Rules for dealing with your Shoulder To Cry On in order to keep said Shoulder at it`s Optimum
Shoulders get sick leave. There is a good reason for this -Shoulders get emotional when they are sick just like everyone else.This means Mediating STRESSES THEM OUT. Without sickleave they may breaksomething. Like your neck.
Before saying "Do you KNOW how hard it would be to.." read through the last five emails your Shoulder has sent you again, and ask yourself whether your Shoulder DOES in fact know EXACTLY how hard it is because they have already done that for you.
Your Shoulder has generally come to you if not in optimum condition then at least as little Half Dead s it is ever going to be. Please try to return it in like state.
You are NOT allowed to kill Shoulders. Only halfkill them. They don`t Mediate very well when they`re dead.
Shoulders just occasionally have Bad Days too. Strange but true. Some of these Bad Days oddly enough come when they`re come home after a tiring day and someone lets loose a torrent of abuse at them... because - and believing this is a PERFECTLY good reason - they have had a Bad Day.
Shoulder don't demand much in payment for their services, but a simple "Thankyou" is often all they need. It can make their day. Does it cose ou so much?
Shoulder deserve an apology. From BOTH sides.
Shoulders may occasionally be out of commission due to sickness/work/other Traumas from other friends. Please bear with us and normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.
Shoulders strangely enough, WORRY about you. Therefore if a problem you have been talking to them about goes away then do them the favour of telling them this as soon as possible so THEY don`t fret over it.
Shoulders are not bullet proof. What you say to them often hurt even if they don't show it when they are with you. You may be fixed at the end, and they walk away wounded.
When a Shoulder has spent two hours of their life trying to help you, soothe you and give you good advice it will not kill you to actually pay ATTENTION to some of it.
Shoulders are people too, and have real lives in between solving crises. Getting angry at them not being there the MOMENT you decide to be traumatised is not a good start.
If you have managed to reduce your Shoulder to a Quivering Whimpering Heap please at least notice this fact
Remember that the person you are calling horrible names to at your Shoulder may also be your Shoulders friend and you are arousing every protective and guarding instinct your Shoulder has got. Shoulders HAVE to see it from both sides! It`s their JOB!
Remember that having a Bad Day is no longer tolerated as a viable excuse for mistreatment or abuse of a shoulder. If they don't do it to you then you can learn to NOT do it to them!
Shoulders learn early on to keep fairly good control of themselves. Therefore if you manage to rouse one to VISIBLE upset or anger, think JUST how hard you have pushed them.
Shoulders are sometimes scared of you when they have to mediate. Coming in between two yelling people is a scary job, especially when both are likely to tear strips out of YOU too. Look after them a bit.
Shoulders ARE around when you aren`t having a Trauma. You CAN sometimes contact them to tell them you`re having a GOOD day!
Shoulders are NOT there to solve your problems for you... there are there to support you. YOU have to solve your OWN problems...but they will help. Making them responsible for your life is Against the Rules.
Shoulders are Human. They have limitations. They do not always have the Answers.
In order to get the result you want chances are you are going to have to do something you don`t like. SO WHAT? If you don`t like it then give up n getting the good result then. Yelling t your Shoulder doesn`t give them the ability to change that.
At the end of a mediated argument someone DOES have to say "sorry" first. It isn`t a dirty word, and it won`t kill you to do it.
.Blaming everything on the Shoulder is not a viable way of solving an argument.
Four Shoulders are allowed at least some holiday leave a year. These people are doing a normal days work, solving problems in their OWN lives and then sorting out several OTHER peoples lives for them too! Their normal working hours are probably illegal in most countries. Holidays are neccesary.
Shoulders are nonreturnable. You cannot change your Shoulder for a better one. Chances are the one you`ve got will even go to the lengths of running after you if you run away. Therefore if you NEED help and have indicated so then please leave a method by which your Shoulder can contact you. Do not leave them listening to an answermachine because youdon`t want to answer your phone
These rules may seem stringent, but they are necessary for dealing with your Shoulder. Breaking any or all will invalidate your warranty with your Shoulder.