid the picture back under his pillow and got out of bed. As much as he didn’t want to go out, he knew he owed it to his family to put back together some semblance of a life.
* * * Luis shuffled along behind his family as Theresa chattered happily to Pilar, and Miguel and Charity gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes. Luis tried not to look at them. If he had known Charity was coming, he would have definitely stayed home. Not that he didn’t want happiness for his brother, he just wasn’t in the mood to see his brother so in love when he himself was in so much pain. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn’t help it. Not that it would have really mattered one way or the other. If it wasn’t Miguel and Charity it was some other couple flouncing past him, lost in each other. It made Luis’s heart hurt. He and Sheridan had never had the chance to enjoy that. So much had kept them apart for so long and they had never gotten the chance to take pleasure in the simple joys of being a couple.
Luis wasn’t having much luck in the shopping area, either. He hadn’t realized until today just how detached he had become from his family. He had absolutely no idea what they would like or appreciate for Christmas. But Lord knows he had found enough stuff he would’ve loved to buy for Sheridan. At the jewelry store he had seen the most perfect earrings that would have gone with the dress she wore the night of their date. The night she had died. At the bookstore he had seen a book entitled Cooking for Dummies and had gotten halfway up to the checkout with it before he remembered he could never give it to her. And in the music store, of all the luck, their song had come on and he knew she would’ve loved the CD.
As he tagged along behind his family he had visions of Christmas morning with Sheridan. He imagined them waking up together and opening the gifts they had so carefully picked out for each other. He visualized the gleam in her eye, like that of a child, mischievous and full of life. Then he would make her breakfast, but most definitely not eggs benedict, and they would spend the whole day in bed. Luis felt briefly guilty that, in his fantasy, he wasn’t with his family. But right now all he wanted was Sheridan. Not that it mattered one bit anyway, because his dream would never happen.
Chapter Eight
Sheridan eased the door open silently and slowly, craning her head to peer around it. Agent Gavin was asleep on the couch, his horrendous snoring encompassing the entire room. She smiled to herself and thought about how easy this would be. She knew it would have never been as easy to slip away from Luis, but then, Luis had had a more personal stake in her well-being. She looked down at her outfit, hoping it would be enough to keep anyone from recognizing her. She wasn’t stupid. She wasn’t about to run around Harmony yelling at the top of her lungs that she was alive. She would be stealthy about her late night trip. But she had to see Luis, even if he didn’t see her.
She slipped out of the bedroom, tiptoeing so quietly she couldn’t even hear herself. As she reached the door she heard Gavin roll over and felt a moment of panic, but the snoring continued and she breathed a silent sigh of relief. She quietly and gently opened the hotel door and slid out, closing it behind her noiselessly. She grinned slyly to herself. I’m coming, Luis, she thought to herself as she hurried down the hallway.
* * * Sheridan balanced precariously on the ledge of the Lopez-Fitzgerald house, straining to keep steady as she tried to lift the window without a sound. She thought briefly back to the last time she had been on a ledge, Luis’s strong arms wrapped around her, struggling not to let her go. That moment had been filled with fear, but now she was filled with anticipation.
As the window issued a low groan, Sheridan froze, waiting for Luis’s instinct to wake him up. But there was no movement and she continued, pushing the window all the way up. She crawled in the window, silently wondering to herself what her family would think if they could see her now, sneaking into the bedroom of the man she loved. But then, she thought bitterly, she wished it could be for other reasons.
Sheridan crept across Luis’s bedroom, her eyes focused on his sleeping form. She knelt down by his bed, staring at him as her heart hammered. He looked so tortured. His face was scrunched up in a soundless dream and his eyes shifted back and forth behind his lids. His forehead was bathed in sweat and he jerked sporadically, as if fighting some nameless, faceless assailant. It was then she noticed the photograph, gripped in his hand. She frowned and wished for the millionth time she could take away his pain.
She reached over and ran her fingers tenderly along his jaw and across his lips. He immediately stilled and the creases disappeared from his face. His whole body seemed to relax. She had a calming affect on him. She sat for a moment watching him, concentrating on the rise and fall of his chest as he slept. He was such a beautiful man, both inside and out, and the fact that he was hurting tore her up inside. Impulsively she leaned over and kissed him gently, her lips lingering on his cheek. She paused as he whispered her name, so inaudibly she could barely hear it. But as she pulled back she saw his eyes were still closed. He was dreaming about her. This gave her a cozy feeling and she wished more than anything that she could stay with him. She wanted to just crawl into bed and hold him and make his anguish go away. But she had taken an enormous risk as it was. If she abandoned the plan now everything they had gone through would be a waste, and she couldn’t let that happen.
She stood up, unwilling to go but unable to stay. She gazed at him for a moment, praying the whole mess would be over soon and they could finally be together. She climbed back out the window as silently as she had come and ran through the night back to her prison.
* * * Luis woke up slowly, trying to recapture the first good dream he had had in weeks. The clock by his bed told him it was just after two in the morning and he wondered what had woken him. He became gradually aware of a breeze in his room, and with it came a familiar scent. He inhaled deeply, trying to figure out if it really was what he thought it was. Sheridan’s perfume. He would recognize it anywhere. He got out of bed quickly, not really sure what he thought he was going to do. The breeze chilled his skin as he walked over to the window. The window was open a crack and the cold winter air blew in. He pulled the window down and looked out at the pitch black night. But he knew full well he wouldn’t find what he hoped to see. It’s your mind he thought as he flopped back onto his bed. You don’t really smell her perfume. It was just a remnant of a dream. Luis laid back down, pulling his sheets around him. He lay there staring at the picture of Sheridan until he got sleepy again. It’s all your imagination he though as his eyes grew heavy and his mind started to cloud. Then why was the window open he asked himself too late as he slipped back into a restless sleep.
Chapter Nine
Luis stared into his coffee cup, trying to convince himself that everything he had sensed the night before had been a dream. He knew in his head it had to be, but his heart still refused to believe he could have imagined it. The shrill ring of the doorbell snapped him out of his trance. Remembering he was the only one home, he made his way to the living room to get it. He was more than a little surprised to see Agent Freeman on the other side of the door.
“Hal, what can I do for you,” he asked wearily, leaning against the doorjamb.
“Well, Luis, I got some good news for you. Something I had to tell you in person. We’ve got both Pierre and Roger in custody.” Luis smirked and shrugged. “What difference does that make, you’ve had Pierre in custody before and it didn’t do any good. You have nothing against him, your sole witness is dead, or did you forget that?”
“We’ve got them on drug trafficking charges. Interpol brought em in after a successful undercover operation.”
“Trafficking? What will that get them? 5 to 10? You’ll never nail em for Sheridan’s murder. They had a pro for that and you’ll never get them to confess. And you’d be lucky to even get them for the cartel”
“No, you’re right. We’ll probably never get them for the actual murder, but if you come with me and I.D. them for the attempts on Sheridan’s life and the kidnapping, we can still put them away for awhile.”
“Come with you where?” Luis asked, finally finding a taste of the revenge he had been waiting for.
“Paris, of course. Where they’re being held.”
“Are you sure this will do some good? I don’t want to make another mockery of Sheridan’s death like the last arrest was.”
“This is for real, Luis. You can finally find some sort of justice, maybe not as much as you’d like, but enough to get them out of the picture.”
Luis sighed. “OK, I’ll go. For Sheridan. When do we leave?”
Freeman looked at his watch. “Two hours.”
“Boy, you don’t waste any time, do you?”
“An FBI agents work is never done. I’ll send a car for you in an hour or so. They’ll bring you to the airport and I’ll meet you there.” Freeman started away before turning back to look at Luis. “This is what you’ve been waiting for, Luis. Maybe now you can start putting your life back together.”
Luis shook his head. “My life fell apart the moment I found Sheridan’s body, Hal. And no matter how much time these bastards get, I’ll never be able to go back to normal.”
Freeman stared at Luis for a moment as if he had something else to tell him. Then he nodded and walked away. The time would come soon enough when Luis would know the truth. And then he could finally be at peace.
Chapter Ten
Sheridan fidgeted nervously in her seat, clenching and unclenching her hands. It was so close. Everything she had gone through was finally ready to pay off. In a few hours she would be in Paris and would finally be able to testify. She was going to love seeing the look on Pierre and Roger’s faces when they found out she was alive. But then she could fly back home and return to Luis and explain everything to him. And they could finally be together. It would be a rough few days, she knew. More hiding out and being secretly carted around. But in the end, it would all be worth it.
* * * Luis stared out the plane window at the ocean below. He was overcome with memories of his last plane trip, with Sheridan complaining about and to him the entire time. She had been so angry that he had “kidnapped” her in order to get her out of Paris. He had done so much to protect her, but in the end it had been useless. He had been gone when she had needed him the most. Now all he wanted was to put those bastards away for good. His legs trembled with anxiety. He was able to calm himself now, but who knew what he’d do when he actually came face to face with them. What he wanted more than anything was to kill them both. He had always considered himself a fairly level-headed man, but the mere thought of Roger and Pierre filled him with such rage all constraint and reason left him immediately. Luis looked over at Hal and found him looking at him again. Every time he looked over the agent was staring at him. He probably didn’t trust him not to lose it.
“What?” he asked him, frustrated at the constant surveillance. Freeman cleared his throat.
“Luis, I just want you to know I admire your grit. You’ve remained very strong throughout this entire ordeal and your valiancy will not go unrewarded.”
“Look, Hal, if you’re talking about making detective, that’s really the last thing on my mind right now. I don’t even know if I’ll ever go back to being a cop. And as far as being strong, I don’t feel very strong. It takes everything I have just to get up in the morning. I feel like at any minute I’m going to crumble and I can’t even imagine going back to a normal life. I’m just existing right now. I’m just trying to get from one day to the next because my work isn’t done yet. I’m not sure what I’ll do with my life once these guys are put away. Maybe they’re hiring at the fish cannery.” Luis smiled bitterly.
“I’d hate to see your talents go to waste, Luis,” Hal said frowning. “You’re a good cop.”
“Yeah, I did a real bang up job ‘serving and protecting’ Sheridan,” he muttered, slumping down in his seat.
“You did everything you could. And everything will work out, just trust me on that.” Luis studied Freeman’s face for a minute. There was something there he couldn’t put his finger on, something the agent knew that he didn’t. He finally shrugged and turned back to the window and waited. Just waited.
Chapter Eleven
Luis threw open the door of his room and looked around. It was pretty impressive, the FBI had gone all out. It was a full suite, much like the one Sheridan had stayed in during her brief return to Paris. The bellhop came up behind him with his bags and set about putting them away. Freeman followed soon after, looking over some papers he had received from one of the other agents involved in the case.
“So what’s with the digs? I didn’t realize the FBI was so generous. I don’t think I’ll be here long enough to need all this. Don’t I just need to give a statement on the stand or something and that will be it?”
Freeman cleared his throat and shuffled through his papers, avoiding Luis’s eyes.
“Well, it won’t be quite that quick. This will take a few days, and they won’t need you for at least a couple. There’s another, um, witness that will take up a lot of their time.”
Luis’s eyebrows creased in puzzlement and curiosity. “Oh yeah, whose that? I didn’t know anything about another witness.”
“Yeah, just a, ahem, local. Has some pertinent information that could get them more time.” Luis nodded.
“Well, I hope they’re being well taken care of,” he mumbled harshly.
“They’re well being is of our utmost concern,” Freeman replied, a bit of uncharacteristic sharpness in his voice. Luis looked away, slightly embarrassed by his harshness.
* * *
Sheridan fell onto her bed and rubbed her temples with her fingers, trying to ease the throbbing pain in her head. It had been a rough day, filled with hundreds of questions from dozens of people. But soon it would be over.
She heard a soft knock on her door and sat up. “Come in,” She called. The door opened to reveal Agent Freeman. She smiled tensely at him.
“Hi, Agent Freeman. Come on in.” He did so, perching on the end of her bed.
“How did everything go today? Agent Gavin tells me you’re not in the best of moods.”
“Would you be?” She snapped at him, then immediately felt guilty. It wasn’t his fault she was here. He was doing everything he could for her. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little cranky. I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK, it’s to be expected. Your, er, boyfriend is a little on edge also.” Sheridan looked up expectantly. She relished any mention of Luis.
“You’ve spoken to him?”
“Quite recently.”
“How is he?” She sat alertly, waiting for his response.
“Distraught, of course. But you knew that. He cares very much for you, Sheridan. It’s very obvious. I know this has been difficult for you both, and I can’t apologize enough for putting both of you through so much pain. But in just a couple days this will be over, and you’ll be free without anything hanging over you.”
“Nothing but a lot of explaining,” Sheridan smiled wistfully.
Freeman nodded. “Are you ready for the trial tomorrow?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be. Although I still think I’ve given enough information today to keep me out of the courtroom.”
“I know, but it’s a necessary evil.”
“I realize that. You will be able to keep this out of the media for now, won’t you? I don’t want the fact that I’m alive to get back home before I do. I want to be the one to tell Luis and my family and friends. I don’t want them to read it in the paper or hear it on the radio.”
“Don’t you worry about that. This trial is of utmost secrecy. Nothing will come out until your safely home.”
“Thank you, Agent Freeman,” she laid her hand gently over his. “Thank you for everything you’ve done.”
“Well, what can I say,” he smiled gently. “I’m a sucker for adventure and romance.” He stood up and walked to the door. “Get some sleep, Sheridan. Tomorrow will be a long day. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Sheridan watched the door close behind him and lay back down. Her heart hammered in her chest thinking of both the stress and happiness the next few days would bring.
Chapter Twelve
Luis paced back and forth in the small room he had become all too familiar with. He had been in this ‘holding’ space for two hours while the ‘star witness’ had been testifying. Why he couldn’t be in the courtroom while they were doing so was beyond him. Instead he was stuck in the small, sterile room waiting his turn. He fingered his tie for the millionth time, itching to be anywhere but here.
The door finally opened and Agent Freeman appeared, a smile stretched across his face. “Finally, am I up?”
“No. We won’t be needing you, Luis, I’m sorry.”
“What? What do you mean you won’t be needing me?”
“Our witness gave us everything we need. She was wonderful in court. A real gamer. Roger and Pierre are going away for a long, long time,” Freeman’s voice filled with pride.
“So I came here for nothing? I flew all the way to Europe to sit around in a hotel room for three days?”
“And what was your alternative? Sitting around your house for three days?” Luis didn’t like the way Freeman was acting. He seemed so light and carefree. The smile hadn’t left his face and his voice was cheery. He understood he was happy about the case, but still. He wished he could be so delighted.
“Come on, Luis, I’ll give you a ride back to the hotel.” He patted Luis on the back jovially.
The ride back was silent. Luis stared out the window at the passing city. He should be so glad that the drug cartel was behind bars for good. But he felt a bit cheated. First because he hadn’t had any part in putting them away and two because it didn’t give him the feeling of vindication he had expected. Nothing had changed. Sheridan was still dead and his life was still in pieces.
Freeman pulled up to the door of the hotel and Luis turned to him.
“Aren’t you coming in?”
Freeman shook his head. “No, I have to go back to take care of a few things. But don’t go anywhere. I have a few things to discuss with you later on.” Luis shrugged and climbed out, slamming the door behind him. Freeman rolled the window down and called after him.
“Luis,” he paused, giving Luis time to turn around.
“Yeah?”
“I hope you forgive me for keeping certain things from you. I trust you’ll understand, though. This was just the way things had to be.”
The agent drove off, leaving Luis standing there with bewilderment etched on his face.
* * * Sheridan had never felt such relief and satisfaction in her life. She kept repeating two words over and over again in her head, “It’s over.” No matter how much she said it she still couldn’t believe it was real. She could finally start putting her life back together.
She looked over at Freeman and he laughed at the smile on her face.
“Did you know you’ve been grinning like a fool for the past half hour?”
“Don’t I have every right too?”
“You certainly do. You were amazing in there.”
“Did you see the looks on their faces when I walked in? Priceless, absolutely priceless.”
“I quite enjoyed that myself.” Sheridan smiled widely and looked back out the window. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“Hal, you’re going the wrong way. My hotel’s the other way.” He nodded, beaming smugly. “There’s something else you need to take care of, first.” He pulled into the driveway of another hotel and stopped the car.
Sheridan groaned. “All I want to do is go home and see Luis.”
“Well, that’s what I brought you here for. You don’t have to wait to get to Harmony to see him.” Sheridan’s eyes widened excitedly.
“He’s here?”
“Yes. He thought he came here to testify, but I knew you’d want him here right away when you were done.”
“So he doesn’t know yet?”
“He has no idea. Perhaps you better go clue him in.” Sheridan had never moved so quickly as when she propelled herself from the car. Freeman laughed at her animation. “Room 305,” he called behind her as she slammed the car door. She stopped halfway up the stairs and turned back, opening the door again.
“Thank you, Hal. Thank you so much.”
“Your welcome.” She smiled and shut the door again. Her stomach fluttered as she entered the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. She could feel her heart racing and her legs were going weak. She was going to see Luis again. They would finally be together.
She stepped out of the elevator when it stopped and walked slowly to his room, the sweet anticipation driving her crazy. She paused outside of his door, bracing herself, and then rose her hand to knock.
Chapter Thirteen
Luis pulled off his tie and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, finally feeling like he was able to breathe. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and cracked it open. He was just about to take a swig when there was a knock on his door.
He cursed silently, not really in the mood to talk to Freeman right then. But he swung the door open and his heart immediately fell into his stomach. He felt a sudden urge to pinch himself, to make sure he wasn’t having another dream or fantasy. Sheridan stood before him, beaming widely with tears welling up in her sparkling eyes. He reached for her with one trembling hand, almost afraid to touch her. Afraid she would disappear when he did. But as his hand touched her face his resolve broke and he pulled her to him. She kicked the door shut with one foot as she wrapped her arms around him and held on for dear life.
“Oh God, Sheridan. How? What? Oh God, are you real?” Weeks of repressed emotions exploded and tears streamed down his face, mixing with hers.
“I’m real, Luis. Very, very real.” He pulled back, holding her at arms length to look at her. She beamed at him, the tears still streaming down her face. She looked tired and stressed and beautiful. He couldn’t believe she was standing in front of him, and he wasn’t waking up.
“How?” He managed to ask through his tears.
“Oh God, do you have a few hours,” she laughed, wiping her cheeks.
“I have forever.” He hugged her again, holding her tight, afraid to let her go for fear she would turn into an illusion. “God, I wanted to tell you, Luis. I wanted more than anything for you to know I was alive. But they said you absolutely couldn’t know,” she said, pulling away from him. She took his hand and led him to the couch. They sat facing each other, their hands clasped between them, desperate for constant contact between them.
“Who wouldn’t tell me? Roger and Pierre?” His eyebrows furrowed in a mixture of curiosity and anger. She knew she would have to explain this very carefully in order to avoid invoke his rage.
“No, Freeman and the FBI,” she heard him suck in his breath and shift to stand up, but she held fast to his hands, keeping him where he was. “Just listen to me. Please don’t be mad, Luis. I was angry too, at first, but I’ve realized this was the only way.”
Luis took a deep breath and prepared himself for Sheridan’s story.
“I, um. God, I don’t even know where to start.”
“Let’s start with who shot you. Who pulled the trigger, Sheridan?”
Sheridan cleared her throat, preparing herself for his wrath. “Hank. Hank was the one who shot me.”
“WHAT!!!” There was no holding him back this time as he shot up from the couch. But realizing he had nowhere to go, he began pacing. “All this time he played the victim. Acted remorseful for leaving you. But he’s the one who shot you. He killed…” when he realized he could blame Hank for killing someone who wasn’t really dead he silenced himself. He looked down at Sheridan’s patient and tolerant face.
“Are you going to let me finish?” Luis couldn’t help but let his heart melt at the silent plea she sent him with her eyes.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. Go on,” he sat back down and took her hands again, rubbing them between his.
“When it happened, when he was holding the gun on me, I couldn’t understand it. He looked so regretful. I could tell he didn’t want to do it. He shot me twice, in the chest. I blanked out for a minute, but I came to quickly. He was crying and apologizing, and I begged him to help me. But then Pierre was there, telling him to finish me off,” Sheridan’s eyes grew distant as she recalled the horrible night. “Then the machine picked up, and I could hear your voice, asking where I was. I begged him to let me say good-bye to you. I started to crawl to the phone, I was almost to it and he shot me again, in the back,” Luis felt his chest constrict with pain and fury. A single tear escaped and fell, splashing their joined hands. Sheridan took a deep breath and continued. “The next thing I remembered I was waking up in a coffin. Agent Freeman was there. And so were my father and some doctor. As I was waking up, Freeman explained to me what happened. It was all a set-up to begin with. Pierre and Roger had some information on Hank that they were using to blackmail him. They would give it to Sam if he didn’t kill me. So Hank went to Freeman and they came up with it. And I guess my father too. It was the only way to get rid of Pierre and Roger for good. They would fake my death. They slipped me some kind of drug. Something that slowed down my body and my vitals so they couldn’t be detected. And the bullets were blanks Hank had replaced. And that was pretty much it. Rest in peace, Sheridan Crane. They recovered me from the coffin after the funeral, and filled it with sandbags instead. Then I went into hiding. I couldn’t just come back right away. They knew the drug cartel would hear about it. So we had to wait until they could be set up for something else, then, surprise…”
“The star witness.”
Sheridan nodded. The story exhausted her just telling it. She watched Luis as he mulled it over. It was hard to believe, she knew. Then his eyes suddenly brightened as the broke into a smile.
“My room. You were in my room the other night, weren’t you?”
“Shhh,” she said smiling. “Don’t tell Freeman that. I snuck out. Away from my bodyguard.”
“Why does that not surprise me?”
Sheridan shrugged and shifted close enough to wrap her arms around him.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Luis,” she said into his shoulder. “But they said your pain had to be real in order for the cartel to believe I was really dead. Are you mad?”
“I should be furious. I should hunt Freeman down like a dog. But logic keeps telling me this probably was the only way to end the whole fiasco. And I’m just so incredibly glad to have you back with me, that it really doesn’t even matter how it happened.”
“I just have one regret about it being over.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, since you have to one no guard me against, you won’t be around constantly.”
Luis pulled back, staring into her eyes. “Sheridan, you don’t need someone shooting at you to keep me around. I’d be happy if I never left your side again.”
Sheridan grinned at him and leaned in to kiss him.
“I’ve really missed that,” Luis said as he pulled away a moment later. He felt his eyes misting away, and brushed at them dismissively.
“Then don’t stop,” Sheridan replied, pulling him in for another kiss.
Epilogue
Sheridan curled up against Luis’s side, snuggling in for the long plane trip ahead of them. He put his arm protectively around her, rubbing her shoulder as he bent his head to kiss her forehead. She longed to stay in Paris awhile longer and enjoy the time with Luis. But she couldn’t keep her family waiting. Well, Ethan anyway. He had to know the truth, and deserved to hear it from her.
Sheridan’s thoughts of her nephew quickly evaporated as she felt Luis’s lips on her neck. She smiled as a comforting warmth spread through her body. She was vaguely aware of him mumbling something into her hair.
“Hmm,” she murmured absentmindedly. He raised his head to whisper into her ear.
“I love you.”
Sheridan felt her heart swell to the point of preparing to burst. She knew full well, and had for a while, that Luis cared for her. Cared very much. But hearing those words out of his mouth thrilled her. They had fought it for just too long, and she would not postpone anything anymore. She turned to him, here eyes brimming with joyful tears for what seemed like the millionth time. She looked into his dark eyes and saw all the love and devotion she had searched for her entire life.
“I love you too, Luis. With my entire heart and soul,” her throat constricted with emotion mid sentence, but she managed to get her feelings out. Luis leaned in for a tender kiss before drawing her close to him again.
They were quiet for a while, enjoying the scenery during the take-off.
“This won’t be easy, you know,” Luis said gently, breaking the silence after awhile.
“What won’t?”
“You and me. There are a lot of differences between me and your family. A lot of obstacles to overcome.”
“This isn’t a soap opera, Luis. It’s not like our lives are going to be filled with heartache and deceit and wild adventure. Compared to the last year and a half, our lives will probably be pretty unexciting from here on out.”
Luis shrugged. “I have a feeling it’s always going to be something different with us. Besides, life with you could never be unexciting.”
“No brownie points for you, Officer,” she smiled up at him, delighting in the gorgeous smile he graced her with.
“Seriously, Sheridan. Your family.”
“We do have one powerful ally, Luis. Don’t forget that.”
“Who?”
“Ethan. I know he’ll be behind us. And that means a lot. He’s the only one whose opinion I’m really concerned about.”
“I know. And your right, like you always insist on being. Death didn’t keep us apart, Sheridan. And nothing ever will.”
“That’s the optimism I love to hear,” she kissed him lightly on the cheek.
“Yeah. Well, rest up sweetheart. Because after you get done explaining to your family how you miraculously returned from the dead, we’re finishing that date that was so rudely interrupted.”
Sheridan smiled to herself. Yup, life was good.
The End.