| TOW Phoebe's Dad |
| Phoebe: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ugly naked guy is decorating his tree. Oh my god, you should see the size of his Christmas balls. |
| Joey: I can't believe that it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day you're eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and your geese are a-layin'. Chandler: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year. |
| Phoebe: No, that's my step-dad. My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born. Rachel: How have you never been on Oprah? |
| Chandler: Ya know, I remember my father, all dressed up in the red suit, the big black boots, and the patent leather belt, sneakin' around downstairs. He didn't want anybody to see him, but he'd be drunk, so he'd stumble, crash into something and wake everybody up. Rachel: Well, that doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas. Chandler: Who said anything about Christmas. |
| Monica: Well, maybe the mailman liked the cookies, we just didn't give him enough. Joey: Monica, pigeons learn faster than you. |
| Phoebe: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number for Frank Buffay?...Ok, im, in Ithica,...alright, um, Saratoga...Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call yourself information. |
| Joey: Phoebe here with the cab yet? Chandler: Yeah, she, she brought the invisible cab...hop in. |
| Monica: So, wait, you really did like my cookies? Mr. Treeger: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared. Rachel(to Ross): Nice seizing...gel boy. |