2:26 am
MOOD: like i just had some espresso
MUSIC: Soul of a Titan (Remember The Titans OST)
When She Loved Me (Toy Story II OST)
which go together nicely. try it sometime! seriously, they were MADE for each other :D

The plain truth is, i just had a double shot, hehe! And the double shots at Claymore are more like a Starbucks triple or quadruple shot.. but of course at a more reasonable price! So i am going to cook up some goodness right now.. Mayhaps I'll get King Robert and Pati somewhere on this journey of theirs. Maybe someone will live and not die~! Wouldn't that be special.

without further ado:

THE CONTINUING TALE OF KING ROBERT AND PATI

King Robert arrived 2 seconds too late!

He got the crap beat out of him by this huge undersea dog-demon from hades! The thing just came right up and snapped his right arm off, and then it swallowed it, and just as the hound was about to take another bite, BAM!!! King Robert konked the fiend upside the head, which bought him enough time to make a quick break for it!

But that was when the dog grew another head and both the heads bit off his left leg! Then now he's in SO MUCH PAIN and he clenches his remaining fist in a seething rage, and he beats the dog down! THAT KING GETS UP AND KILLS THAT HELL-HOUND WITH HIS BARE HAND!!! The fallen beast whimpers its last as the enraged king picks up his sword and slays it. Really hard.

King Robert pants for a while, regaining control and composure of mind, and coughs 2 or 3 times, and falls asleep.. unaware of the silent approach of what appeared to be a school of small, silver Songfish. His lids become heavy and his own thoughts indistinct as he slips into a numb state, and the fish surround him in a dance that can only be described as dazzling.. The last semi-remarkable thought he has is "um hm? what fish? those fi-i-ish.. mgg, sleeepyyy..." and then DARKNESS..

meanwhile..

Pati had been snatched through the open door by a massive claw, and behind her the door slammed shut with a deafening echo..

The claw crushed the living breath from Pati, and her rasping attempts at gathering oxygen only prolonged the agony. The despicable beast that held her was a twelve ton Mammoth Troll, whose kind appeared only in sailors' worst dreams during the stormy nights in the hot southern seas. The animal was built something like a sloth, but had the upper body strength and agility of King Robert's finest hares! And also of great tigers, and panthers, and other things that evoke images of great upper body strength! And at that moment, it had the raw fury of a Mother Boar who is protecting her young! Except it was just naturally this way all the time, which is kind of ridiculous, but it still really is true.

But let's not forget that the Troll is crushing Pati! Its two monstrous paws were full of malice toward the kind that walked on boats on the sea, which it clearly was unable to do, and according to the science of the time, the heavier you were, the less likely you were to float. This unfortunately was the case of the Troll, and he saw his situation as a repugnant curse, and it left him bitter throughout its immortal lifespan. With one last powerful stroke of fiery anger, it squeezed even harder! And Pati cried out her last breath for a while, and was suffocated!

From the north, a terrible voice rang out below the sea! The Troll's beady eyes squinted then widened, and its pelt went all prickly, and it dropped the girl in haste. For the Troll knew that the voice did not bode well for any immortal beast of the sea, for the voice brought misery, suffering, loneliness and death! Angered that it had to leave behind and not further harm the effigy of all his hatred, the Troll dug with its powerful forearms beneath the surface of the bottom of the deep, and like a mighty hedgehog had buried himself under the ancient silt within seven seconds time, and before the next seven seconds, he was on his way through earth and stone toward some safe haven for Trolls, which none of the wise yet know of, yet there are even some who still dare to sink to the depths of the sea, in search of the answers to the dark riddles. These adventurers use the acquired and learned skill of tens of thousands of generations of practiced specialized technicians, who know the ways of the world and know the means of manipulating any aspect of it. Twelve of these technicians still practice their arts in the days of King Robert, in the age of redispersement after the fall of the Paradoque Empire. Their numbers had dwindled in these days such that only a handful were ever able to escape the terrible tyranny of Emeror Thydioditus III. His seemingly unstoppable forces were no match for the skill of the dozen, though, and although they were forced to live lives in hiding, they devised secret means using their knowledge of the world, to bring down the entire terrible dynasty. In doing so, they had brought down all of civilization, and were made exile and enemy of evey man.

The voice continued its bellowing until it was sure the Troll had gone. Then with caution, the man behind the voice made his way through the corridors of the deep hall, to the site of Pati's suffocation. The man cautiously approached the girl, and seeing her condition he reached into his bag for a splint for her arm, and also brought forth a small, silver dial. He held the dial to the girl and listened silently for secret signs that would tell him of Pati's condition.. after twenty long seconds he grinned with pleasure, and let out a loud 'ha!' because he knew the girl would be alright.

Casting glances roundabout him at the dark walls, the man lifted the silver dial above the girl three feet or so, then stepped back.. The dial radiated a pale ambient light about the room, and the water around it started to boil. Once or twice it flashed red, but mostly it stayed white, and then it stopped boiling the water. As the man supervised, the dial calmed, and seemed to subtley shift its form.. with the dartlike agility of a fish, it swam to its master's hands. Then the man put it in a canister strapped to his belt.

Pati blinked her eyes open, and sat up startled, obviously still thinking of the Troll; but upon finding no troll and instead finding a strange white-haired young man in his fifties, she allowed her face to betray her puzzled mind, and asked haltingly, "what.. happened?" Now the man laughed, and Pati did not see what was at all funny. She was a bit disoriented, having just sunk to the bottom of the sea, mindlessly followed an entrancing melody, and woken from certain death by suffocation by Troll. The man rolled his eyes, thinking perhaps of a joke that once he'd heard, and just chuckled. Then in a most annoying way, he walked off kind of fast, and Pati could not make out where he went.

So Pati stood dumbfounded..

as on the other side of the golden door, so did King Robert. on both feet.

And King Robert gathered his senses, and took in his new-healed body, and in astonishment he flexed the fingers on his perfect hand, and wriggled the toes on his perfect leg. He took a jump, just as if to be sure, that it was all not some hallucinogenic dream, or some figment of his overworked imagination. He tapped the ground two or three more times, then made different motions with his hand, as if to make sure it was still there. Puzzled, he again grabbed his sword, and then.. he stopped and looked at his hand again, just to look.

If anything could bring a King to tears, it would be the sudden realization that he is alive from the dead once again. At this point the full realization came over him, that he was restored and whole, and that he had been mortally wounded.. astonishment, fear, gratefulness, and astonishment again came in cycles, billowing, overcoming. A full minute passed before the fog lifted, and he was able to get past the fact that he was again alive. He girded up his belt and hoisted his great sword, and gave the golden door with engravings a little push. Encountering much resistance, he sheathed his sword to the holster on his back, wedged his feet against some rocks, and launched a mighty effort against the door, though to no avail.

King Robert quickly determined that the heavy stone door was latched or otherwise stuck shut. Thinking quickly, he opened his pouch of little trinkets, and rummaged through it, turning over brass buttons and small bags of seed and safety pins, until he finally found the desired object. A crazy old white-haired man from the deep south part of Gregaria near the jungle had tossed it his way; a golden oblong crystal, which seemed to gaze into the soul under its own power. The man had told the king to keep it with him, and that it would serve him well in time of trial. The old man was about to explain the use of the gold crystal, but over the southern hills swung a vast swinging band of monkey-maulers, ferocious apes fifty-score times the strength of mortal men, and with ravaging terrible eyes that pierced stone and dark forest to discover what lurked there, including you, if you were there.

The old man had stumbled down an ancient mine shaft, and King Robert was able to follow him to an extent, but only so far, but far enough that the monkey-maulers did not notice his presence because he kept quiet deep in the soft earth. King Robert now held that trinket that the old man gave him, and fingered it in his palm, and wondered if it was somehow magical, and could it open the door somehow, maybe if he chanted a spell or something, so he tried to think of things the old man had mumbled, but those only turned out to be old songs of Bysmyria, a boring old culture with nothing interesting or remotely fascinating or magical about it. The words were cool though. But i don't remember them, and neither, then, did King Robert.

So Robert looked around hastily, and tried to remember various words, trying them out on his tongue as he sort of gave up, "mneuriorr rreuphierr, riulrion di irro'i naoorque di irr" and other things like that, only he pronounced them badly and it sort of made him feel silly. He kind of got mad at the little crystal, cause after all, it was really important, or so the old man had said, and he had no idea how to use it, and it was obviously magical cause King Robert had no idea how to use it. So in his frustration he paced back and forth to and from the door, and then he sat down on the stair, and hurled the little crystal at the door, out of spite.

Then the door exploded in some violent cataclysmic thing that nearly brought down the roof, except it was a sturdy roof made of bedrock and granite. All the little random fish that had been swimming around, all of a sudden scurried and vanished when the door was brought down. Through the dissapating silt and dust, there was no door between the two of them, and King Robert and Pati finally saw each other, then they rushed upstairs to the bottom of the sea.