Q: Your full name is?
V: Vampirella. But note this is only a translation of my real "soulname" 
(which is for me to know and you to guess) from Drakulonnish to Earthian.  
It means "little girl". (Cf. Kore, Demeters daughter!)
Q: And you are?
V: A vampire.
Q: Duh!
V: That's no question...
Q: Duh??
V: Better! Well, not your run-of-the coffin vampire. I see you brought your anti-vampire
kit with you. Cross, holy water, silver, garlic - it won't affect me, and I neither need 
Sun-Block Factor 1000000 to get a tan. Well, the stake ...but a stake through the heart
is bad for ANYONES health (although I have remarkable healing powers...)
Q: Like Wolverine?
V: (sighs) Everything he does I do better...yes, and I nearly forgot the main difference: 
You don't have to fear me, I just drank my blood substitute. I'm on the side of the good guys.
Q: Huh? I think you are a "BAD GIRL"?
V: Satyr and Circe! I came to Earth in '69, when heroines still were stupid broads - 
remember, Batgirl couldn't fight because having a run in her thighs? 
You call THAT a role model? And now, Americas society going down in violence 
and the new heroines just trying to top men in fragging, maiming and destroying? 
You call THAT a role model either? (Besides, I still clobber Purgatory 
with one fang tied on my back!)
Q: Now wait a minute! Didn't you put on some gratitious fragging yourself lately? 
In the Harris era...
V: (her fangs go out) Don't utter the H-word if your life means something to you! 
The takeover of them bastiches (they're only in for the green) was a Harris-burg for me! 
I should sue them for Harris-ment! 
Q: Cool - where did you get that puns?
V: (cools) Teenage trauma. Always happens when I'm turning batty. Morbus Flaxman, you see.
Q: Back to theme - and YOU are a female role model? What do you say about the 
accusation that your costume is sexist?
V: As my fellow goddess Ororo says, "A body is nothing to be ashamed of." 
Moreover, applied male physiology: The blood that goes into their weenies will miss 
in their brains. 'Twas my life insurance in all the fights. Guess why my most dangerous 
foes were female?
Q: Fellow Goddess? You're not the humble type...
V: Well, the sun god Huitzinga...no, Huitzukidoji...ah, blast those aztec names...
Huitzipochtli, that's it, he took me for his moon sister bride, didn't he? 
(Notice my half-moon earrings!) Belonging to a superior race is nothing to be 
ashamed of either. Of course, even among the undead vampires there is a big schisma: 
some see the humans only as cattle and some want to coexist. Evil is no matter of rhesus type.
Q: A deep philosophical statement. Like to close with a final word to our readers?
V: Life sucks - but so do I !

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