2:37 am
MOOD: i'm not sure i know the answer to this one... dang, i was sure of it a minute ago
MUSIC: grant is asleep. what, i'm supposed to play music while he's sleeping? ooo, ,, good idea actually, hehe >:D

Yea, I'm up. I'm actually working on this CCC paper. Yep, this is a terrible paper. I wonder what is going on down on the cape. I almost bet you everyone is sleeping. I hope so. :'-(

So i did some google-searching, and got ahold of Chels' best friend John. And I IM'ed him. And subversively i determined that he didn't know about what had happened. What am i, some sort of idiot? Some bearer of bad news i am. But i guess that's my lot in life.. Well, anyway, what a way to meet a guy. Kind of puts a damper on things. But um, I think he took it okay. With some occasional choice words. But yea, he's in a pickle with this one.. Dang, i pray for a miracle on this one. I hope she is able to phone with him at least. Or more. Dang i hope he can get out of the play if, when he needs to. This week is not the best. Jupiter was cool tonight though.

I grabbed a pear and 2 bananas from gillie's, and I sat out under the stars and i had to smile, i had to laugh, cause God's got her, he treasures her. More than i do. It's one thing to sympathize, empathize, (whatever the heck that word is, bah!) its another to heal wounds. And at night when i am most helpless and she hurts most, what can i do? one or the other.. all i can do is the one, but God does the other very well, and .. well, i just had to smile.. but what right did i have to be happy and cheerful at a time like this? No though, i'm not really happy, far from it. Just content, and i guess, in wonder. I was content to leave chelsea in the Father's hands that night, really for the first time. If i said i was okay before, i think i must have been lying. So yeah. yeah.. The stars were dazzling that night.. i think i like the april/may sky. Boötes, Coma Bernices, all that.. All that's great. They need to turn off the lights around the quad though, gosh.

I dunno if any of that made sense. Notice how it's like quarter till 3,.. i may not be the most coherent guy on earth right now. They are way more coherent in like Japan or somewhere. And i'm still on page 3 of a 4 page paper? I'm no good at writing for class. Class is boring. BO-RING. Actually no, i take that back. Writing for class is BO-RING. Sometimes, even math class is fun. It happened once, seriously. Or BOR-ING. agh, whichever.

This was like eleven thirty leading up to midnight or something. Then i came home, and yeah, wrote paper, broke news to John, (ugh) and uh, well, took a break and wrote in my journal. Woo hoo, we are up to the present time, which is:

3:04 pm

And i guess this is gonna turn out to be an all nighter. Dumb me. I should hurry up and finish, then eh, no, i can't bike to the harbor, i dont have a bike :-P Wotever. I can just get breakfast at lane. I haven't eaten an actual meal in so long.

pray for chels if you read this.

9:55 pm
MOOD: I kinda wanted to tear the earth in two and set blazing every living hill until all flesh and blood is consumed. But that was lunchtime. I think i don't want to do that anymore.
MUSIC: Burning Down The House (Talking Heads)

There was a band night tonight, which Meggers and I went to, to see her friend Liz play in. But first we went to the Claymore to get a cup of coffee for me.. Meg had "already had some" (bah, poor excuse not do guzzle some). I actually don't think i like coffee. It was pretty bitter. I think i got myself too used to mixing little bits of Cappucino and honey in with it. That drink is like the best. I keep saying that in my journal... :D ...it must be true!

Liz was an awesome artist; she writes all her own songs, the ones i heard were pretty good. She plays guitar and piano, that i know of. Then she and this other guy, (what's his name?) played Can't Take My Eyes Off You. Pretty impressive. I don't typically go to a whole lot of band nights, crazy me. A bunch of times i just go there to hang out, cause there's nobody i know that performs there, so i just have been to like 6 or 8 total. I am gonna get down there later in a few minutes and check out what Alexa does in the closing act.

I ought to do something with this meatball sub. I can't eat it. Maybe i ought to give it away. Maybe i ought to clean my white shirt and black pants for thursday. Sigh..