Tahoe
By Shoshana

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
July 1999
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Scully... Scully. Wake up, please... Scully... I've got something to tell you..."

I shake off sleep, reluctant to leave my pleasant dream, one which features my partner between my tightly wound legs, one which... Damn! Why is Mulder waking me up now? I just dozed off for a few minutes, exhausted from our sightseeing tour of the Lake Tahoe area.

But it's dark now, and as my eyes regain their ability to focus on objects near and far, I wonder what the hell is going on. Mulder has his panic face on, and his voice sounded tremulous just a minute ago.

Maybe he's had all day to think. Maybe he's going to dump me now. Back to platonic Mulder and Scully. No more hand holding. No more passionate kisses. No more romance. Though, God knows, today certainly didn't lack for passion. Until we hopped in the car to drive back to Truckee for the night. I must have fallen asleep the minute my head rested against the seat.

We hadn't discussed this morning yet. I'd woken up to a bed without Mulder. I'd thought he'd at least sleep there till morning, so we could... Well, maybe not. He was against that for now, for very good reasons, I suppose. But, at least we could have snuggled in bed together, kissed each other good morning.

I'd grabbed my robe and run across the hall, eager to find him. He was already showering, running clothes discarded on the hardwood floor. I'd considered joining him for half a second, then thought better of it. The boldness I'd felt at the bar last night had evaporated by morning; I was unwilling to trespass on Mulder's privacy till I knew we were still a couple. His absence from my bed this morning didn't necessarily mean we weren't one. But I didn't want to take anything for granted.

I'd showered and dressed in the tiny, but tastefully decorated bathroom. And I'd been pleasantly surprised to find both breakfast and Mulder waiting for me on the other side of the door. He'd brought it up from the bed and breakfast's kitchen, courtesy of our gracious hosts.

He'd been so excited about our plans for the day, and so genuinely affectionate with me while we ate our meal, side by side, on the bed, that I tabled any questions I had about our sleeping arrangements. We looked over some travel brochures and finally decided just to drive around the lake, stopping whenever we felt like it.

We'd had a magnificent day, following the perimeter of the lake, stopping to watch boats on the water, grabbing a picnic lunch, then lazing around on a blanket from the car. We'd just enjoyed the fine July weather and each other, making out like teenagers, oblivious to the rest of the world.

Eventually, we'd gotten back into the car at sunset, stopping only to get a better view from a higher elevation. As twilight settled down on us, we headed back to Truckee, and I must have fallen asleep on the way. Now, Mulder is trying to wake me, to tell me something important, and the only thing that comes to my confused mind is the irrational fear that he's going to end this loving relationship now, before we let it go any further.

Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe I've acquired that trait from Mulder. But I'm terrified that he's woken me up just now to tell me we're through. The reason I didn't wake up with his warm body next to mine this morning is clear; he's trying to extricate himself from this already, trying to let me down easy.

It makes no sense... no sense at all, considering his subsequent actions all day. But it's been niggling at me all day and I want an answer. Now.

"Scully... Come on. Look over at me, Scully... this is important..."

He's pulled the car over to the side of the road and I realize how preoccupied I've been, lost in my own thoughts, while Mulder has been negotiating a particularly narrow road, halfway up a small mountain. Probably the only reason he hasn't insisted on my complete wakefulness yet.

We're parked on some scenic overlook now, safely out of the path of traffic. I look over at him and ask without hesitation, "Why'd you leave so fast this morning?"

"Leave where?" he says, genuinely confused by my question.

"My bed, Mulder. My bed."

"I wanted you to sleep, Scully. I got up and went running and then took a shower. Then got you breakfast. What's wrong?"

"I wanted to wake up beside you..."

"Well, considering how tired you were last night, I just let you sleep. I wasn't avoiding you, if that's what you're thinking. I would have stayed if I'd known..."

He reaches over with one hand, trying to caress my cheek. Reflexively, I pull away from him, still unsure what's so important, what he's going to tell me now.

"Are you planning on ending this now? Because if you are, Mulder, just go ahead and do it. Don't leave me hanging like this all day long. Don't patronize me. You don't have to let me down easy. I can handle it. I'll understand if you want to go back to the way things were. Just don't string me along like this..."

"Scully, I don't know what you've been dreaming about, or what effect it's had on your conscious mind, but I'm not planning on ending anything. I left your bed this morning because our relationship *is* important to me, and I don't want to do anything to screw it up. I didn't want there to be any pressure to rush into things this morning, just because we were in bed together."

"You mean pressure to make love?"

"Yes," he says, softly.

"Well, I would have. Had you stayed."

"I know. But I still wanted us to have more time to adjust. I know you think, because of all the jokes we make between us, all the innuendo... that I can't wait to hop into bed with you."

"Well, you did..."

"And slept. Right?"

"Yeah..."

"But when I woke up next to you, I was so aroused, I knew I wouldn't give you any choice in the matter if I didn't leave right away... I wouldn't have been able to control myself, Scully. Even if I'd wanted to."

"That would have been alright..."

"No. I don't think so. It just didn't feel right to me. That's why I left. And now... I'm truly upset that you think I'm trying to extricate myself from this relationship. No way am I doing that. If I was, why did we spend the whole day joined at the hip?"

"I don't know. I guess I thought you were going to tell me later. I guess... I thought you were just trying to be nice to me," I say, looking down at my lap.

"God, Scully, where are you dredging up this load of crap? I thought I was insecure! Damn, woman! How could you even imagine that I'd string you along all day, only to tell you that we'd better go back to the way things were?"

"I don't know... But it just bothered me all day that you didn't want to make love to me. No guy's ever been reluctant to before, given the opportunity..."

"No guy has ever loved you more than I do, Scully! No one's had more respect for your body or mind than I do. I'm not going to take advantage of opportunity just because I can."

"But I wanted to..."

"I know. And so did I. But twenty-four hours wasn't going to kill us. Spending the day together, getting use to each other wasn't going to hurt our sex life. I'm just sorry if I sent the wrong signal to you. I'm sorry you worried all day about this."

"Well, not all day... I had a good time today. I had a great time today. It's just been bothering me. It just seemed so overprotective..."

"Oh, God, Scully... What did you expect? I've been overprotective for seven years. Did you think I'd stop just because we kissed last night? Just because we made out for fifteen minutes in the garden? Of course I'm solicitous of you. Because I *love* you. I want everything to be perfect for you the first time we make love. I don't want to lose you..."

"You won't..."

I move over to his side of the car, abandoning the defensive position I've been maintaining against the passenger door. He reaches over, taking me into his arms, and we kiss for several minutes, deeply and just as passionately as this afternoon by the lake. We hold each other for a long time, his large hands comforting my body, his lips nuzzling my neck.

It's timeless here. We have our windows rolled down and there are no sounds of civilization, just the sounds of the wilderness at night. Wilderness! With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I realize what Mulder had woken me up for, what was so important to tell me... We're not where we should be. By now, we should have returned to Truckee. We're on the side of a small mountain, in the wilderness near Lake Tahoe. Well, in the National Forest near Lake Tahoe is probably more like it. But, we're definitely not... we're definitely *lost*.

"Mulder?" I say quietly, not ready to scream at him just yet.

"Where are we?"

He laughs nervously, then says, "I don't know."

"So, that's what was so urgent... what you were trying to wake me up for?"

"Yes," he says, as I pull myself from his embrace and face his guilt-ridden face.

"Didn't you follow the map?"

"I never brought one. It's a big lake, Scully. I never thought we'd lose sight of it. But apparently I'm just idiotic enough to have driven so far off course that it's disappeared from view."

"What do we do?"

"It's late. It's not cold. We'll just stay here overnight. I have some bottled water and Powerbars. And a blanket."

"You're low on gas, too, I bet."

No answer. He just turns his head toward the front of the vehicle and clutches at the steering wheel, for lack of anything else to do with his now nervous hands.

"Oh, well. At least it's July, Mulder. Usually when you do half-assed, stupid things, it's the middle of winter in some remote part of the world."

My sarcasm slips out despite my better judgment. I can't resist giving him flak about this.

"Usually?" he says, turning toward me, temper flaring again.

"Well, the other times we're just inconvenienced by swamps or deserts or extreme weather conditions, such as hurricanes..."

"I'll admit to the hurricane, Scully. But I think you're exaggerating..."

"Your ability to get us into shit up to our ankles? I don't think so, Mulder. I think that you're lucky that things aren't worse. We could be attacked by wild animals, bandits, or more plausibly, lost on this stupid mountain for days."

"Scully... first of all, we're safe in this car from ferocious creatures. Second, we both have our weapons with us. Third, someone will come by tomorrow and we can ride back to civilization with them. This isn't that remote an area. It's still in the National Forest and someone is bound to spot us."

"Did you tell the owners of the bed and breakfast where we were going?"

"Yeah. And they'll be worried if we don't come home tonight. So maybe a Sheriff's helicopter will find us in the morning. But I'm pretty sure some tourist will be by before then."

"Mulder?"

"Huh?"

"Is this your version of running out of gas so you can make out with your girlfriend?"

This provokes his first real smile since I called him on the gas situation. I'm glad, because all things considered, I'm not really angry at him. If anything, I'm relieved that no worse will come to pass now than discomfort from sleeping in this nice, but not too roomy Taurus.

"Very clever, Scully. You should do stand-up."

"Well, Mulder. I think I'd prefer to lie down instead of stand up..."

"Scully, are you coming on to me?"

He's wearing a shit-faced grin and I smile oh-so-sweetly back at him, enjoying the lighter tone of our conversation. I open the car door and get out to stretch my legs. He takes the hint and comes outside, too.

After relieving himself in some nearby bushes, Mulder retrieves the blanket from the trunk and throws it over the hood of the car. He lies down on it, asking me to join him with one outstretched hand. I comply, reclining next to him, staring up at the night sky. The stars are so beautiful on this still warm July night. I look at my watch and see that's only ten o'clock. We've got a long way to go till dawn.

"Sorry, Scully," he says, grasping my hand.

"Don't worry about it. This is kinda fun."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"I think we have some picnic food left if you're hungry," he says.

"Okay."

"We still okay about the other thing?"

"What?" I've lost track of what the other thing could possibly be.

"You know."

Oh, that. "You mean about this morning?"

"Yeah," he says softly.

"I guess so. I guess you're not ditching me tonight, are you?"

"Scully, this morning was not a ditch. I just went and ran off my... um... excess energy."

"Want to put it to good use, Agent Mulder?"

"You are coming on to me."

"Yes, I am."

Without further ado, I climb onto him, settling my self across his hips. The moonlight illuminates his eyes and I enjoy the simple pleasure of gazing into them before lowering my mouth to his for a long kiss. I fit my body snugly against his, my face tucked underneath his chin.

His arms envelop me and one hand gently strokes through my hair. The other concentrates on my lower back, tracing and retracing the area around my tattoo. I know he's never seen it. I wonder if he'd like to now. I hate to break the relaxed mood we're in. I hate to dredge up the past. But I bet he's thinking about it. Just like I am.

Now I know he's thinking about it. His warm hand has crept under my shirt, focusing on that very spot. I shift slightly across him, discovering the real warmth between his legs. I rub against him ever so slowly, ever so gently. I can feel, as well as hear, the low groan from his throat.

"Oh. God. Scully."

"Like that?"

"Yes."

"Wanna see my tattoo, little boy?" I tease.

"Oh, Jesus, Scully. I'd like to see every inch of you, but isn't this an awkward place to disrobe?"

"I don't know. Nobody else around."

"You're serious."

"Why not?"

"Scully, I'm not making love to you on the hood of this Taurus."

"Did I say I wanted to? I just wanted to show you the tattoo, that's all. You seem to show a lot of interest with that area of my anatomy."

"Not because your tattoo is there. Because the skin is so soft and smooth there. I'm *not* obsessed with your tattoo."

"Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much..."

"Well, maybe I do think about it occasionally. And maybe I am curious to see it."

"Did you see the photo of it in the case file?"

"Yes."

"Oh, so you have more than a passing interest in it, huh?"

"Scully, it was a crummy picture in the case file. I looked at it for ten seconds to see what it was. That's all."

"Did you get jealous?"

"Scully!"

He sits up, gently bringing me with him. We're side by side now, legs stretched out across the blanket. He puts one arm around me and leans over to give me a brief, sweet little kiss. He pulls back a bit so he can look me in the eye.

"Scully... Of course I was jealous. What else would I be?"

"Well, you seemed rather indifferent to me at the time."

"That was your perception. That wasn't the reality. And then... then you got sick. It was irrelevant to me by then. It didn't cross my mind for a long time after that. I guess the last time I gave much thought to it was... was... when we had the decon shower last February."

"You were peeking."

"You were peeking, too, Scully."

"See anything you liked?"

"What little I saw, I liked."

"Oh, that's really complimentary, Mulder. What *little* you saw."

"Jesus, you know I'm not referring to your breasts! I'm just saying that I didn't see a whole lot in the split second I looked over at you."

"Wanna see them?"

"Now?"

"Why not?"

"Scully. If I start undressing you in earnest, I won't be able to stop there. It's all or nothing. I just can't see them without..."

"Sucking them?"

"You are making it very difficult..."

"No, I think I'm probably making it very *hard*..."

I think I may have pushed Mulder to his limit. Because he's just pushed me down on the hood of the car, covering my body completely. It feels so so good, and I let my hands roam all over him as his lips bear down on my mouth. His hands gently clasp my head, his fingers combing through my hair.

He's rubbing up against me, against my thin shirt, against my khaki shorts. He shifts his body, lowering himself from my mouth, kissing my neck, kissing my shoulders, kissing my breasts. I moan in delight. He's kissing them through my T-shirt, licking and nipping at them, as his hands follow his wet mouth, caressing them, playing with them.

Suddenly, he stops. He just stops. Becomes very quiet, then rolls over to one side, his forearm flung over his eyes. He's still breathing heavily, his whole body struggles for control.

"Mulder?" I say, so softly.

No response.

I take his hand and bring it to my lips, kissing it lightly.

"Hey, come on. Stop trying to make everything perfect. I don't care if we're on the hood of a car, Mulder. All I care about is being with you. You. Only you."

He rolls over onto his side and looks at me. I can see the desire and the torment in his eyes. Why does he think I need things to be just so, just right? Does he have me up on some kind of silly pedestal? Dana Scully can only be made love to under dignified circumstances?

"Scully..."

I fall into his arms and we begin kissing again, unrestrained, filled with desire. I crush my breasts against him, straining to be as close to him as possible, wrapping my arms around him, my hands clinging tightly to his neck. He holds me just as firmly, his long arms reaching down to my bottom, then smoothing up and down the contours of my spine.

He rolls me over on top of him and we continue to exchange long, wet kisses, as his hands move in between us and caress my swollen breasts. He gently plays with my nipples and I grind against his erection, gasping with sensation.

Then we stop. We just stop. Because halogen headlights have just come within five hundred feet of us. And are heading for our car. We ungracefully part company, shielding our eyes from the light. Mulder reacts first, hopping off the top of the car, rushing to the driver's side door. It takes me a minute to realize what he's doing; he's going for his gun, ever the cautious Federal Agent.

The Ford Explorer pulls up within twenty feet of our car and a very tall woman emerges in a Sheriff's Department uniform. I breathe a sigh of relief and turn to see that Mulder has already set his weapon down on the seat.

"Can I help you folks?" the woman says, in a friendly voice.

"Yes. We're lost and low on gas. If you can tell us how far we are from the nearest filling station, maybe we can make it. Otherwise, I think we'll have to tag along with you back to civilization," I say.

"You're only five miles from the nearest minimart. I know it gets confusing around this area. We're constantly on the lookout for people like you. Hey, sorry if I interrupted a private moment, there. I'm never sure when I'm not wanted."

"No, that's quite all right. We don't mind at all. We need to get back to Truckee tonight," Mulder chips in.

"Hey, aren't you the FBI agent from the bar last night?" she asks me.

I'm mortified that she recognizes me, but try to ignore the compromising position we've been discovered in and speak in a steady, even tone.

"Yes, that's me. I'm happy to say that the girl survived. Nice to be in the right place at the right time once in a while."

Unlike tonight, I think to myself. Some vacation this has developed into, Dana.

"Well, got to keep on schedule, folks. Why don't you follow me down the road here and I'll get you where you're supposed to go."

"Thanks so much, Deputy..." I hesitate, realizing no one's been formally introduced here.

"Aggie Waters. Pleased to meet you..."

"Fox Mulder and Dana Scully," Mulder says from behind me.

"You enjoy the rest of your stay here. And you all say hello to AD Walter Skinner when you get back to DC. I'm his goddaughter, you know."

We get into our car and sit in stony silence, waiting for Aggie to turn her SUV around. Not only were we found in a compromising position on the hood of our fucking car, the woman had ties to Skinner. If we survived one day without being dragged into his office for unprofessional conduct in the field, we would be damn lucky.

"Good thing we didn't take our clothes off, Agent Scully."

"No thanks to you, Agent Mulder."

"Hey, you're just as much to blame, sweetheart. I've been trying to be discreet. Now, the whole county will know about the FBI agents on the hood of their car."

I glare at him, furiously. "Mulder, this is a real bad time to start calling me sweetheart, okay?"

We call a somewhat uneasy truce and follow the Explorer to the gas station. I duck into the restroom, a welcome sight after hours in the 'wilderness.' It's ironic that we were so close to gas the entire time. Well, dammit, I enjoyed myself and I'll find it unacceptable if Mulder doesn't stay with me tonight. All night.

Half an hour later, we pull into our parking spot at the B and B. It's after midnight now and we pad up to our rooms stealthily. Actually, make that Mulder's room. I'm not letting him out of my sight. I fear that he might cut and run, literally. Snap on his running shoes and tell me not to wait up for him.

No chance of that, thank goodness. I think he's come to his senses at last. We're stripping each other's clothes off as fast as we can, racing each other to that nice soft bed. I much prefer it to the hood of the car.

Mulder and I resume our lovemaking, sans clothes at last. He insists on giving that infamous tattoo special attention, marking it, possessing it as his own. I shudder with delight as he nips and licks at it, gently smoothing his hands over my hips as he does so. He works his way up my back, kissing each vertebrae, massaging his way to the top.

He covers me, kissing my neck tenderly, rubbing his stubbled cheek against my shoulder. I nudge him with my leg and he understands, rolling onto his back, welcoming me on top of him. We've had enough foreplay the last twenty-four hours. It's time to get him inside me.

One last frantic kiss, one last look into his beautiful eyes, before guiding him inside me, slowly, carefully. He caresses my hips, my breasts, my thighs, encouraging me to move above him. We create our own rhythm, our own precious memory of our first time together. When I come, I am as close to him as I can possibly be, my arms around his waist, my cheek pressed into his chest. He follows me by seconds, calling out my name, pressing into me as deeply as he can.

I'm thoroughly exhausted, drifting off to sleep, when I hear him say, "Damn, you're worth waiting for."

You, too, Mulder. You, too.

  
fin

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