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" He is racist, he's homophobic, he's xenophobic and he's a sexist. He's the perfect Republican candidate." "I am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend-if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
Liberal political commentator Bill Press, speaking about Pat Buchanan.
"You can't see as well as   these fucking flowers-and  there fucking plastic!"
Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend second-if there is one.
Tennis player John McEnroe, speaking to a line judge
Winston Churchill, in reply to George Bernard Shaw
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
"Who picks your clothes-Stevie Wonder?"
William Faulkner, speaking about Ernest Hemingway.
US comic Don Rickles to talk- show host David Letterman
"If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
"If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee."
Winston Churchill in reply to Lady Astor.
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill.
"Sir, you're drunk!"
"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill.
Winston Churchill, replying to Lady Astor
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words."
"The only reason he had a child is so that he can meet babysitters."
Ernest Hemingway's response to William Faulkner.
US talk-show host David Letterman, speaking about Warren Beaty
"He acts like he's got a Mixmaster up his ass and doesn't want anyone to know it."
"Do you mind if I smoke?"
Oscar Wilde to actress Sarah Bernhardt.
Marlon Brando, speaking about Montgomery Clift.
"Well at least he has finally found his true love. What a pity he can't marry himself."
"I don't care if you burn."
Sarah Bernhardt, in reply to Oscar Wilde.
Frank Sinatra, speaking about Robert Redford
"Boy George is all England needs-another queen who can't dress."
"Michael Jackson was a poor black boy who grew up to be a rich white woman.
US comedienne Joan Rivers.
Author Molly Ivins.
"He has the vocal modulation of a railway-station announcer, the expressive power of a fencepost and the charisma of a week-old head of lettuce."
"If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head."
Columnist and author Jim Hightower.
Film critic Fintan O'Toole, speaking about Quentin Tarantino.
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